Female Advice Preferred: Honestly... I can't take it anymore.

[chelsealyn3994]

2 years ago, I was raped by my cousin. When I couldn't handle it because I refused to tell anyone, I started cutting. I was almost addicted to it, but I've managed to have stopped. But now, I go to counseling to deal with it, but there are times like tonight when I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes, I see him on top of me. I feel it like it's happening all over again. The flashbacks are so real, that it makes me want to cut all over again; but most of all, I just want it all to stop.

[mare]

stick with the counseling and i can make a promise to you things will get better. but reverting back to cutting or turning to drugs/ alcohol is the worst idea for you. if you can try to find an outlet in art(drawing, painting, scupting, ect)/music/theater/sports whatever you enjoy. put you focus there the dreams, well nightmares will stop but it will take counseling and it will take you taking those babysteps to reach a point were you have moved on.

[Kitty.]

Hey there,

I'm sorry this happened to you. Cutting or anything that harms you will not help you at all. You need to focus on some fun things that you like to do as in drawing, reading, etc. Stick with counseling as well. Hang in there. =)

[Tiny_93]

Really focus on councelling, this can help you so much more than self harm! Have you tried talking to a trusted friend/family member/teacher?

These flash backs are totally normally. They're really common with traumatic experiences and should fade with time, but that doesn't mean you will forget. Just try to stay positive.

As for what your cousin did, well did you call the police?! He needs to be locked up for what he has done! :@

Hang in there

[deartrixie]

listen hun, I've said almost the exact same thing, to my best friend. you are NOT alone. I know what youre going through, and when that happens, you have to seperate the past from th present. I know its bullshit advice, and it seems fuckni retarded, but just take it easy. try not to get worked up over it, because that isnt good for anyone. if you need to talk, you can PM me, i swear, you arent alone.

[babigirl2014]

i know what your going through stay strong and know that here there are people who are willing to help and listen.

[Haruhi]

Hey Chelsea,

I totally know how your feeling, you've just got to hang in there.. I know how hard it can be darling but you have to stay strong! Keep it up with the counselling I'm sure it will really benefit you; but for now do things to keep your mind off it you could go for a jog, watch tv, draw, paint, etc.

You WILL get through this

PM me if you need any help xxxx

[Missjess21]

as a victim of rape also i know how it feels.mine happened only a year ago but i get flash backs as if it just happened, they seem so real. They only thing that has gotten me through it is support from friends and family. if you ever need anyone to talk to about it please feel free to pm me.

[sarahelizaabeth]

Originally Posted by mare

if you can try to find an outlet in art(drawing, painting, scupting, ect)/music/theater/sports whatever you enjoy.

I completely agree with this. Find something to occupy yourself with and one day the nightmares may stop. Also, stay in counseling. I know it may sometimes seem like nothings getting better but just trust that it will and you can heal.

[MadPoet]

Chelsea,

Rape is at terrible thing. It messes up people's lives a heck of a lot, and unfortunately when you are raped the memory does not go away over night. That would be the easy way out, but instead we have to suffer through flashbacks and terrible memories regarding our experience. You are not the only one going through this, as there are many people who are struggling with the aftermath of a rape.

You are in counseling, and that's a huge step. If you weren't in counseling, that would be what I recommended to you. All I can say is keep up with the counseling, and continue telling your counselor everything you are suffering through. Eventually, you'll start to tackle the problems you are facing like the cutting and the flashbacks.

Stay brave, and you can get through this. It's going to take time, but soon everything will be okay again. Believe in yourself! PM me anytime.

[OkamiLove]

Hey hon i know how the flashbacks feel i deal with them on an almost daily basis and its hard i do know that. but if you can ground yourself with something(for me its an old hoodie) it can help bring you back to the present and help you realize that its over and it'll get better it just takes time. if you ever need to talk just PM me *hugs*

[BrokenHeart315]

Chelsea-
First of all, 'hugs' you need one.
Second, you need to tell someone. Your parents, his, the police, everyone. He needs to be locked up. And the good thing is he can. I've been raped as well, and since I had no idea who he was, he's still out there.
Third, as someone who has been through the same thing, I can tell you these flashbacks are TOTALLY normal. They suck, I know, I can barely sleep because of my own. And even though I know cutting can feel like it might help, it never does, and you end up just having to explain a lot of scars.
Instead of cutting, try something else, others have suggested finding a creative outlet, which is a fantastic idea, but what I think might work better is taking up boxing or something along the lines of that. It's a GREAT way to get out your frustrations.
Continue with counseling, and hopefully, unlike me, you have some good friends to lean on. And this thread is full of people who want you to get better & will be here, including me.

[strength_to_surrive_si]

Hey Hun
First i want to say how proud i am of you for starting the recovery of the traumatizing experience of rape I know personally how hard flashbacks just focus on something you love when they happen
Angela