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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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ladyninetyfour Offline
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Exclamation Help, my world is spinning. - April 4th 2010, 03:07 PM

So I got abused loads, nearly got raped, still have nightmares from it, etc. That's not what I want help with. I'm not over them, but I can put them behind me, and know that if something like it happened again I could fight them and I'd go to the police etc.

I told my ex when we were going out about those things. And hes amazing. I love him. We were t this sleepover together last year. And he was really weird around me and broke up with me.
I found out why the other day. Because he wanted sex, and if I wouldnt, he wanted to force me.
I might be getting back together with him. I love him, don't think badly of him, because he didnt do what he thought about, and it was a one off, and i dont think he ever would hurt me like that.

But its still in the back of my mind. What if? One day, what if? Help.

I yelled at him when I found out, I cried, I wanted to know how he could even think about it after what I'd been through. He said he was sorry. He hugged me. He looked like he was the one whod been hurt.

But what if? I trust him truly, but WHAT IF? x


Where there's love, there's hope
You cannot destroy me!
xoxox PunkRoxS9 xoxox


Last SH: 03/08/09
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Eljoria Offline
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Re: Help, my world is spinning. - April 4th 2010, 03:15 PM

Talk to him about it. Ask him that you don't want it to happen and he only has one chance as you say about that but sometimes you should consider that his chance with you is last one as you wouldn't be able to cope with it for a long time..

I suggest you to talk to him about it and how it would affect you and how it'll be like when it happens and how you could improve the trust with each other.

I'm here if you need me.
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Casey. Offline
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Re: Help, my world is spinning. - April 8th 2010, 05:35 AM

Honestly, someone who wants only sex isn't really worth your time, especially if they even thought about forcing you into it. However, that's your choice. You could try talking to him, tell him how the things that happened to you made you feel, and how terrifying and upsetting it would be for you if he forced you, that you will have sex when you are ready, but not for that. Don't compromise your morals or yourself for a guy, it's just not worth it.

Just hang in there, and pm me if you need anything.


She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


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Re: Help, my world is spinning. - April 8th 2010, 07:34 AM

Hi there,

After what you've been through I don't blame you for thinking 'What if?'. As for this boy, let me just tell you guys who want sex when you don't really aren't worth the trouble and drama. However if you really do trust this guy, even after he thought about forcing you to have sex, maybe you should be open with him about it. Tell him how it made you feel when you found out and that it really hurt you. Be straight with him, without yelling at him, and tell him you won't have sex with him because of your past. Tell him exactly what you said here: that you love him, but you're scared. If he loves you he will understand and try to make up for it. If he doesn't, you deserve better. The fact that he chose not to act upon his intentions shows that maybe there is hope. However, that doesn't change the fact the thought still crossed his mind. I would talk to him, but be careful. Best wishes!
   
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ladyninetyfour Offline
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Re: Help, my world is spinning. - April 9th 2010, 05:18 PM

I'm really grateful for all your help, and it would have been very beneficial, but due to a recent turn of events, we're not getting back together so it doesn't really matter any more. But thank you anyways x


Where there's love, there's hope
You cannot destroy me!
xoxox PunkRoxS9 xoxox


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