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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Relaps? - June 27th 2010, 03:36 AM

lately I have been having a really hard time sleeping and I dont like being in public at all. Walking through a crowded place feels like torture to me. I cant get these thoughts out of my head. I keep reliving the past so vividly it seems real. I dont know if i am just finally being affected by what happened or if something triggered it again. I talked to my therapist about it and she said that im acknowledging the past but i thought i already had. I know the things that have happened to me but they arent happening anymore so why does it matter im ok and safe now and i know that so why am I feeling this way? I havent felt this way for over three years.

Why am I feeling this way? I dont Understand.
   
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Re: Relaps? - June 27th 2010, 02:46 PM

Would you possibly feel comfortable sharing more information about your past with us? That might allow us to gain a better understanding of where you're coming from and help you better.

Sometimes the past can be a tricky thing. We think we've come to terms with it, when in actuality we haven't completely. I experienced something similar not too long ago -- I thought I had acknowledged my past and moved on... and in a sense, I had. I'd admitted to myself that some bad things had happened to me and "that was that." Or so I thought. Actually, I'd completely neglected to take care of the emotional scars I bore as a result.

It is true, bad things may no longer be happening to you. However, that doesn't mean you are not still deeply troubled by the events that occurred in your past. Sometimes, when you've experienced something traumatizing, you cannot simply "get over it." It can be difficult to get the images out of your mind, and you may need professional help and support to get you through it. That is okay. It is wonderful that you seem to be opening up to your therapist about this subject. I really encourage you to continue to do so.

Take care! xx I hope this helped!
   
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Re: Relaps? - June 27th 2010, 04:49 PM

I just don't understand what it means to "come to terms with it". I mean what do you really want from me? Im not currently depressed and am in a high point in my life right now. Im doing lots of things i enjoy i got myself out of a bad relationship, everything's going really well.. So why am I all of the sudden feeling like this? I felt that after I was no longer suppressing memories and was doing well in my life that was as "over it" as i was ever going to get. I just don't want to feel like this anymore and I don't know what caused it again.
   
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Re: Relaps? - June 27th 2010, 09:05 PM

Congratulations on getting yourself out of a bad relationship! That's excellent!

My therapist once told me that when things get better in your life, sometimes you begin to feel worse emotionally. Your mind feels "safe" enough to remember all the upsetting things that happened to you, and the feelings associated with them. It no longer feels the need to "protect" you. Perhaps this could be why you're suddenly feeling this way again? Were there any possible triggers that could have caused it?

I think you should continue to bring this up in therapy. Your therapist will be able to offer you support and ways to combat these memories. Try not to be discouraged over this. You may just need a little further work and that's perfectly fine. You'll be able to confront your past and get past these feelings.

Take care!
   
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Re: Relaps? - June 27th 2010, 10:25 PM

Thank you I really appreciate the support. I do believe my therapist is helping me a lot. I have gotten close to her after being her patient for five years. I have gotten to the point were i can talk about the abuse with people and am able to have a close relationship with someone again. I just feel that I dont understand what mindset i am supposed to have.I think the only way i can fully understand is by talking to someone who has gotten to that point in their life themselves.or at least someone in the same spot to work through it together.
   
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