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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Nomophobia Offline
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Question Been in this situation? - October 11th 2015, 02:28 PM

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ok, so I'm just going to come out and say it..I was raped on 10 April this year, and after reporting it to the police and waiting 7 months, his bail date was 7th Oct...understandably I had been dreading and yet waiting for this day to come as I thought I would finally get to close or move on from this horrible incident/chapter of my life...Wednesday came and after a horrible day of hearing nothing, I then get told that they are still reviewing the case because some messages I sent the guy the morning after have thrown the whole thing into question...which makes me feel great about myself...and then they tell me that they cant even give me a time frame on when they will make a decision. The officer said that he still cant say which way it will go, and that the fact they are still reviewing it is not necessarily a bad thing, but as you can probably imagine, my head was totally fried by this outcome and im only now starting to properly process it. Had a relatively stable mood this weekend until this afternoon when I'm suddenly thinking about it all.

So my question to you is, if any of you have been in this situation or a similar one, how on earth do/did you cope with the waiting?? I've waited 7 months already and that was hard enough, I really dont know how much longer I can do this...this outcome has totally demoralised me and left me feeling hopeless yet again. Any advice on how to cope with this seemingly endless nightmare would really be appreciated.


"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

Paramore! <3
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Re: Been in this situation? - October 15th 2015, 09:35 PM

Hi baby girl.

You know I haven't been through this so I don't have anything brilliant or probably that helpful to say but I want you to know that you have gotten this far through it and that if you've gotten through the seven months, then you can go a bit further and what ever the outcome, I'm here to support you through it. Okay? None of this was your fault. You are not and nor are you ever to blame for any of this. You didn't cause this. Keep talking to people around you like me and your CPN and even look in to specialist groups etc. I know in my town we have a counseling services for abuse survivors. Do you have anything like that there? I don't know if you do but maybe you could look into it?

Just know you aren't alone and hope is alive. I believe in you, you know? You have come through so much and I know you can keep going so you have to keep fighting through it. You're my star and I'm right behind you in this so don't ever be alone. I wish I had something more helpful to say so I'm sorry for that but just keep your chin up, stay distracted and focused, do things that make you a little bit happy and things that make you feel comforted like watching a film in bed with a hot chocolate. Self soothe. Take care of you. Okay?

I love you lots. <3


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Been in this situation? - October 16th 2015, 12:00 AM

Hey,

Everything you say is helpful! Yeah I will contact my ISVA tomorrow or Monday. Thank you so much, as you know, reading this made me cry because it means so much to me. I love you so much! I'm here for you too, all the way. My self soothing tonight is skyping with someone very special ;-) xxxx


"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

Paramore! <3
Pm me anytime, I like to help!
  Send a message via MSN to Nomophobia  
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