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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ROBERT L Offline
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i dont know what to do anymore - February 8th 2017, 12:46 PM

my entire life is depressing and i do nothing but relapse and harm myself. ive tried so much stuff but it dont work. any suggestions or anything?
   
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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 8th 2017, 01:49 PM

Welcome to TH, Robert.

If you feel comfortable, could you give us a little more information about how you're struggling? For instance, what in your life is making you feel low, and what have you tried to help with your self-harm? We might be able to help you a little more if you give information; we could brainstorm ideas that you haven't tried yet.


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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 8th 2017, 03:39 PM

Hey Robert,
I agree with Cassie maybe you could give us a little more info.

I am really sorry that you are struggling with depression and self-harm. I know how hard it is to deal with self-harm. I have been doing it since I was five years old.

I think the best way to stop self-harming is to find another way to get your feelings out. I would recommended maybe find a sport or hobby to do when you feel the urge to SH.I myself do art or write poems. I also use some of the alternatives that are on teenhelp.which is THIS link. I recommend that you check out that list. There is so many options to choose from. I always recommend that people print out the list and try each alternative and cross out the ones that don't work and highlight or circle the ones that work and that you would use in the future. Then type up that list and print it out an carry it with you and have it a lot of different place. Like keep one in your wallet, you wall in the bedroom.

Without more information I can't really help all that much. But I hope this helped.
If you ever need to talk, vent, or just want a friend you can PM/VM me anytime.

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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 8th 2017, 05:39 PM

my family hinks i cut for attention...im bullied sometimes...when i help others i get depressed...random moments i get depressed...give me more time to think of other reasons if any

go to the adolescentselfinjuryfoundation website...then on the left when you scroll down you'll see 146 things to do besides self-harm...click on it and thats what ive been trying but nothing is working because my family gets in the way of most

Last edited by ROBERT L; February 8th 2017 at 05:55 PM.
   
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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 9th 2017, 05:13 PM

i think im making an improvement i think...i grabbed a blade 3 times but i couldn't cut for some reason...its like i have a mental block in my mind preventing me from cutting.
   
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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 9th 2017, 05:57 PM

That is really great that you have resisted the urge to use the blade. That is an amazing accomplishment.
Since you say the list that you are working from doesn't help maybe you can take a look at the link I gave you and maybe check some of those out. Because a lot of them can be done in your room so you can be by yourself and hopefully not be bothered.



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Just walk beside me and be my friend"
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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 9th 2017, 06:15 PM

i will use it and im trying to get better but its hard still
   
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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 10th 2017, 01:01 PM

I agree with what has been said. Doing some self-harm alternatives in your room and making that your safe place can help. That way, you can focus on yourself and your health with minimal interruptions. That list is helpful but sometimes it is hard to think of alternatives in the moment; maybe you can write some down to refer to. It can be hard to find alternatives that work for you but don't get discouraged. Keep trying them out.

You said your family thinks you cut for attention and that is unfortunate. Would you feel comfortable talking to them and explaining the reasons why you self-harm? If not, you would write a note or even show them some informative websites so they can do the research for themselves. Know that wanting attention is a human need, so even if you ever do want attention, there's no shame in that even though a lot of people tend to think there is.

Have you talked to someone about being bullied? Maybe a teacher, friend, or someone else at the school. The school counselor may be able to give you some coping skills. Just know that the people are bullying you probably have some issues of their own, though that does not make their behaviors okay. The way they treat you says more about their character than anything else.

You mentioned feeling depressed when you help people and that's normal. It can be hard sometimes because by helping people, you're exposed to more sadness and seeing people struggling can make you feel for them. It's okay to take a step back from that every once in a while. You have to take care of yourself before you can help other people.

You're right; all of this is hard but take it one step at a time. Keep trying.


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The mountains are calling and I must go.
1941-2016

Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 10th 2017, 03:10 PM

i dont got a room of my own...i sleep in the dinning room under a table because its 2 families living in the house and theres not enough space. ive told them why i do it and they don't believe me. i don't get bullied much but when it does i do tell but it still stays in my mind and hurts me. i will keep trying though.
   
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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 11th 2017, 01:51 PM

Since you don't have your own room, could you try to make a safe place of your own somewhere else? It doesn't have to be in the house. It can be outside or anywhere you feel comfortable. I used to go hiking and one of my safe places was a waterfall I would encounter. Since you said your family bothers you sometimes, maybe you could take a walk or volunteer so you're not home as often as you usually are.

I am sorry to hear you've told them why you self-harm and they don't believe you. Unfortunately, self-harm has a negative stigma attached to it. Your family doesn't have to believe you though; you know the truth and your family can't take that away from you. No one can take that away from you.

It is hard when bullying lingers in your mind. Maybe you can try some self-esteem exercises to help fill your mind with more positive things. For instance, you could talk back to the negative things people have said. Write them down on one side of the paper, then write back a positive, logical response on the other side.

You can do this!




Articles & Resources Officer|Lead Moderator|Senior Newsletter Editor
The mountains are calling and I must go.
1941-2016

Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 13th 2017, 11:32 AM

i did that yesterday and i resisted temptation to self-harm cassado it was hard but i did it
   
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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 13th 2017, 06:28 PM

Hey

Thank you for reaching out to us here. You don't deserve to go through this alone.

I think a lot of people think the struggling phase when a person self harms is the hardest part and for me personally it can be in terms of my emotions but I feel like when I am trying not to self harm and trying to beat the urges, that is the hardest part because it takes my all and everything not to do it and it mentally and physically exhausts me. I can certainly relate to you trying stop hurting yourself and in all honestly I think you are doing really well but I know that doesn't make it any easier at the moment for you.

I want to encourage you to keep using distractions and techniques. In the self harm forum we have a list of alternatives to self harm too which may be worth you taking a look at. Truth is there are hundreds and hundreds of things that we can use to distract etc so it is going to take time and trial and error to find things that help so its important that even when you come across something that doesn't help you, that you keep on trying new and different things. Ultimately, as long as your trying something and you are busy, then you are not engaging in self harm. But don't give up on everything when you find things that don't work. There will be things out there that help you too.

I am sorry that the support at home isn't very helpful or productive. I am wondering whether there is anyone else you can go to, to talk to about how you feel and what is going on for you right now. Maybe a different family member, a friend, a school counsellor or nurse, a teacher, a pastoral support officer or even your GP/Doctor. I know reaching out for help and talking about it can be really hard but you honestly do not deserve to go through this alone. You deserve the support from others and many of these people will want to help you through this because they DO care.

Do you have any idea or thoughts about what has triggered the low moods and the urges to self harm? If you do know and want to talk about it then please know we are here to listen and try and help you through what ever it is.

I am concerned that you have stated you are sleeping in the dining room on the floor under a table. I know you haven't said too much about this but it does concern me that this is your place to sleep. If you want to expand on this further, please know we're here to listen and we won't ever judge but we will just try to help.

Remember you are never alone. We are always here for you no matter what and all we want to do is help you get through this so never ever, struggle in silence.

Hope and wishes,
Jessie


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Re: i dont know what to do anymore - February 14th 2017, 03:53 PM

i can talk to my friends at school and they're going through same thing so we have an understanding...triggers are music sometimes, stupid people, bullies, and just random moments of depression hitting without warning...and thx jessie
   
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