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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Why am I feeling this way? - November 18th 2013, 02:32 AM

Hi,

So I've never had anything tragic/stressful/bad happen to me, like, ever. I live in a nice home, with both of my happily married biological parents and my little sister. We are catholic and go to church every Sunday. We are financially stable and are a happy, closely knit family.

I go to a public school, where I have friends. I'm not super popular, but I get along we'll with others. I'm a B+ student, and the only subject I really struggle in is math. I've never been bullied. Overall, school has been pretty good.

The only things I've really struggled with in my life are medical issues. I have:
-Scoliosis (I wore a back brace freshman year. I was horrified of being teased because it showed through my clothes. It was the only really rough patch in my life).
-Autism (Aspergers Syndrome to be specific)
-Strabismus
-Ehlers Danlos Syndrome

I try not to let these get to me though.

It's really weird, but I want to cut. I just want to see what it feels like. Why would I want to cut if my life hasn't been bad? Should I do it just once? Will I become addicted? Why am I feeling this way?


I love you to the moon and back.

Darling you are the only exception. ~Paramore ♡
   
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Re: Why am I feeling this way? - November 18th 2013, 02:54 AM

Hi there,

Don't feel too bad that you have these urges even though you have a good life. I have what people would call a good life as well, but I still do struggle with self harm.

I think that curiosity is definitely a reason that some people may start self harming. They want to know what it feels like, but then they start to become addicted to the feeling that it gives, because it releases chemicals that make a person feel good. So, that may be why you want to self harm as well.

Definitely DON'T do it, not even once. You're right that it can become addictive, even once, or you may feel the urge to try again, which is definitely a slippery slope to go down, where you start to crave the self harm more and more. Also, you have to worry about keeping it clean to prevent infection or hiding it from those you don't want to get concerned.

If the urge ever gets too strong, maybe you can try out an alternative. A list is located here. These are healthier, safer ways to cope when you get the urge, and that way you won't have to worry about getting addicted. Or, if the urge gets strong, speak to an adult about it so they can help you through the situation.

It's not worth it to try cutting, not even once, so please try not to.

-Dez


   
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Re: Why am I feeling this way? - November 21st 2013, 10:52 PM

This is exactly what happened to me. I have a "good life" as far as they go. In my case I'd been thinking about it a long time, but a friend of mine (she was no friend I wish on anyone) noticed and handed me the knife. I regret it the most of anything I've ever done. It is absolutely addictive and the rush isn't worth the hassle of hiding and cleaning it, the guilt, the drama if you are caught, and the emotional trauma. I've been clean a long time, but I still struggle with fighting off the urge. Be strong now so you don't have to go through hell later. Something I do, that may or may not work, is when the urge is its worst, I read fanfiction (but any story will do) where the main character SHs and for some reason this vicariously helps get rid of my own urge. This doesn't work, or makes it worse, for some people. Good luck!
   
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