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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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MorbidDaisies Offline
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Help, and how to stop? - June 21st 2015, 03:03 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've been convincing myself that I need to hear other people's opinion and I've been very apprehensive on posting a "help" post on the forums, but I'll just write it down anyways, probably will delete it later, if it's possible.

I've been self harming since I was 16, and it's not only cutting my skin open, but purposely hitting the walls, walking into the corner of the glass tables, "dropping" cups and glasses on my feet, taking tablets and pills, giving myself bruises. I don't think my parents know that I purposely do this to myself but my sister and my best friend know that I self harm. My sister saw fresh scars on my thighs and on my legs and confronted me about it, told my best friend and I've told them that I don't do it anymore but I do. I started self harming because I had a rough time at school and I didn't know how to cope with it, I also had family issues which was bringing me down. I turned to self harm after one of my friends from school, admitted to me that he does it every night and he told me how it worked and I remember, sitting in the bath and slicing my skin open and freaking out, but I loved the feeling and from there, I always found ways to harm myself and hiding it from my parents.

I'm probably being really silly or paranoid but I've noticed that when we watch TV together, and there's a reference about self harm or suicide, I've noticed that the whole family just stares at me. I get really uncomfortable and nervous and anxious.

I recently learnt that my mother did similar stuff to what I'm doing right now and I'm just wondering if this stuff "self harming" is passed on through the genes or not?

I want to stop self harming but I'm too addicted to it. I'm currently 3 weeks self harm free but I definitely know that I'll break it soon :/
   
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Re: Help, and how to stop? - June 21st 2015, 07:47 PM

Hi there,

It is really great that you posted here1

As far as feeling as if people are staring at you when self harm or suicide is on TV, I kind of feel the same way. I think it is just something in our minds that is kind of like "Oh god, what if they're judging me?' Chances are they aren't actually though, and I bet if they do look at you it is just because they are concerned about you!

You mentioned that you're wondering if self harming can be passed on through genes. I can't be fully sure of that answer, but I know that things such as mental illness can. I know that you may want to hide your self harm from your parents, but since your mom went through something similar when she was younger, maybe she'd be a support system to you? I'd sit down with her on a day when she is in a relatively good mood and talk to her about this. You don't deserve to go through this alone and it can really help to have someone who has been there to talk to about this. You can also talk to another family member, a therapist, a doctor, or someone else you trust. That way you will learn ways to cope and solve your problems, and it can just help to get everything off your chest.

You are right that self harm is addictive. The thing with self harm is that it releases endorphins. In a way, it can be compared to a drug, because like with a drug, you eventually will get to a point where you need more and more self harm in order to feel the same effect you did before, and even in different ways. Self harm isn't a good way to cope though because then you have to worry about people finding out as well as the risk of infection, plus the problems just come back because you aren't actually doing anything to solve them.

To start breaking the addiction you need to find other things to do in place of the self harm. This list of alternatives may be a good starting point for you. They are healthier and safer ways to cope. It may take a few tries to find an alternative that works for you, but keep it up! The more alternatives you try the more likely you are to find one that is useful to you.

I know you can do this!

-Dez


   
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Re: Help, and how to stop? - June 24th 2015, 07:05 AM

Thanks for replying. I do want to tell my mother but I don't trust her. I don't have anyone else to talk to
   
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