this is kinda weird

[Star Crow]

I'm feeling really awful right now. Maybe it's finals coming up but the last three weeks have been torchure. I just get anxious for no reason at all especially when I'm doing homework and I want to cut to make it go away but I can't because then I'll get too tired to do my homework and it's been really hot out and i like wearing shorts. Also I'm a lifeguard and if my boss sees my cuts/ scars I'm not sure how she'll react.

Lately I've been having all these nightmares too and then even when I don't have nightmares I wake up scared for no reason. I really hate this. I hope it will go away once school ends. Also my emotions are really sporatic. a minute ago I was really upset and now I'm fine. Does this happen to anyone else?

[Soliloquy]

Yes! Stress from school definitely plays a large role in my depression and self-harm. I've found that when things start getting really bad, talking to my counselor helps a great deal. Do you have an assigned guidance counselor at your school that you could talk to? He or she may be able to help you manage the stress. If nothing else, getting it all off your chest can be a great relief. Trust me, he or she will not think you're crazy at all; it is his or her job to help you.

You say you've been having nightmares. What are they about, if you don't mind me asking? Are they a flashback to a traumatic part of your life? I really encourage you to talk to someone about this; it sounds like it is really distressing you.

[Star Crow]

Unfortunately I can't talk to my counselor because he would tell my parents. Also my relationship with him is somewhat strained because he did find out that I cut and had to call me down to talk to me about it. He said many things I didn't agree with and some things completely insensetive. I really don't like talking to him anymore. I am thinking about finding another counselor I could just talk to though.

The most reacent one was my best friend was going to die and I couldn't do anything about it and I was sobbing the entire dream. Usually I don't feel emotion in my dreams,but this time I did and it was completely overwhelming

[annonymousx3]

Trust me, i think everyone has gone through something similiar like this. I have been through the same thing. Honestly, if you cant talk to a counseler, or parent, I'm here. To clear your head, go for a walk, take a bath. Think about things that matter to you. Talk to your bestfriend about the dreams you've been having. Maybe he/she can help and talk to you. And the situation with your cuts & scars is nothing to be ashamed of. If your truely embarassed about it, make an excuse for it. If you need anything else, please, private message me.
Best of Luck,
Annonymousx3

[Soliloquy]

I'm sorry to hear that your counselor has not been supportive of you. I think finding another one to talk to is a very good idea. In the meantime, do you have anyone you could speak to? A friend or teacher?

[MadPoet]

Hi there Andy.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with anxiety lately. Anxiety is one of the many reasons that people often feel the need to self harm, so you're definitely not the only one who faces self harm urges due to problems with anxiety. School, I've found, is one of the main sources of anxiety for a lot of people. The things that are most important to us will almost always cause anxiety at least sometime in our lives. Anxiety has close ties with depression, so if you have been feeling overwhelmingly sad as well, then this is probably due to the anxiety you are suffering from. Fortunately, though, anxiety is quite possible to overcome, even if you are fighting it on your own.

Firstly, you need to make sure that you have scheduled "me time" throughout your day. A lot of times we keep our schedules jam packed, especially when it comes to school. You might have a lot of things that need to get done throughout the day, but don't let that take away from the fact that you need to stop and take care of yourself. Have time to relax for a couple hours during the day. Time to have fun, to do things that you enjoy. This will help get rid of some of the anxiety you are feeling, and will help you to be more prepared to deal with the anxiety when it arises.

You also need to make sure you are taking care of your body. This means eating healthily, exercising, sleeping well, etc. You ALWAYS need to have the time to take care of yourself, because you are the most important thing in your life. School, and everything else, should come in second, not first, to your health and mental well being.

A lot of times, stress can cause nightmares. I think that once you tackle the problem of your stress, then your nightmares may stop occurring as well. Here's some information I found on preventing nightmares: (http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders...s-busting-tips)

Anxiety and stress may be the causes of recurrent nightmares. Here are two strategies that therapists use to help people relax.
Challenge Negative Thoughts

Ask yourself: Is this a productive thought? Is it helping me? If it's just a negative thought you're rehashing, then you must be able to say to that thought: 'Stop!'
Learn to Relax

Do yoga, meditation, or get some exercise to relax. Exercise is a terrific outlet for anxiety. Taking some slow, deep breaths may also be helpful for calming your anxiety.

If your anxiety does not improve after a few weeks, talk to your doctor. You may have an underlying medical problem causing you to feel this way.

You might also want to check out the alternatives/distractions to self harm sticky: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/
I hope that everything improves soon! Good luck, and take care.

[Star Crow]

me time has been hard to come by lately. I'll have plenty of it in 9 days actually. I've been trying to find time to write and read and do whatever, but school is really piling on, and on top of my job, and tutoring and then activites I actualy like such as my guitar lesson and soccer practice I'm swamped. I know if I get through these nine days I'll be fine though.

I'll definitly try some meditation.