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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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kendallLoser Offline
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Abuse or Punishment - March 12th 2018, 12:33 AM

Is this abuse or just norma punishment? If I am "bad" or break rules, I still get spanked with a belt, I am 13! Also mom will make me stand face in the corner for like an hour. The other day I had to write "I am stupid cause i can follow simple rules" 400 times and she would pop my hand with a ruler if she felt i wasn't writing fast enough. One time I had to stay in the bad closet over night, I hate that and i have to earn the bed or bed sheets or anything "good". Is this normal?
   
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Re: Abuse or Punishment - March 13th 2018, 01:45 AM

Hi there,

There are some things that people should not have to earn, and a bed with sheets should be automatically given to you. You should be given those things by your parents no matter how they think you act.

Being forced to write that you're stupid as well as the other things you have written to us is considered abuse/neglect. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Perhaps a trusted adult?

Keep us updated if you'd like.


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Re: Abuse or Punishment - March 13th 2018, 01:47 AM

No, that is not normal. Sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between abuse and punishment. However, your mother, if you'll excuse me, seems a bit extreme. Have you tried talking with a counselor? If you want to talk about it, I'm available, just PM me.
   
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Re: Abuse or Punishment - March 13th 2018, 06:15 AM

Ok so here's the thing. The word punishment has been taken way too far for a lot of people. The point of parents disciplining their child is for their child to grow while still feeling loved and cared about. There's a such thing as abusive punishment, meaning the parent would justify their abusive behaviors by saying the child did something wrong and needs to be taught a lesson. That's how my family is and there are so many things wrong with that way of thinking.

You're a living being with emotions and needs. You're a person and people deserve to be treated with respect first and foremost. Yes, part of raising children is teaching them better behavior. The way your mom (and anyone else) is NOT the way it should be done.

I have not been given bedsheets until I "earn" it, too. After years of living like that, I bought myself some bedsheets with my own money, at 23 years old, which to me was a small victory. Seeing that you're only 13, you depend on your parents. They're denying you of basic human needs. As a 13 year old there are many other things to be worrying about that is appropriate for your age. Having bedsheets to sleep on should not be one of them.

Is there someone you trust that you can talk to about this? Maybe if it is too hard to say out loud you can print the original post as an aid to start the conversation.
   
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