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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
*MusicIsMyLife* Offline
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Name: Rebecca
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Unhappy I am not doing okay...... - October 13th 2011, 01:41 AM

I am really not doing so well. I don't know what to do anymore except give up. There is alot of things that are going on. I am being bullied by my friends, I am having family issues and I want to give up.

First of all, my friends are bullying me to the point where I can't handle it anymore. They are calling me really hurtful and mean names. They say that everyone hates me and that no one wants me here anymore. They are also threatening me by saying that if I tell anyone what they are doing then they will hurt me. The names that they are calling me are stupid, ugly, a loser, a loner, fat, worthless, and a FAILURE!! I think I am all of these things.

Second of all, my parents and my siblings aren't treating me very nice either. My parents hate me and they hit me. They always yell at me for no reason. If one of my siblings do something they say I did it so they of course believe them. I do have an older sister but she doesn't live at home anymore. My parents don't love me and they always say that they wish they never had me. They always say everything that happens is all my fault when I didn't do anything.

Third of all, I am feeling many different emotions. I am feeling sad, lonely, unloved, worthless, and like a FAILURE. I can't do anything right so I fail at everything. I feeling like crying.

I can't handle any of this anymore. It is all getting really stressful and to the point where I can't take it anymore. I think that if I hurt myself then all the pain that I am feeling will go away and then everyone will be happy and get what they wanted. No one cares about me and I am so lonely. I can't handle any of this. Cutting is my only option right now. I think it's the best thing I can do at this time. I am in a lot of pain and cutting will help all the pain go away.

Everything is all my fault since I am a really big FAILURE!! I also think I am ugly, stupid, fat and a loser. Everyone says I am. I have no one. I really need someone. Everyone keeps on pushing me away so there's no point of me being here anymore if no one wants to listen to me or of no one cares. I just think that if I cut then it will make things better for me and then everyone can move on and won't have to pretend to be nice or care about me anymore. No one knows how much I am going through or how much pain I am dealing with right now. I want it all to go away, but it won't it will just keep on getting worse.

“Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone.”
― Taylor Swift
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
SnowKitten Offline
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Re: I am not doing okay...... - October 13th 2011, 01:51 AM

Listen to me Rebecca.
I don't know you, but I care. You're probably beautiful, smart.
You're so worthy of love. No one has a right to treat you like these people are treating you. I think you need new friends. I think you need to talk to someone. I'm here. We're all here. Everyone on TeenHelp knows the kind of pain you're in, and you can tell everything to us. We won't judge, we won't hate, we won't pick on you. Even though I don't know you, I love you. Keep that knowledge. Someone loves you.
My inbox is always open. Just breathe.♥

Click my eggs and help my dragons grow! :3
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
CaraMarie Offline
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Re: I am not doing okay...... - October 13th 2011, 02:20 AM

The most important thing for you to remember right now is not to give up. I know how hard it must be for you right now and that you feel like you have no where to go. Life can be so hard sometimes, especially when you feel alone, and I need you to know that you aren't alone, and you will get through this. The friends that you are talking about do not sound like friends to me, friends are people that are there for you and that love you no matter what, if they are putting you down like that then you shouldn't consider them your friends. A lot of time when people say hurtful things like they are it's out of their own insecurities, I know that its hard but try not to take it to heart. There is no reason for other people to be judging you that way.You are not a failure Rebecca, in everything you said, nothing was anything that you did wrong, it all seems to be other people mistreating you and making you feel as though you aren't good enough and that isn't fair, no one has the right to make you feel like that. But you are here talking about your problems and asking for help, I think that that is extremely brave. It sounds like you have been through a lot and you are still here fighting through it, you sound like a very strong girl to me. You just need to know in your heart that you are beautiful and completely worthy of love and friendship, you are not a failure, you are not alone and you will get through this and get to a better place. If you can you should try to talk to your sister and see if you can stay with her for a little while. Just keep holding on no matter what you do, life does get better. I'm here if you need to talk about anything at all, feel free to message me any time.
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Cowgirl13 Offline
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Re: I am not doing okay...... - October 13th 2011, 02:46 AM

sweetheart im sorry u just need to tell someone who can help u get out of that situation and dont hurt urself it is never good and doesnt work out well for anyone most self harm is addictive so once u start u cant stop
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
WaywardGirl Offline
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Re: I am not doing okay...... - October 13th 2011, 03:02 AM

First off, Rebecca, please don't give up. I remember feeling exactly like you do right now when I was bullied in school. It was a horrible feeling and I went through it for 3 years. I know you want to give up. But, please, don't. I know nothing seems like it will ever be better, but it WILL. I promise.

