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*Poppy* Offline
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Emotional Abuse - December 9th 2018, 03:33 PM

I suffered many years of emotional abuse and brainwashing from not only my parents but people I was suppose to trust in what I thought at the time was a close knit church group. Well it was more than a Cult that I was unfortunately born into. I was able to escape from it at the young age of 14 and my life is better but still haunted by the many years of emotional abuse and brainwashing I went through. I still am quite confused about God and religion and believe it or not even with my life way better than it was back then there are times that I get so scared I want to run back. I know I will never do that, but it still comes into my head and drives me crazy. My birth parents are still wrapped up in it and you'd think they would have tried to escape to look for me but that shows the power it has over them. I am done with them and have been officially adopted by my Foster Mom and Dad who are now my parents.

I see a therapist and a Psychiatrist and mostly what helps me is writing in a journal. I also enjoy coloring when I experience anxiety. I guess my question to everyone here is has anyone experienced horrible emotional abuse over a prolonged period of time from people that you re suppose to trust and how do you all deal with that today? Thanks for reading another one of my long posts.

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Re: Emotional Abuse - December 11th 2018, 05:30 PM

I'm sorry to hear about what you went through. You should never have had to go through manipulation and brainwashing as a child from the people that you should've been able to trust the most.

It's good that you are doing better these days. I do understand why you may have sudden urges to run back into all of that. They are family and it's all you have ever known up until recently. You're still adjusting to your new life and trying to process the past as well and that's a difficult task. It makes sense that in some way you'd have those feelings to go back, especially if you get scared. Although it's good you realise you wouldn't do that.

My situation is very different to yours but like you, I do find journaling and talking to a therapist helpful. When I get difficult thoughts about the past I like to try to accept myself as I am. I tell myself that it's okay to still get a bit upset about what was and what could've been and though I may struggle, I try to tell myself that I am worthy just as I am.

Hope others can share their suggestions too!

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Re: Emotional Abuse - December 11th 2018, 10:49 PM

I am sorry that you had to go through what you did. I can only imagine how difficult things must be for you at times, but I am glad you are in a safe place now with good people who care about you and want the best for you.

My situation was different than yours. The abuse only lasted a couple of years but, due to the nature of it, it fundamentally changed my view of myself as a person. I trusted my abuser and I didn't see how I could exist as an entity without him. To be honest I still struggle with that to this day, but with the help of the people who love me, a therapist, and journaling I've started to come back into pieces of myself. I hope you can do the same. I know abuse that's lasted a lifetime makes that more difficult but I believe you can do it.

If you ever need to talk, I'm here.

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