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Aiyannah Offline
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Unhappy Am I being dramatic? - March 26th 2018, 08:06 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So I've already posted about whether my parents were abusing me or if it was punishment. I mentioned me being sexually assaulted by someone close to me and decided to go and post about it.

It was around midnight and I was fast asleep. I woke up to feel a hand on my thigh and rubbing my crotch area. I was very confused and half asleep so I thought I was just imagining things.

But then this hand started taking my sock off and started jacking off with my own f***ing foot. I was mortified. I jumped up and ran straight to the bathroom, hopped in the shower, and sat in the tub with my clothes on and the water running.

Guess who walked into the bathroom?

My 14 year old brother.

He told me that I needed to move because he was sweating a lot. I asked him how late he has been up and he said he hasn't been to sleep.

He was the only one sleeping on the couch with me at the time.

I went to my mom about it, and she told me to quit being a baby, to stop crying, and that he was asleep and didn't know what he was doing and it was all innocent and that he respected me deeply.

She says that I was simply being dramatic, but I know what I felt. Now if I tell her that I'm scared to be alone with anyone related to me because of the incident, she will go on a full blown rant on how it was innocent and that I was pulling a low blow and stuff.

Am I really being so dramatic? Was I really being a baby? Do I have no reason to not trust family?
   
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Re: Am I being dramatic? - March 26th 2018, 09:16 PM

You aren't being dramatic or a baby and I'm sorry to hear that your mom didn't take you seriously. Since it may be difficult for her to accept your story, then it my explain why she rejected it. Although it doesn't help you at all.

You were half asleep and confused, so I understand why you may struggle with doubting yourself, especially since this is a serious matter regarding what your brother did. He said that you needed to move because he was sweating a lot....but he could've moved or tried waking you up, perhaps a tap on your shoulder or saying your name, in order to get you to move. There was no need for him to be touching your thigh, crotch area or take your sock off, and definitely not masturbate.

After such an incident and your mom not believing you, it's natural to not want to be alone with other family members, at least not your brother. If you don't want to bring it up again, you could try to avoid being with your brother alone or sleeping on the coach with your brother around. But it is always worth talking about your concerns, so you may want to consider telling your mom again or someone else that you trust.


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Re: Am I being dramatic? - March 26th 2018, 09:28 PM

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Originally Posted by Celyn View Post
You aren't being dramatic or a baby and I'm sorry to hear that your mom didn't take you seriously. Since it may be difficult for her to accept your story, then it my explain why she rejected it. Although it doesn't help you at all.

You were half asleep and confused, so I understand why you may struggle with doubting yourself, especially since this is a serious matter regarding what your brother did. He said that you needed to move because he was sweating a lot....but he could've moved or tried waking you up, perhaps a tap on your shoulder or saying your name, in order to get you to move. There was no need for him to be touching your thigh, crotch area or take your sock off, and definitely not masturbate.

After such an incident and your mom not believing you, it's natural to not want to be alone with other family members, at least not your brother. If you don't want to bring it up again, you could try to avoid being with your brother alone or sleeping on the coach with your brother around. But it is always worth talking about your concerns, so you may want to consider telling your mom again or someone else that you trust.
Yeah, I suppose so. I'm supposed to be seeing a counselor sometime in the next week or two, so I'm going to try to talk to the counselor about it. I have also tried other times to mention it to my mother, but she shuts me down and says that the situation was taken care of, and that it was all an accident and that I needed to put everything behind me. I have told some friends about it, and my mom found out and bursted into tears, saying that my brother didn't deserve to be thought of as a sex offender or anything related to it. She was really mad at me for even talking about it to someone other than her, yet she won't even listen to what I have to say. It confuses me and I know what I felt. Fortunately my brother moved to the other side of the couch and now I'm never alone with him in a room. However he never knocks when entering my room and there are several times when I would be changing and he would walk in without knocking to tell me a story and then see me in my underwear and would just stare for a minute before closing the door just a little bit.

I don't tell anyone besides my friends and people online on what happens because I know that my family members would never believe me, or wouldn't care. I can't go to the cops because they have already talked to my parents for different situations and the cops will back up my parents for anything. That is why I am hoping that the counselor will at least try to help me with my emotions and deal with everything that has happened the past few years.

It just sucks because I feel like everything is targeted only towards me, and everything happens only to me. And my parents make me feel like it is my fault and that I deserve everything that has happened. But they also confuse me because they will treat me like an actual daughter one day and I mess up one time and all hell breaks loose.

sorry for the long message.
   
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Re: Am I being dramatic? - March 26th 2018, 10:01 PM

It sounds like your mom is having a hard time accepting what your brother did and would perhaps prefer to live in denial, wether that's you talking to her or someone else, as it makes it easier for her. It's good that you have talked to friends and will be seeing a counsellor soon. The counsellor should listen, be understanding and help you through your feelings. As for your brother, maybe asking him to knock before he enters your room might help, or if you feel the need, put a sign up on your door asking for people to knock.

If you ever chose to go to the cops, they should take your concerns seriously. But it's okay if you chose not to go the cops. Either way, the counsellor should help you process things.

When it comes to abuse and dysfunction, it doesn't have to be all the time. It is possible to have some good days in between, and I understand that does make things confusing.

No need to apologise


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