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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Boxy Offline
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Triggered.... - December 10th 2009, 01:26 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So two days ago in school in 6th period one of the girls who sit across from me was just trying to be funny i guess... anyways... she said something along the lines of.. "How do you know when you'll never get a man? Even the child molesters won't touch you. Boxy." then she looked at me..
It really upset me.. and it still is.. I can't even talk to her.. and we used to kinda be friends.. at least be able to joke around and hang out during breakfast.
It just feels like.. idk.. What right does she have to say something like that?!?! She doesn't even KNOW me!
Then yesterday she smacked me.. so i smacked her back and walked away. (it's just her personality) and in 6th period she came up to me to get me back and i stood up and told her she shouldn't mess with me right now b/c she has "NO IDEA WHAT KINDA MOOD I'M IN." and then she tried to hug me.. and i told her not to touch me. and i left.
idk.. just venting..
Any advice..? ...

<3 Boxy


1:44 PM [Cassago] I'll be your glass slipper, if you'll be my foot..
1:45 PM [Boxy] i'll be your foot anyday

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Triggered.... - December 10th 2009, 06:34 PM

Hey there ,

People have no right to judge others or make jokes about things such as rape and abuse; especially if something like that haunts your past.

It goes for other things too, taking the mickey out of disabled people, or for me personally taking the mickey out of ''Having a heart-attack''

Very few people these days actually think about how what they say can effect someone else. Is there any way you could talk to her about this, tell her you don't think it's appropriate to be saying things like that, ( If something has happened to you personally - you don't have to tell her this - just say it upset you)

Try and rise about it =] I know how you Feel.

Take Care,
Claire x


I'm still alive.
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Destination still unkown
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I'm still alive.
   
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Re: Triggered.... - December 10th 2009, 07:03 PM

Tell her if she's going to be a bitch then she can gtfo.
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Re: Triggered.... - December 10th 2009, 09:04 PM

Hey there,

I'm so sorry that this happened. That was completely uncalled for and insensitive. You have every right to feel hurt, upset and triggered. Just try to remember to cope with these feelings in a healthy manner, and try not to let them get to you. I know this can be so difficult, but I know that you are strong enough to overcome this without resorting to unhealthy coping methods. Just keep being your brave, strong self.

I think that, if you feel comfortable, you should let this person know that comments like that are upsetting to you. Perhaps she simply doesn't realize that this hurts you so much. If this continues, try your best to avoid her. You do not need this sort of obstacle when you are already dealing with so much.

Take care, and if you need anything, feel free to contact me. I'm always more than happy to talk, about anything. <3


[/url]
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in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
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but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

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Boxy Offline
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Re: Triggered.... - December 11th 2009, 01:03 PM

Yea. I've pretty much just been avoiding her as much as possible...
She keeps asking if i'm mad. And I just don't answer her. And my friend just looked at her and said "If she's not answering you, that's pretty much the answer." I don't know I kinda feel bad for not explaining myself, but at the same time... What can I possibly say? I don't really wanna tell her.
I guess if she asks me why I'm mad at her (Which she probably won't. She probably just thinks it's because she hit me.) Then I'll just tell her about what she said and hope she takes the hint.
Idk.. She's pretty hard-headed.
Thanks for the advice..


1:44 PM [Cassago] I'll be your glass slipper, if you'll be my foot..
1:45 PM [Boxy] i'll be your foot anyday

Support for victims of sexual assault or abuse can be found here start the healing

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Re: Triggered.... - December 13th 2009, 02:33 AM

If you didn't want to tell her any details, just say something like,

"i don't think serious topics like abuse, or rape, or anything like that should be joked about. there's no humour in it".

You needn't make a big deal out of saying it, or make her think there's anything beyond words. She'll probably ,from the sounds of her, pout at her and say "oh you're such a party pooper" and roll her eyes - but, at least she'll have had her explanation.

I had a situation like this before, where someone made a joke out of rape, and in the end, I laughed it off weakly - was the easiest way to appease people, and keep them from questioning.

Good luck
   
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