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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
crotia Offline
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to freaking bad - August 27th 2015, 12:36 PM

I'm done.
I'm done trying to stop SH when I like it so much.
I'm done trying to get thin the healthy way when it doesn't get me anywhere.
It's my body and I'll do what I want with it.
And if anyone has a problem with it that's too freaking bad.


Helping others sometimes makes it easier to feel good about yourself and help yourself.

So PM me if You want.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
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Re: to freaking bad - August 27th 2015, 01:29 PM

Hey,

You're right, it is your body. And at the end of the day it is your choice what you do with it. Obviously harming yourself is something you've chosen to do for a while now, and it's become such a problem that it's not necessarily something you do my choice now, but rather because you feel it's all you can do. Can I ask why you say you like it? Do you like the feeling it gives you afterwards? Does it help you feel like other problems aren't so big? Is it a matter of confusing liking SH with a feeling of control?

Taking this into account, I really feel you should keep trying to find an alternative or a method that works for you. There are millions of people who SH in the world, and there are millions of people who used to SH in the world. People who have been where you are and faced the struggle, felt like giving up but then didn't. The right method for you is out there, perhaps lost in amongst all of the ones that aren't, but if you keep searching you will find it. Personally, goal setting is something I found worked for me. I would set myself a target, usually marked by a social event no matter how small, and try to stay SH free until then. When you reach that target (which you may not always do, but it's just a blip - you can do it!), you set yourself another one, maybe a bit further away, and keep doing this until you feel you can cope without target setting. When the urges come back, which they will, just set yourself another target. When the goal arrives and you're SH free, you might feel like it's a reward. Something you can enjoy as a result of achievin something this great.

Aside from this, please don't go down the unhealthy route for getting thin. It's not the getting thin that matters, it's the getting healthy. If you want to lose weight, maybe join a gym or start running with some friends. There are apps you can download now that make running or walking more fun. I remember some people telling me about an interactive one that tells a story, and you run faster or slower depending on what's happening.

Now, I'm not sure what unhealthy way you're thinking of when you say the healthy way isn't working, but I can pretty much promise you they will bring more problems than they will success. You'll get ill, you'll be in pain, you'll be weak. You'll find socialising harder and whatever habit you're thinking of picking up will find a way to crawl into your head and impact your thoughts on a daily basis. The unhealthy way is called unhealthy for a reason. It wont make you thinner necessarily, and it definitely wont make you happy.

I hope this has helped a bit, and I really do wish you all the best. You're young and strong for having come this far, and so far you've got through every single one of your worst days. More will come, but in among them are some pretty great ones too, and they're worth fighting for.

Take care!


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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Re: to freaking bad - August 27th 2015, 03:40 PM

Thank you for the kind reply. I guess I needed someone to remind me of all that.

In SH i like the distraction it gives me and I like making myself bleed and seeing the blood flowing


Helping others sometimes makes it easier to feel good about yourself and help yourself.

So PM me if You want.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: to freaking bad - August 27th 2015, 04:50 PM

The distraction is the key part to target I think, because it's simply the distraction you're used to. There are plenty more out there to try! If you're a writer, maybe write how you feel into a diary, or even adapt it into some sort of fiction. Otherwise you could try drawing or going for a walk to clear your head, maybe watching your favourite movie or TV show. A lot of people find that music helps too because the lyrics might be particularly similar to your own feelings.

Don't give up! You can do this. Please feel free to let me know if you need anything. I'm always happy to help.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: to freaking bad - August 27th 2015, 11:33 PM

Truth is no one can stop you but you. But I have a feeling you want to stop these things which is why you posted in here. I know it's a hard fight and it wears you down and it gets tiring but you can beat all of this. Yes its hard work and its going to take time but believe in yourself. But like I said, you have to stop yourself and most importantly you have to want to get better and want to stop doing these things like self harming. I know we don't know each other but if you ever want a chat I'm here. I am a bit all over the place at the moment but I will reply back ASAP. Just know we're here for you when you're ready to start recovery and even until then, we're here for you too.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: to freaking bad - August 28th 2015, 02:25 AM

Thank you it's nice to know people are there for me.


Helping others sometimes makes it easier to feel good about yourself and help yourself.

So PM me if You want.
   
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Re: to freaking bad - August 28th 2015, 04:31 AM

You're right. You can do whatever you want with your body as long as it doesn't hard others or is illegal. We can't stop you. We can tell you how it's toxic to SH, or it's terrible or whatever but we can't stop you. [Edited.]

Last edited by cynefin; August 28th 2015 at 11:41 PM. Reason: Rudeness.
   
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Re: to freaking bad - August 28th 2015, 07:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheTameLion View Post
You're right. You can do whatever you want with your body as long as it doesn't hard others or is illegal. We can't stop you. We can tell you how it's toxic to SH, or it's terrible or whatever but we can't stop you. [Edited.]
Well, TeenHelp is a safe place for one to share their thoughts, feelings and get support on that. My thoughts are that she just wanted to share what was going on in her thoughts, and in her reply on the thread after Hollie's kind reply, she mentioned how she "needed someone to remind her of that." Maybe that was what she was looking for? A reminder that people care and to discourage her from continuing in unhealthy ways. Everyone needs kind words every once in awhile, you know?

Back to the thread: I'm sorry you feel like this. Hollie and Jessie gave some excellent advice so I don't have a whole lot to add without echoing what has already been said. Although, I just want to let you know that recovery is something you can achieve. And you know what? Even if you go a week self-harm free then relapse, it is still an accomplishment and something you should be proud of because you did not self-harm for one week. Think of it that way; not as full recovery and never self-harming ever again, but taking small steps by reducing how much you self-harm little by little and I imagine you'll find that you discover helpful distractions and coping skills along the way.

Sometimes sinking into unhealthy ways seems tempting especially when you feel so low and nothing else seems to be working, but that's not the answer and it will only hurt you more in the end. We're here for you with support so you don't have to go through this alone, but just try to be kind to yourself, okay? There are other ways to reach your goals in a healthy way. Just believe in yourself and know that you have the ability to reach these accomplishments; because you do.

Let me know if you need someone to talk to. You can PM me if you'd like. Take care and stay strong.

Last edited by cynefin; August 28th 2015 at 11:43 PM. Reason: Removing deleted content from previous post.
   
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