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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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deartrixie Offline
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It keeps reminding me of what happened - December 26th 2009, 05:19 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

so lately, Ive been getting into fights with people. All about the same things. People saying that rape is funny and them using the word incorrectly, such as, when someones being hugged, they scream: "Get off, stop raping me!" and then begin to laugh. I always confront people about this, whether I know them or not, it just makes me want to cry. THe other day, on facebook, some asshole randomly commented on a status i commented about how funny rape is. And how rape victims are weak and pathetic. And its bad enough I cant stop thinking about what happened to me. I mean, theres another girl, who came and talked to me, the same guy raped her. And I was going to testify ni her court case, because mine had no evidence because I only reported the last time he molested me and the not the first 3. And it just drives me nuts when people do that shit! And then there was this otherguy who flat out said it was my fucking fault and that sexual assault and rape are 95% preventable, and I should learn to kick harder. Like, who the fuck are you to say that to me? I just feel like, maybe I shouldnt make so much out of what happened to me, because it could have been alot worse. but it still drives me fucking crazy! Imthinking about it so much more lately, I dont know what my problem is. Im depressed, Im eating like once or twice a day, which for me, is pathetic because Im a big time binge and purger. So eating once or twice and not throwing up is crazy. And I mean, Im out of sleeping pills, so I havent been sleeping. And I feel like Im literally going insane. I cant focus on anything, its all I think about. All the time. God, whats wrong with me? Everythign reminds me of it, not just people saying rape is funny and shit. I have nightmares, Im taking everything so hard, Im an emotional wreck. Whats wrong with me?
   
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Re: It keeps reminding me of what happened - December 26th 2009, 08:23 AM

when someone shouts 'stop raping me!' and stuff, it doesn't mean they condone rape at all, or think its funny. Its just a joke. If they knew someone had really been raped they would not laugh.

If you do get into fights with these people, do you tell them all that you've been raped? Thats not something you want to go telling the world. I cirtainly don't.

I know it can be really hard. When did it happen to you? The pain and the fear and the feeling of...I can't put it into words but I'm sure you know what I mean, they don't go away, ever. So you have to learn how to cope with them day by day, and part of this is not reminding yourself of it every time someone uses the word by getting into a big point.

And those who think that honestly, rape is a joke or its the females fault, well, dont even waste your breath on them. Honestly, You're very fragile right now ( I know, I've been there ) and you shouldnt be wasting your emotional energy on getting into fights. Just spend time looking after yourself.



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Re: It keeps reminding me of what happened - December 26th 2009, 08:26 PM

There's nothing wrong with you, after being put through something so terrible its completly normal to feel the way you do.

I used to get in fights a lot with people to, I actually had a huge fight with a guy I had never met before and he's now a great friend of mine, he guessed what had happened because of how emotional I was during our very heated argument.
Eventually it will get better and you will learn to shrug off stupid peoples stupid comments...

for those that say it was your fault... there just ignorant stupid jack ass's who haven't got a decent working brain cell, don't take what they say to heart... there not worth it!

as for going to court for the other girl, bear in mind how stressful and emotionally draining it will be... I did it, and although it feels great to know I helped getting him sent away, it was the hardest thing I have ever done.



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Re: It keeps reminding me of what happened - December 27th 2009, 04:55 AM

no its not somehting I tell them. but they still sit there and tell me how funny rape is. and shit like, maybe if women would put out more, then we wouldnt get raped. it happened four times, over the course of march 2008-may 2008 and then once this september.
I am keeping in mind everything about the court case and I want to, but she messaged me telling me its not going anywhere which just pisses me off that nothings going to happen with it.
   
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Re: It keeps reminding me of what happened - December 27th 2009, 05:00 AM

Of course it pisses you off, but sometimes you've just got to let things go. For your own sake.



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Re: It keeps reminding me of what happened - December 27th 2009, 05:14 AM

I think you're being really strong, and that a lot of people are insensitive about things that are unpleasant or uncomfortable to think about seriously. You know? So many gay jokes, depression/"emo" jokes, rape jokes--its like society can't figure out how to talk about that stuff so it gets expressed in the most horrible ways! People don't mean to be offensive, I think it's careless. And I'm really sorry that you have to put up with it.

I think if the court case is happening, you need to testify. I think that it would make you feel a lot better, and maybe you can be supportive of the girl who went through a similar experience? Sometimes just talking about things with someone who understands and trying to be positive and supportive is just the thing you need to move forward.

Keep going, ok? Take care.


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Re: It keeps reminding me of what happened - December 27th 2009, 06:34 AM

There's nothing wrong with you. If there's something wrong with someone, it's those people making the jokes. Those people who say those things, ignore them. Walk away, don't say anything. Or you could always tell them to grow up and walk away, show them that you are done with that kind of crap.

Any form of assault is not something you can just let go or get over. It takes time. Don't try and force yourself to heal faster. Nightmares come with it, and they suck. But you either have to talk about what happened, or deal with the nightmares. Talking about it will help them go away, help you accept it too.

Rape is not a joke; it's not funny. But it's also taboo. And a lot of teenagers like to make fun of taboo things, because it makes it less scarier, more of a joke, and the expression on people's faces is so hilarious to taboo jokes. But that doesn't make it right or acceptable.

Just hang in there, and if you need anything feel free to pm me.


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