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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Urges =( - September 12th 2009, 02:04 PM

I made it through the entire summer holiday without wanting to hurt myself at all. Now I'm back at school qand I'm getting urges several imes a day. So far I've not given in to them - I don't want to loose the progress I've made (almost two months s.h. free). I guess what I'm asking is if anyone knows of any ways I can get rid of s.h. urges during lessons - going and drawing a nice pretty picture, for example, wouldn't work, as I wouldn't be able to do it. Also, does anyone else find that their s.h. urges are linked to something like school or work?


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Re: Urges =( - September 12th 2009, 02:44 PM

I know how you feel, it seems like my urges got worse in the school year too. Ummmm... honestly, i don't know. Sometimes, I just write on the side of my paper, so I can get out my feelings. I do it when nobody else is looking. Then, I cross it out or erase it. I don't know if that helped. Sorry if it didn't!
   
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Re: Urges =( - September 12th 2009, 02:54 PM

I've never self harmed so I might not be too helpful with this topic, but I do get urges to be destructive in some way when I'm angry/frustrated/stressed etc. I do find that they're related to college, so in your case it's understandable if school is stressing you out. Different things work for different people. You need to find a hobby to distract yourself, something that relaxes you and takes your mind off whatever gives you the urge. How about getting lost in a good book? Releasing the urge by writing about it, or simply having a hot bath after school, putting your homework aside and just chilling out for a while?
I'm sorry I don't know your entire situation...I'm guessing it's pressure from school, being in the deeper end of the pool if you get me. It's totally normal to feel frustrated by it. Just try not to let the stress hurt you. Take it easy and remember you'll be OK. xx




   
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Re: Urges =( - September 12th 2009, 03:19 PM

I can't read a book in the middle of drama It's really annoying.


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Re: Urges =( - September 12th 2009, 04:35 PM

Hey Jessy,

congratulations on making it through the entire summer holiday without harming yourself! That is such an amazing achievement and you should be so very proud of yourself!

You have spent so long without self-harming and I'm sure that you can stay self-harm free too, you have been very strong. Many people do find school a stressful place to be, do you know exactly why you are getting triggered at school? Is there something that makes your urges worse? It may be worth it to try and identify those things and see if you can do something about your triggers rather than tackling the self harm as a first thing - "prevention is better than cure" - if you can prevent getting triggered, it'll be easier than having to deal with urges.
Seeing as you're not able to distract yourself during school lessons then perhaps you could try and refocus on the task you've been given, knowing that you won't be able to harm yourself in those lessons. Perhaps it's good that you're not able to do anything apart from work during your lessons as it does mean that you can't hurt yourself and those urges should fade. If after your lesson the urges are still there then perhaps then you can turn to your alternatives and you can draw a picture or whatever else you have found that has helped you.
If you have a favourite teacher/form teacher/guidance counsellor that you're comfortable talking to then you may also want to bring up the issue with them, you don't even have to mention your self-harm if you're not quite ready to do that, but telling them that you're having a hard time concentrating may be a good idea.

Take care.
   
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Re: Urges =( - September 12th 2009, 04:39 PM

I do find that my urges get worse in school and term time. I find the elasic band alternitive works ( as long as that isnt a form of SH for u) Just ping it under the table or ask to go out the classroom for a couple of minutes where you can take some deep breaths and try to compose yourself.
Well done for lasting so long.
Good luck


"Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

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Re: Urges =( - September 12th 2009, 09:40 PM

It's mainly a feeling of rejection that I find triggers urges. Like in drama, we were doing pieces to represent love, which got me thinking aobut Kate, and every time I think about her, it hurts. And then I want to hurt myself. I don't think I'm going to give into them any time soon, but I'd like to find a way to make them go away =(


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Re: Urges =( - September 12th 2009, 10:38 PM

This one works for me, everytime i feel an urge, i draw a tally mark on the inside of my wrist, it reminds me what is at stake, and helps me relax. Hope it helps, Hurting yourself is never the answer. I learnt that the hard way.
Good luck, x


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Re: Urges =( - September 12th 2009, 10:57 PM

I know how you feel (I realise that is unhelpful...sorry). I have been free for the whole summer, and I did get some urges but mainly not and not strong. Now after just one week back at school I am already really wanting to do something again...I know I shouldn't but i just do, and it sucks. I don't want it to get worse when I'm at school, but it just does. Everytime I get an urge, I try to think of something nice. Often I find something to fiddle with, and sometimes get a pen and scribble on something - anything - i can. Sometimes I go and write something (usually whilst sitting in the toilets) I talk to myself, talking through it also. I don't know how long it will last, but I have made it the whole summer and I don't want to give up now, so you shouldn't either, you're stronger than you realise. PM me anytime xxxx
   
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Re: Urges =( - September 13th 2009, 01:16 PM

I'll try the tally mark thing =) thanks for the suggestions =)


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Re: Urges =( - September 13th 2009, 07:24 PM

Hey there,

I think the fact that you have gone so long without self harm is great and you deserve a big pat on the back or something. And, I think the fact that you want to continue to fight the urges is wonderful as well. You can make it through them.

Now, the best advice I can give you is to go through the list of alternatives ( http://forums.teenhelp.org/f12-self-...ves-self-harm/) and find the ones that would work best for you while you are in class. Because, an alternative that works for one person might not work for you.

However, one thing you need to take into consideration is that sometimes alternatives seem as if they do not work but that is because your body likes the cutting so it will rebel against anything new. But, with time it will learn to like the alternatives.

One alternative that worked for me when I was in school was doodling. I don't know if you can do that in your drama class but if you can maybe you could give it a try?

Best of luck and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: Urges =( - September 14th 2009, 06:58 AM

I usually take that time to excuse myself to the restroom. Sometimes I'll even talk to the teacher after class and explain that I'm getting "emotionally upset" and would like to be able to step out of the room for a moment. As long as you don't take advantage of that, usually the teachers are pretty cool.

Then, step out of the classroom, take a deep breath, and think about if it'd be worth it. Calm your mind down.

Good luck!
Maria.



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Re: Urges =( - September 18th 2009, 02:49 PM

I'm the same way. I get triggered so many times at school and it's hard to resist. What I did is called the butterfly trick. Draw a butterfly where u wanna cut. It only live freely when u don't cut. If u cut, wash the butterfly off cuz it died. U don't wannakill the butterfly do ya? Umm... Abbout the picture doodling. Draw what u are good at drawing! No one can judge u! I trace my cut hand a doodle a picture or pattern inside. Very distracting! Try it! Mine have come out great and yours will come out even better! Pm me if u need some1 to talk to!
   
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Re: Urges =( - September 28th 2009, 10:17 PM

whenever you get an urge, go for a walk or take a nap. keep up the amazning work you've gotten through! think of that when you get an urge! cutting is an addiction, and no matter where you cut or how deep its still cutting. if you are ever in a class and want to cut, dont. just dont! keep up the great work and setting goals for yourself, one week. two weeks. etc. you'll be cut free soon!! pm me if you need to talk!
<3 always,
Cherry
   
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