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-   -   Going back to aunt's house. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t139712-going-back-aunts-house/)

Staypositive July 23rd 2015 04:26 AM

Going back to aunt's house.
So, on July 4th (2015), I posted a thread entitled "how to tell my aunt about my self-harm", or something similar. I said I would update on what is going on with that, and by the time I ended up going back to my aunt's house, that thread was closed. So I just wanted to leave an update saying I will be going back to her house this Friday, in the morning. I am definitely planning on telling her the first opportunity that arises, as that may be the only opportunity. I have a outline for what I want to say, ready to use. She has still been telling me that anything i say would stay between us. I have been sort of testing that theory, telling her not to tell my foster mom things that I really could care less, but the foster mom would tell me, if she found out (IE, i let the other foster kids use my laptop, i want to dye my hair pink this Christmas(I said it just to see what my aunt would do.. I don't actually want to, at least not at Christmas). So far none of it was told to my foster mom. I'm just thinking that self-harm is way more serious than pink hair, and so I don't know how she will react to that.

Anyway, I'll be there Friday, for a week and a half. I am going to try to tell my aunt as soon as I get a good place and time to do so.

L4Y July 23rd 2015 11:25 PM

Re: Going back to aunt's house.
I remember your post and thanks for keeping us all updated. I hope all goes well - best of luck! :)

DeletedAccount11 July 24th 2015 01:10 AM

Re: Going back to aunt's house.
Hey Brianna!

Telling your aunt things like that you want to dye your hair pink to see if she'd keep it secret is a good idea and I understand why you're doing that because you're just scared she'll tell others. I recommend for some people to share small things with those close to them to develop trust, but it might help if you share truer things with your aunt leading up to the big things so that she trusts you too, you know? Perhaps you could explain to your aunt that you weren't entirely honest about dying your hair pink and explain why you said that. I'm sure she'd understand and appreciate you being honest.

Secondly, you're really brave for this and I really hope telling her helps you and that she offers her support to you. Telling someone could be really beneficial and you deserve the help. Thanks for keeping us updated and if you feel comfortable, could you let us know how it goes when you do tell her? I'm definitely interested in knowing how it goes for you as I'm hoping it goes well.

I know this has got to be scary for you so you're brave and strong. Hang in there, you can do this! We're here with support for you, remember that. :)

Staypositive July 28th 2015 05:50 AM

Re: Going back to aunt's house.
Well, I said I would tell my aunt and I did. I waited until my uncle and cousins were outside ( I think fixing a bicycle), asked my aunt if I could talk to her. She said Of course. I asked her to keep what I said between us, no matter what, and she said she would. I told her what was going on and explained to her what self-harm is, etc. I actually ended up going online so that she could read about it because I was having a hard time explaining in a way she would understand. Then I explained to her just how hard it was for me to tell her and some of the reasons why. We had a long talk about it and I helped her to understand it a lot better. She started crying and I was crying too, so she gave me a huge hug and told me that she will do whatever it takes to help me get through this. She said she was glad I told her so that she understands and she can help me, and said she is really proud I am almost five months free from that. Then she said I don't deserve to do that to myself, I don't need to put myself through that. It was a really good talk, and I'm so glad she is so supportive. It really means a lot that she cares so much. It went even better than I could've hoped.

Thank you to everybody who gave me support in telling her.

DeletedAccount11 July 28th 2015 11:00 AM

Re: Going back to aunt's house.
Wow, Brianna. Thank you for sharing with us how it went for you. Reading this made me feel so positive.

This is fantastic. I am overjoyed for you in the fact that she responded with such love and support. You definitely deserve to have her support and I'm so glad that telling her went so well. Sounds like she loves you a lot, and it's also great that you went online so she could read a little bit about self-harm to understand it a little better.

Five months free is something you should be proud of. Hope her support and love for you helps you through this. Stay strong. :)

Not_here July 28th 2015 02:07 PM

Re: Going back to aunt's house.
I'm so happy she's been supportive to you. You've done well to tell her and open up. :hug:

.:Bibliophile:. July 29th 2015 12:42 AM

Re: Going back to aunt's house.
Hey there,

I am glad that you were able to talk to your aunt. I think it will be great for you to have some support from her. I think having support while you are trying to recover can be so beneficial.

I am wishing you the best of luck.

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