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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Angry Relapse - January 27th 2017, 09:53 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

my mom just found out that i cut 2-3 weeks ago she said that if she saw cuts again she would beat my arse so i didnt cut 1-2 weeks but i started gain today but on mt thigh's not wrist's also is it safe to use elmers glue-all on wounds
   
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Re: Relapse - January 27th 2017, 10:33 PM

Hi, Kahlie.

I'm sorry your mom threatened to beat you if you self-harm again. I wish she had offered you more support. Do you think it'd help to allow her to read articles about self-harm to help her better understand it? And understand it isn't as simple as stopping? Perhaps if she understood it better she'd take a different, more understanding approach.

I saw a post elsewhere where you mentioned you self-harm because you like the taste of blood, but that was only half the reason. Is it okay if I ask what the other reason(s) is? I understand if you aren't comfortable talking about it, but I wanted to reassure you that you can if you're comfortable doing so. We're more than happy to listen and try to help if we can, okay? I'm unsure of what else contributes to your self-harm alternatives, but I wanted to link you here to the self-harm alternatives list. There are tons of things to do when you're dealing with self-harm alternatives, and it offers alternatives for when you need a sensation to aid you in getting through urges.

Would a sour candy help you when you get the urge to taste blood? You could try a spicy piece of candy, such as cinnamon, or a sour piece and it could divert your attention from the urges. Chewing ice cubes is another way to do so. Not only can alternatives help, but another thing to remember is that maintaining healthy outlets is important. Self-harm can become a coping mechanism, and it's unhealthy, so having other ways to express yourself can help a lot. You can draw, paint, color, or write poems, stories, songs etc. Simply writing your thoughts and feelings in a journal and occupying yourself with hobbies you enjoy can help a lot.

There's a type of spray that hardens, kind of like glue made specially for holding wounds together in a similar way as stitches do. But Elmer's glue is not made for that reason, and may cause infection/further damage. I've heard of people using glue but only for very minor cuts. I recommend asking a doctor the best way to care for a wound to both aid healing and prevent infection. There's a thread regarding first aid information that you may find helpful; click here. Don't let that be an alternative to seeking medical attention in the event that you need medical attention.

You mentioned that your mom isn't very supportive, but is your dad? I'm wondering if you have anyone else in your life you trust to turn to such as a family friend, a friend, a teacher, school guidance counselor etc. Anyone you trust that could be a source of support could be great for you. You shouldn't have to go through this alone or have to deal with threats when really, you're just struggling a lot. You deserve that compassion and support so you don't feel the need to self-harm and can feel like you can do without, not the feeling where you want to but are scared to and feel like you have to hide it due to threats.

Choose recovery, you deserve it. You can do it because you are stronger than you know. And Kahlie? You aren't alone. Stay strong and feel free to PM me anytime.
   
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Re: Relapse - January 28th 2017, 09:15 PM

the other reason is because of school m parents are always on me and if i don't get good grades i get grounded till the next report card so it is kind of away to release the pain and I want to run away but im scared that i'll get killed because there was a murder 2-3 house down from mine. and i dont have a couniler bc im home schooled and im always so worked up i work till 10-11 every night and i dont even get weekend off unless i have copleted my work


I cant change your mind right now, kid, but i want you to know, if someone care's about you, you should give them a chance- especially if they've never had one before.

~Travis diaries season 2 episode 35
   
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Re: Relapse - January 28th 2017, 09:49 PM

I'm sorry to hear your parents are strict regarding homework. It sounds like you're under a lot of pressure and stress. Can you talk to your parents about how this homework load has been causing you a lot of stress? Perhaps your parents are so focused on encouraging you to get great grades and aren't seeing how it's affecting you emotionally.

Homeschooling can be lonely if you're isolated most of the time. Are there any homeschooling groups in your area where both the parents and students can socialize and get together? That may be beneficial for you to be able to get out and talk to other people that way you aren't always stuck at home with homework. Your parents may like the idea as well to be able to socialize with the parents of other kids.

I can understand wanting to run away since things aren't good at home, but that's not the best idea because it is dangerous to be out there alone. Think about your future; what do you want to do, Kahlie? When you finish school, you're in control of what you do next that'll be a step in crafting your future. Remember that even though what you're going through is really hard, it won't last forever because you've got your whole future ahead of you.

Everything's gonna be okay, and as of now you have support here, okay? Stay strong.
   
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Re: Relapse - January 29th 2017, 06:53 PM

Thanks for the help and there are no groups near by and my parents are threatening sending me to public school's and in the ones in my area id get jumped daily ect


I cant change your mind right now, kid, but i want you to know, if someone care's about you, you should give them a chance- especially if they've never had one before.

~Travis diaries season 2 episode 35
   
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Re: Relapse - January 29th 2017, 09:29 PM

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Originally Posted by Duhitzkahlie View Post
Thanks for the help and there are no groups near by and my parents are threatening sending me to public school's and in the ones in my area id get jumped daily ect
Anytime.

