Triggering: I relapsed and now I can't stop.

[beside-you]

I've been a cutter since I was 10 years old, so that's six years now. I've been self harming since I was 6 starting with picking scabs, biting and hitting. Nothing seriously concerning for anyone watching, but it escalated into scratching and cutting.
I've been trying to stop since I was 13 and I've done quite well, there have been relapses but I've always managed to get back up and stop again. Not this time.
I cut again the day before remembrance day (November 11) for the first time in about a month. I don't even know what I did it, but since then I've been cutting every time I feel the urge. I've cut my legs up, my feet, a few on my arm. Whatever I can get at with my razor.
I feel out of control, and I'm so lonely. I feel entirely unloved - probably because I am. There is no one around here who cares about me. My own mother wishes I would go away. My brother wants me dead - actually, he wants to kill me himself. My father's never around, which makes sense because he doesn't live with us, but still. Nobody's here for me. I have no friends because I have social anxiety, depression, anxiety, BDD and EDNO oh, and they don't know it, but I'm a cutter.
I don't know where to turn. I can't stop. I keep cutting and cutting now that I've started again.
What can I do?
What's worked for you guys in the past? How have you managed to keep yourself from cutting?

Thank you.

[Miserable At Best.]

hey leah im sorry to hear that you started cutting again...i recently relapsed myself i was good for 2 whole years and then when things with my parents got bad again i started back up ive been good for about 6 days now. I honestly dont kno how i lasted 2 years without it bt idk i just found other things to occupy my time i took up reading like i always have a book with me wherever i go. It helps me to get lost in the stories and emotions of the characters it enables me to forget what im feeling and by the time im done reading for a wile the urge to cut has subsided i just dont feel like doing it anymore. I also always have my ipod with me at all times the music helps to mellow me out to the point where im calm nd am able to think rationally and not cut myself.. I hope i have been of some help and kno that i am here for you if you ever need someone to talk to just send me a message

[Agoraphobia♥]

I stopped 2 months ago, and I would read or remember that even if I don't know who I'm hurting someone other than myself by doing this. I'm worrying many people that care for me whether they say they do or not, and reading would take me into a whole new world where the problems weren't mine and they were fictional.

[MaroonLove]

Its true that many people are hurt when you cut yourself but first remember how it it hurting you. Work on yourself before trying to please others.

[beside-you]

I know that it hurts other people, which is why I don't go around telling people about it.
Also, I've heard that reading helps a lot of people, but quite often the material I read ends up being triggering. I wish I had a way to know about that before I start reading these things, because it's a problem.

[srm]

I turned to God. I know not everyone believes in Him, and its sad... but once you admit that there is no way you can stop on your own... and when I say stop, I mean never again do it... because it does come in cycles, and you give it to God and let him take control over what you cannot control, there is peace!


“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

“Come now, let’s settle this," says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool." Isaiah 1:18

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:38-39.