First time
 

ok. so I've never really self harmed to any extend before, though i have been close to in the past. But today I just gave in and did it. And I'm ashamed to say it felt so good and i got scared so ran from my house but i ended up going back and I did it again. I drew quite a bit of blood and it burns like hell but it feels good! :s

And the thing is, yesterday was an awesome day as I spent it with my best friends and bf and it was soooo good. But my stupid f**king step dad had to go and ruin it. He keeps yelling at me and calling me a liar and having a go at me for every little thing. My brothers are ignoring me and my mum is in hospital with my lil sis. I just don't know what to do with myself and all my thoughts go back to the razor upstairs! :s I'm sorry, I don't know if this is triggering or what just a bit of a rant :s

Re: First time
 

Hi Erika,

Im really sorry that you felt so bad you started self harming, it must have been really hard for you I know. I really would advise you though to try and stop right now because it will be easier since you have only just started. After a while it just gets harder and harder and more addictive, I wish I had stopped when I was at the same stage as you are now. I know it can feel good, Im not denying that, but there are other better ways of doing it. Im sure there are other things that make you feel good? How about a favourite TV programme/DVD or doing some sports or listening to music or phoning a friend? You might want to check out this thread [click here] as it gives lots of good alternatives to self harming. Maybe it would help you to talk to your boyfriend and/or your friends about this as they can help you and it can really help to have some support. Your step dad really shouldn't be shouting at you over everything either, so it might be a good idea to tell somebody about that so they can help you.

PM me if you want
Jen

Re: First time
 

Hey Erika,

The first time self-harming isn't the best feeling. I do think though that you seem aware of it, and that you can prevent this from occuring more. Definitely check out the good alternatives list to self-harming (I'm sure you can find something that will help you out). Something that I feel helps is to take deep breathes, and practice breathing in with your stomach. It does help you feel more relaxed, which should help with the need to self-harm.

I agree with Jenn - you should talk to people about this. It can only help how you are feeling so that you don't feel that you are hiding anything or alone. Perhaps you could try seeing a counselor? I think it would help in finding coping methods to help deal with things such as your dad. I would advise trying to avoid your dad if you feel that you can't talk to him, or he can't change his attitude towards you.

I hope that everything does get better. PM me if you do want you talk :]

Re: First time
 

hey yea i know it burns like hell the 1st time if i may ask how deep did you cut.

Re: First time
 

I disagree, she shouldn't go on. She should try and stop because if she does keep doing it, and tries to stop later, it is SO hard. She should try and find other ways of coping, before she begins to rely on cutting so she can cope.

Re: First time
 

I also think that you shouldn't go on with this. Even though this is the beginning. If you don't stop now, It will be very hard to stop in the future. I know from experience. Try alternatives like writing on yourself in red pen or using ice to feel the pain. That's is what works best for me. About your step father, try talking to him about how you feel. Parents (and step parents) can be extremely annoying when they want to control your whole life. Tell him you need some space and what you need him for. Hope this helps!

pm me anytime

~Alessa

Re: First time
 

Encouraging self harm should never be acceptable. Self Harm is a serious issue that is extremely hard to deal with and as a cutter you should know this. Please don't encourage others to harm themselves. I'm encouraging the bothe of you to try your best to recover from this habit by stopping.

When I first self harmed I was ashamed too, so I understand. But you have to remember that self-harming and cutting isn't going to stop your step dad from yelling. You don't have to rely on this. Please dont. You can get through life without self harm. I promise you that. Stop now, you have the strength to.

Take care of yourself, I know you can do this,
-Christina

Re: First time
 

although i am a cutter. and i know how good it felt the first time. i still agree that you shouldn't go on.

Re: First time
 

Hey Hun,

I'm sorry to hear things haven't been going well for you. Resorting to self harm though won't make things get better hun. I know things aren't going well for you right now babe but please try to quit now before it becomes more difficult for you. The people above me have suggested the alternatives thread already but I advise you to check it out also. The list is quite long and I"m sure you'll be able to find a disctraction that will help you out :).

Also, In my opinion I'd advise you to talk to someone about this all. Talking to people and getting this off your chest is a step in the right direction. Keeping things inside and self harming won't help any hun. Personally I've found that being able to talk to people around me about how I'm feeling and having people around me for support was the greatest help.

*huggle* take care hun <3
I'm rooting for you.

If you ever need anything feel free to message me babe. =)

Re: First time
 

Agreed with Amystery.
Self-harm can become an addictive habit that is very difficult to overcome;
But there are alot of people, including myself, that are willing to help you amongst this site;
So please don't hesitate to pm me anytime.
It's been mentioned, but have you checked out the Alternative Thread?
There are a million things that are more deserving of your time then Self-Harm.
Hope you feel better.
We're all wishing the best for you.
[:

Re: First time
 

Hey Erika :)

Self-harm is a new experience for you and so I would really like to recommend that you try and stop self-harming as soon as you can. It is an addictive thing and it could soon turn into a bad habit. I understand that you say that it felt good but it isn't healthy for you and is, in effect, damaging your body. As it's damaging your body, I'd suggest that you look for a safer alternative (you could always check out the alternatives list for some ideas) - it may feel good now, but if you hurt yourself badly, would it be worth it? There are so many safe alternatives, so please check them out.

You shouldn't have to inflict harm upon yourself in order to deal with things or feel good, Erika. I'm glad that you had a really good day with your friends. Do you think that perhaps you could talk to one of your friends when you feel the urge to self harm or when you're feeling bad? It's good that you're socialising and still going out and having fun. It's also good to have a 'rant' to people sometimes and I'd like to encourage you to talk about how you're feeling with people as it's good to have some support and someone you can turn to.

Take care.

Re: First time
 

sory guys i did not type that my brother did he said hes go to show me a leson that iam cuting so please forgive me.and yea do not go on you must stop,it wil only get hader

Re: First time
 

i know how you feel. ive selfed harmed but the scars have gone but i really want to do it but i share a room with my twin so i cant its really really fustrating.