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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Question can I have some new ideas - July 27th 2015, 02:48 AM

My grandfather past today and I was close to him I am so close to relapseing I need some ideas to resist the urge other than a rubber band music or butterflys
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Re: can I have some new ideas - July 27th 2015, 05:29 AM

I'm sorry about your grandfather. I know that must be hard especially since you were two were so close. Maybe try writing your grandfathers name where you want to cut. I used to write the people who meant a lot to me on my arm, and who it would hurt if I cut and I found it to be a great way to help calm down my urges.

Also, try talking to family and friends and let them help you through this difficult time. You can do this. <3 If you ever want to talk, I'm always available.

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Re: can I have some new ideas - July 27th 2015, 04:57 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. To be honest, I think simply being around loved ones is a great remedy for resisting self-harm, especially for such a tragic and heavy situation. My best wishes go out to you and your family.
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Re: can I have some new ideas - July 27th 2015, 09:20 PM

I'm sorry for your loss.Things like those can be really hard and it's amazing that your reaching out, even if it's online, to get help in hard times like this.

The others already suggested awesome ideas, though I#d also like to direct you to a list of Alternatives to SH

What I personaly find very helpfull is to do something that gives a very strong sensation, without harming you, like biting on chillies or eating a lemon.

It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

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Re: can I have some new ideas - July 27th 2015, 10:32 PM

Hi there.

I am really sorry for your loss and I can't begin to imagine what you are going through right now. I'm glad you have reached out to us for some help. I don't know if any of what I say will be useful but I will try to think outside the box a little bit.

Okay so a big one that worked for me and some of the girls I have been an in-patient with is glow bands! Basically, you obliviously need glow bands (you should be able to get these pretty easily), but what you do is when you have a bad thought or an urge to self harm, you snap the glow band, put it round your wrist or neck (depending on which ones you get!) and then you aren't allowed to self harm or act on the thoughts until it has stopped glowing which is normally 6-12 hours later when the urges have normally passed or eased and you have had time to reconsider what thoughts were going on in your head.

So another, a self soothe book. I have a huge one! Its pink and green with flowers and poka dots! It of course has my glow bands in it, a book I love from my bestie, a book with 11 000 reasons to be happy, a bracelet from my sister, a necklace from my mum, gob stoppers for mindfulness, a friends dvd, soap, photo's, letters, quotes, and lots of other little things which basically help me to self soothe and relax in the moments that I am at my worse. I know when I was most recently in hospital, a lot of us used body sprays to help us calm down if we were dissociating or feeling stressed and needed to ground ourselves too!

Also have you heard of the paper chain project? Basically for every single day you go self harm free, you add a colourful link to your paper chain! However, if you end up self harming so acting on the thoughts or the urges you are having, you add a white one instead of a colourful one. The point to it is that once you start it and get it going, you will begin to see the progress you have made and I guess the more colourful links you see, the more you want there to be so you keep fighting harder? And people have often told me they look at the chain when they have an urge to self harm because in inspires them to keep on beating the urges that they are feeling in the moment.

I'll tell you something too. I lost a friend, a very close friend last year and my psychologist advised me to get a small pretty box which I did, and begin writing letters to my friend which I have been doing for months now. I find it really therapeutic and it feels like it holds that connection with my friend. I also bought the tree of life necklace when she passed because we planted a tree for her in the gardens of the hospital I was in so it means something to me and I wear it all day and all night because it makes me, feel closer to her. Maybe you could try the writing letters thing and could up with something like the necklace idea I had?

Anyway, I hope this helps a bit and know I'm here if you want to talk. You aren't alone in this!

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Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: can I have some new ideas - July 28th 2015, 01:18 AM

Hey there,

Something that helped me was writing all the negative thoughts/words that are going on inside my head on my arms and legs. It helps to get those thoughts out and it usually stops the urge. Sometimes I will write the words in red and then try and get the ink off by using ice cubes. The cold sensation helps quite a bit.

Jessie gave you a lot of good suggestions though and I hope that you find some of them helpful.

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Re: can I have some new ideas - August 7th 2015, 11:07 AM

I'm sorry for your loss... . Try writing down what you want to say to him or what you're feeling on a piece of paper, it might work.

I'm not a cutter, I'm a fighter.
These are my scars from battle.
This is the blood of my enemies.
Don't relate me to them, because unlike them,
I'm strong,
and they can be just like me if they try.
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