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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Liz12Girl Offline
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What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 2nd 2015, 08:35 PM

So basically , last year, I was in year 5 at elementary school. I was upset that day because my BFF had literally deserted me. The girl who was bullying me told my teacher, I'll call him W, that I'd told her to F word off. W hadn't been our teacher for very long and didn't know I have a tendency to self harm. He told me off. I was a member of the school council and we wore a pin badge. I thought his back was turned and I self harmed with the [Edited] ( I won't go into detail ) W was watching and he saw me do it. He came over and growled " I saw that" in front of the whole class. Then he called the councellor and told her in great detail IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS what I did. I still have a panic attack when I think of this, and yes, I still do self harm. The reason I don't think it was handled right, was because the whole class didn't need to know, and it could have triggered someone. Also, he didn't need to scare me and yell at me.
What do you guys think? I want some other people's point of view. Thanks!

Last edited by cynefin; June 3rd 2015 at 03:37 AM. Reason: Removing methods of self-harm.
   
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Re: What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 2nd 2015, 09:11 PM

Hi! What he did was totally uncalled for. He did not have to tell the counselor in front of the entire class. You should be the one to tell those you are comfortable with about it, not the teacher. I don't think much would happen if he caught you doing it a year ago, though if you are comfortable with it, maybe talk to him calmly about how you felt? It might help with the panic attacks. Welcome to the site by the way I'm here if you need someone to talk to!


"Remember your loved and you always will be. This melody will bring you right back home." - Linkin park, The messenger. Stay strong everyone!! You are always strong enough to get through whatever life throws your way, no matter how hard it may seem.
   
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Re: What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 3rd 2015, 03:34 AM

Welcome to TeenHelp!

I agree in that your teacher could have handled the situation better. Your self-harm should have been kept confidential instead of being broadcasted to the entire classroom. People do tend to feel a lot of different emotions when they find out that someone is self-harming, but he should have put his own feelings aside and worried about you and your well-being instead of getting upset with you. Don't let this bad experience scare you away from telling other people, though! I can promise that not everyone will react in the same way that your teacher did.


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Re: What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 3rd 2015, 11:25 AM

Hi! Thank you for the replies. That is exactly what I thought. The reason I'm so affected by it now, Is because I don't want to tell anyone now in case they react like W. I think I'm probably being silly about it though :-)
   
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Re: What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 3rd 2015, 12:30 PM

Hey there,

I agree with the others. Your teachers reaction was compleately wrong.
And being scared to tell anyone now is not being stupid. It's a normal reaction. You made a very bad experience and now your scared of making the same experience again. Most people would.

Also, you may have found it already, but this is a link to the Alternatives threat:
http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/
There are a lot of things on that list that you can do, instead of self harming. Maybe you could give it a look and see if there's something for you on there, because you deserve better.

Welcome to the side and you can always pm me, if you have any questions or just want to talk to someone


It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

   
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Re: What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 3rd 2015, 02:33 PM

Thank you Etari, the link was very helpful. I've had a look and there's lots of interesting alternatives on there :-)
   
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Re: What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 5th 2015, 04:43 AM

I think that there would also be a really big difference between you going to someone about it and them catching you. When you go to them, you can make sure that no one else is around and they may not be as caught off guard.



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Re: What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 5th 2015, 04:43 AM

Hey,

I don't think you should let your past define whether or not you seek help. I think that there are a lot of people who would respond in a different manner. They would take what happened seriously and they would be willing to help you get help for the issue. I suggest that you look into talking to a counselor about your self harm. I know that might be hard but you deserve to get help for this.


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Liz12Girl Offline
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Re: What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 7th 2015, 12:14 PM

Thanks. Have been talking to ChildLine and here, but I will need to tell my mum to get a proper counsellor. I think I will tell her this week. Thanks for your support guys! :-)
   
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Re: What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 11th 2015, 02:28 PM

OK, I just relapsed...
   
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Re: What happens if a teacher catches you self harming? I know this was ages ago but I think they handled it wrong. - June 11th 2015, 08:53 PM

And that's perfectly fine.
People relapse. Because it's hard to stay strong all the time and fight of the urges again and again and again.
SH is a coping mechanism and you can get used to it so fast and start to depend on it.
Quiting isn't that easy. If it was I guess we all would have stopped long ago^^
But relapse doesn't mean that you have failed or anything. Try to see it this way. That you relapsed means, that you had some time in between where you were strong. You were strong and fought! And that is not as simple as it may sound. You made the decision to fight and just that simple decision is so hard!
You know that saying, about how it doesn't matter how often you fall, as long as you get up again? It's true. You have relapsed, but you can get up again and start quiting again. Maybe this time you can make it you goal, to make it one day longer.

I want to tell you something a therapist once said to me and to me it meant the world back then, because I felt awfull for relapsing again and again and throwing a fit and throwing things around if I couln't SH.
He told me it's ok to relapse. It's ok to go back to my knife, if everything alternative failed and I can't take it anymore. It's ok, as long as I put the knife away afterwards and try to figure out what went wrong and how I can do it differently next time.
Noone expects you to be perfect. Noone expects you to do a cold turkey and give up on something you relied on right away. It's a process and relapsing is part of it.
So don't let yourself get discouraged because you relapsed
I'm sure you can do it. We all can, no matter how many relapses it will take


It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

   
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