Those schools in your area do sound quite scary.. I hope you don't get sent to an unsafe public school. Is online schooling an option?
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relapse - January 30th 2017, 12:10 AM

actually im and doing homeschool and that is one of the reasons i SH


I cant change your mind right now, kid, but i want you to know, if someone care's about you, you should give them a chance- especially if they've never had one before.

~Travis diaries season 2 episode 35
   
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Re: Relapse - January 31st 2017, 08:24 PM

Does being home schooled make you feel lonely, thus making you feel like harming yourself? I agree in that it can be difficult sometimes when you're isolated.

If you don't have any home school groups around you and you don't feel comfortable going outside around your neighborhood, maybe you can make friends online somewhere such as here. This is a nice place to get support and to make new friends and I think a lot of people would enjoy getting to know you!


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relapse - February 1st 2017, 04:30 PM

i do have friends online but atm i cant talk to any1 of them because its on minecraft and its blocked till i get good grade which i cant deal with because..... yeah i just cant hvae any friend but i do have instagram which means i can talk to like 2 of my friends and thats it


I cant change your mind right now, kid, but i want you to know, if someone care's about you, you should give them a chance- especially if they've never had one before.

~Travis diaries season 2 episode 35
   
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Re: Relapse - February 1st 2017, 07:46 PM

What is considered a good grade to your parents? Maybe you can compromise with them. You could make some sort of an idea; you could do some work around the house in exchange for being allowed to talk to your friends for a while. Do you think you could ask your parents to help you with your school work? If not, you could look up tutorials on YouTube. Actually seeing the work done in a video could help you out.

It may be worth explaining to your parents that being unable to talk to your friends impacts your mental health, thus impacting your grades overall.

Have you talked to those two friends you are able to talk to as of lately? You could consider talking to them every so often so you don't feel as isolated. You can also make friends on here.


Articles & Resources Officer|Lead Moderator|Senior Newsletter Editor
The mountains are calling and I must go.
1941-2016

Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relapse - February 1st 2017, 08:45 PM

Yes i have talked to them recently but one is at a tattoo con so not able to talk and my pc has every thing blocked except for a few things and good grades are b's and a's and youtube is blocked but i do have my phone


I cant change your mind right now, kid, but i want you to know, if someone care's about you, you should give them a chance- especially if they've never had one before.

~Travis diaries season 2 episode 35

Last edited by Duhitzkahlie; February 2nd 2017 at 10:01 PM.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Angry Re: Relapse - February 2nd 2017, 10:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Duhitzkahlie View Post
my mom just found out that i cut 2-3 weeks ago she said that if she saw cuts again she would beat my arse so i didnt cut 1-2 weeks but i started gain today but on mt thigh's not wrist's also is it safe to use elmers glue-all on wounds
UP-DATE im about to take a test today and my mom says shes stressed oh she doesnt know ANYTHING abot being stressed ive been stressed since 1st grade she has NO idead ughhh i just need some damn help


I cant change your mind right now, kid, but i want you to know, if someone care's about you, you should give them a chance- especially if they've never had one before.

~Travis diaries season 2 episode 35
   
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Re: Relapse - February 3rd 2017, 02:57 AM

You said you have your phone; maybe you can use that to communicate with your friends for now. You could also look into downloading some calming apps, such as those with different sounds, meditation music, or guided imagery. Games could be a good distraction as well.

It can be frustrating when something like that happens. If you don't want to tell her how stressed you are, maybe you can write a note. Whether or not you give it to her is up to you but it could be a healthy release for you.


Articles & Resources Officer|Lead Moderator|Senior Newsletter Editor
The mountains are calling and I must go.
1941-2016

Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relapse - February 7th 2017, 10:46 PM

ANOTHER UPDATE~

i am soooo stressed atm i have a new razor thank irene i can now SH again but im going crazy with all this stress put on me they dont even know im stressed and with my mood swings. my mom took my phone away and blocked everything that isnt educational on my PC so now i dont have any communication just help me plz :reallymad:


I cant change your mind right now, kid, but i want you to know, if someone care's about you, you should give them a chance- especially if they've never had one before.

~Travis diaries season 2 episode 35

Last edited by Duhitzkahlie; February 9th 2017 at 12:19 AM.
   
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Re: Relapse - February 8th 2017, 01:43 PM

I know disposing of self-harm tools can be incredibly difficult, so I wouldn't ask you to do that. Can you hide your tool, though? Maybe you can put it up high in your closet so you can't reach it or you can put it in another room. That way you'll have to put more effort into getting it before you can get to a point where you can harm yourself. Some people really benefit from keeping their tools elsewhere.

Maybe you aren't able to communicate in the ways that you'd like to, but you still do have a few ways to communicate. You can communicate and make friends with people here on the site. Or, you can communicate with your parents and let them know that you're feeling stressed out because you can't talk to your friends.

I know being unable to talk to your friends isn't ideal, but you can keep yourself busy in other ways. You can focus on school, help around the house, take walks, pursue current hobbies or make new ones, and the list goes on.


Articles & Resources Officer|Lead Moderator|Senior Newsletter Editor
The mountains are calling and I must go.
1941-2016

Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
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