A failure would have given up by now. You haven't. You are NOT a failure.

I am sorry about your parents. It must be so hard going home to stressful place when it should be your retreat.

I don't know you, but I care. And I sympathize. I TRULY do. Reading your post brings back old memories and feelings that I don't enjoy thinking about. But you will get past this. You are young, and have so much more to give this world.

Can you talk to your older sister, or a school counsellor? I know talking to schools don't always help, but even if you could ask them that you just want to TALK so you can get things off your chest and NOT have them pursue the bullies if you choose, this should be an option they have available to you.

You have us here, too. Don't forget that.

Be strong, sweetie! *hugs*

"I've been there. I want to tell you it gets better. That pain in the pit of your stomach? That pain in your heart? It goes away. That voice in your head saying that there's no way out? It's wrong. Believe me. It gets better."
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: I am not doing okay...... - October 13th 2011, 09:05 PM

Hi there Rebecca.

Firstly, thanks for PMing me and well done for posting in the forums! That's really great and something to be proud of.

You're 'friends' have no right to bully you. I mean honestly, I think you need to think about whether these people are actually your friends or not because I don't think friends would bully you. I want to tell you that people do want you here. I for one want you here and want you to beat this. And truth be told, I don't think they can do much more damage and hurt to you than the emotional pain they're already putting you through and I want to encourage you to reach out to someone and let them know what is happening. You're not anything they say you are and you are worth so much more!

I'm sorry that your family aren't treating you very well either. Again, you don't deserve what they're putting you through and them hitting you certainly is not right.

It sounds like you're feeling a lot of horrible feelings right now and I think you need to try and focus on positive things (even if it is hard) and try and do things to cheer yourself up like reading, writing, doing art, going for a walk, having a bath, drinking a hot choccy, watching a film, anything which makes you feel that little bit better.

I care about you and I hate that you think self harm is the answer because it's not. You self harming is not going to make anything better. The problem is still going to be there when after your cut yourself. Cutting is not going to make the underlying problems go away. They're still going to haunt you and get you down, until the next time you cut and then it starts all over again until you start to beat the self harm and realise that you hurting you is not going to solve anything. I want you here and I want you to beat this because I know you can and because you ARE worth it. You ARE worth more than self harm and the pain you put yourself through when you hurt yourself.

Nothing is your fault. The bullying your 'friends' put you through or the way your family abuse you. You have done nothing wrong to deserve to be treat the way you are.

I know it is incredibly hard but I honestly think telling someone about what is going on with you is the best option. That way you get support and will have someone to talk to about the thoughts you're having, the way you feel and how all of this is affecting you as well as getting help on stopping the bullying and the abuse.

I know it's hard but you can do this. You are never alone and you don't deserve any of the pain you are going through. Things are hard now but they won't be this way for ever. Reach out for help and let someone help you. You can do this.

Look after yourself.

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
ShesNotThere Offline
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Re: I am not doing okay...... - October 17th 2011, 09:10 PM

I know I've talked to you about this before, but it's been awhile, and unfortunately, these past few weeks I haven't been on TH as often as I'd like.

You did talk to your guidance counselor, right? What did he or she tell you to do?

Hang in there. Things will get better for you, I promise. Because you deserve better than this.
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Haunted Offline
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Re: I am not doing okay...... - October 20th 2011, 08:26 PM

I feel the same things at times.
I don't know why, no one treats me like that. I mean, my parents shout at me like everyday and they think I am always wrong, but it's a lot different.
I just feel like I am a huge failure, like there's nothing right in me. Sometimes I even wonder why I keep going. Yes, I have thought suicide more than once this year and I'm wondering if it's alright with my mind. I cut almost everyday. I am always afraid of going dancing because I fear someone will see my scars.
I know there are days when you feel like shit, but you have to move on and think positively. It won't be this way forever. Believe that and keep holding on.

the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you’d be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home.
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