Triggering: Relapsed :(.... and sisters making it worse

[...............]

Hey
For A long time me and my sister havent gotten on that well . She aways starts arguements with both of my parents and my dad has a really short temper so things escalated really fast, and it always ended with my mum in tears and me being used as a punching bag by my sister and my dad. and since september 2009 i didnt have to worry about it that much because she started university and she moved like 3 hours away so it wass just me and my parents living together and even though my cutting was still going on i wasnt as dependant on it any more. I Still had a few incidents with my dad but unlike my sister i could walk away before things got totally out of hand.
Now my sisterr has come back for 3 months, however within the first 2 days there was a huge arguement between my sister and my parents that was bigger than any other we have had before. Of course like usual it ended with me covered in bruises over my arms and legs and my dad hitting me in the face and after her saying that She hates all of us and regrets ever coming back home. by the end of the night my sister forced my parents to take her to the train station. while they took her was when i relapsed after 3 and 1/2 weeks clean i cut again. i was so proud of my self before she came back because i could look at my arms and unlike usual there were just scars and no healing cuts or scabs. Then after that i heard the car pull up outside , and this might make me sound like a bad person but i was feeling happy that she wasnt going to be there anymore , but as soon as i looked outside again she was getting out of the car. it settled a little after that because my dad went to bed but i had to sit down stairs with my mum in tears while my sisters tries to make out its my mothers fault for her being this way. I dont think i can cope with her much longer it used to be bad when she came home for just 1 week but for 3 months.. its too much to even process . And im scared because i know that any day now its going to kick off again and theres only so much one 17 year old can take i just need some advice on how to cope in a situation like mine . Replys would be much appreciated and sorry for boring you all with all this writeing lol

Love From Emily xxx

[*Jen*]

Hey Emily,

I am sorry that you have had to go through this. It is a really difficult situation to be in and you don't deserve to be hurt by anyone. 3 and a half weeks without self harm is fantastic and right now you have just had a slight blip. I think the best thing you can do when these arguments arise is to walk away and not get involved. That way you won't be left hurt and feeling the way you feel.

3 months must seem like forever right now but hopefully she won't be there all the time so you will get some peace. Also perhaps you spending some time out with friends might help you to get away from the situation.

Stay strong.

[DarkSeph]

Covered in bruises and your dad hitting you in the face is rather worrying to be honest. You should really consider reporting that or talking to someone about it, you really don't deserve that at all.

[actingpassion123]

is there anyone that you can talk to about this? friends, a teacher, a counselor? they could really help you get out of this situation. remember that you don't deserve to be physically or verbally abused.
until you talk to someone, i would really try to stay out of the fights. i know it's hard to, but i've learned from experience that you just need to stay completely uninvolved when a sibling is fighting with a parent, b/c sometimes that's the only way for you to remain safe and healthy.
if it's hard to separate yourself in your house when these fights occur, go to a friends house. your main priority is your safety and wellbeing!

congratulations on three and a half weeks with no self-harm. that's a huge accomplishment. try not to get discouraged about a relapse, because it doesn't mean you have to start over. stay strong!

and if three months sounds horrendous, just try taking it one day at a time. even one hour at a time if you need to. by separating the time into smaller chunks, it makes it a lot less stressful.

hope everything starts to get better for you! keep talking about it