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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Superwoman_ Offline
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I don't care - April 6th 2017, 09:24 AM

Not quite sure why I'm making this thread, but here goes anyway.

So I recently made a thread talking about how it was all too difficult, and in that I mentioned that if I'm not actively trying to stop then I'm just self harming several times a day. Well since making that thread I have tried alternatives, I've tried to find reasons to care about what happens to me, but after it all I have gone back to just not actively trying to stop. It was like I tried so hard to stop and then as soon as I do it again, I'm doing it more and worse. I've had people try and explain why they care what I do to myself, but I don't see why I should care what I do. I mean at this point I don't think I would care if I accidentally hit something anymore, I've just given up caring. I know I should care and I've tried caring, but I just don't.

Actually, recently one of my friends got me to throw out all my blades, but in the end I just managed to find more and somehow ended up with more than I threw out. The ones I ordered arrived with the postman, but because I didn't answer the door they're being held at the post office and I'm just not getting them because I don't think I need more at this point.

Basically I just want to know why people care about what I do to myself, and why I should care. I just don't get it. It's not like it really affects them because they aren't the ones hurting themselves. Shouldn't it be up to me what I do?

Sorry for making another thread and bothering you all, I think I just wanted to try and figure things out.
   
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Re: I don't care - April 6th 2017, 01:55 PM

You're not bothering us.

It's hard to care about yourself but it seems like you tried really hard to do that and that's awesome. Maybe if you can't care about yourself in one way, you can try another. For instance, you can try self-care or self-soothe activities. You can take a warm bath, read a book, take a walk, or do something that makes you happy.

Other people care about you for a variety of reasons. For instance, I care about you and many other people on here; that is one of the reasons I volunteer here. I don't like to see people in pain and I like to be supportive when I can.

Have you asked why other people in your life care about you? Like a family member or a friend? Maybe they can get specific to help you out more. But the gist is that what you do does not only hurt you. Your actions impact other people. For example, you said you don't care if you hit something when you cut. Should you hit something, other people will get upset as well. Another example could be suicide; when someone kills themselves, they leave many hurt and confused people behind.

I'm not saying it's all about other people, because it isn't, but it's good to know that your actions do impact other people. What you do to yourself is definitely up to you but other people do care about what you're going through.

Do you know if you're ready to stop self-harm? What I mean is, were you trying alternatives because you wanted to stop self-harm or was there another reason? It can be really hard to use alternatives and self-care techniques if you aren't in the ready mindset. There is nothing wrong with that; people become ready in their own time. But that is something to consider. You reminded me of a self-harm article that mentions this.


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Re: I don't care - April 7th 2017, 12:03 AM

Thanks Cassie,

I did ask one of my friends why they cared but it didn't really clarify anything, and I get why suicide would affect other people but in this instance I just don't get it.

I wasn't trying to stop for me, I was trying to stop for that friend I keep talking about. He said it affected him so I wanted to at least try and stop but because I don't want to stop for me it was quite hard to do that. Probably why I've just given up honestly. Thanks for the link to the article though, definitely was helpful.
   
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Re: I don't care - April 7th 2017, 12:21 AM

That makes sense. Stopping for other people or for reasons other than yourself makes it very difficult to stop. You may feel ready to stop in time; I think everyone has to go at their own pace with this. TeenHelp will be here for you through each step of the way.


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The mountains are calling and I must go.
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Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
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Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
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