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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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can he legally put me in time out ? - September 21st 2009, 03:04 PM

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i have not really got on with my dad for about 9 years, he drinks and gets drunk alot of the time,and im really fed up of it all he does is shout at me and hurt me, and friday night i cried myself to sleep, saturday i nearly cried myself to sleep agian and he just kept shouting at me he even shouted at me for using the downstairs toilet (its broke but i did'nt no that it has broke), and then last night he put me in a time out, im 19 and got put in time out for 15 minuets, he made me sit in the down in dining room and shut me in there, hes shut me in rooms before aswell, hes also physically hurt me alot of times, im fed up of it, i just want him to stop, he has also started invading my privacy going threw my personal things and stuff. but in the mornings he give me a lift to the train station and sometimes picks me up from college aswell. hes nice when im out with him and stuff but when i get home all hell breaks lose and just goes off on one, he throws things at me to. im fed up and can he legally put me in time out when im 19 years old ?
   
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Re: can he legally put me in time out ? - September 21st 2009, 04:58 PM

I don't believe that he can legally put you in time out since your 19 years old. Parents have a hard time dealing with the fact that their 'baby' is growing up. They still want to believe that they have the little baby they once used to have.

If its bugging you a lot, and some things that he does is wrong, you could consider seeing a counsellor or something, maybe they could talk to you and your dad. Or if you want to take more drastic actions, you could contact the police.

Dealing with abuse is really hard, but its harder to reach out and get help, especially if it is someone that you love, and have loved all your life. I'm sure if you talk to him, he would understand. If not then you should really find help.

Keep your head up. Stay strong, you can get through this.

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Re: can he legally put me in time out ? - September 21st 2009, 08:01 PM

i have spoke to a counsellor before they cant help my dad and didnt help me much either, they only gave me for sessions.
   
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Re: can he legally put me in time out ? - September 21st 2009, 08:26 PM

parents can ground or put their kids in time out thats not illegal at least not where i live although once their kids are over 18 years they cant do much as their kids are adults so next time he puts you in time out politely mention that your an adult to now and if he gets physical go to down to your local police station and tell them whats happening. he has no right to ger abusive with you.
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Re: can he legally put me in time out ? - September 21st 2009, 08:28 PM

No, he can't. But you're living in HIS house. He's no longer obliged to have you live with him.
Just remember that when you're arguing with him
   
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Re: can he legally put me in time out ? - September 21st 2009, 10:12 PM

Hey there, it sounds like you have been dealing with an abusive father for quite some time. To answer your question, I don't think there is any law that says a parent can't put their child in time out, but if you ask to leave the house, etc. he can in no way forcefully detain you.

You are an adult and technically do not have to listen to your parents. As you are still living in their house though, you will have to follow their rules, unless they are abusive rules and I don't see time-out as being that.

You mentioned him being physically and verbally abusive and he is in no way allowed to hurt you like this. I definitely think you should talk with the police or social services. There is help out there.

Have you ever thought about moving out? I know it can be hard sometimes, but a lot of people move out of their parent's house when they start college. It requires holding a job and still being able to keep up with school, but it may be worth it to get out of his house.

I hope you're doing okay right now. You can PM me anytime.
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Re: can he legally put me in time out ? - September 22nd 2009, 08:41 AM

i have job but its on very low pay, but i am also hoping to get a job in a supermarket thats like 5 minuets away from me, as for social services theres not alot they can do as im 19 and am not a child, but i dont know if they would help me as they have not helped me in the past, dont really trust them. and if im honest i dont really trust the police they have let me down so many times aswell. im not in school but i do go to college one maybe twice a week.
   
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Re: can he legally put me in time out ? - September 22nd 2009, 10:20 AM

I know Social Services can be hard to trust and that the police can be to but if you want to do something about the way your dad is treating you, I would suggest you go to them. in a post, you said you had a counselor and they only gave you four sessions, I suggest you find a better counselor or another place to get counseling. Legally Social Services can have you in there system until you are twenty one and they can provide you with housing assistence if you need it. They also can help you get counseling and they can also help your dad find places that can help him. Although Social Services generally is seen as a place that deals with kids, it also deals with young adults.


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Re: can he legally put me in time out ? - September 22nd 2009, 12:39 PM

I think I agree with all the above posts!
They have said all that I intended to!
Take care!
And I also suggest that you do talk to someone about this!

Pm me anytime!
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