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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
liketheangel Offline
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counselling and emdr therapy - October 7th 2010, 07:52 PM

hi so ive finally managed to get counselling for rape and sexual abuse.
and im so nervous. what am i expected to do..will i have to relive it again,
if i do tlak about it im sure to go through a flashback, it just seems since i told my friend the flashbacks and nightmares have just gotten worse. not her fault in anyway but it just has, and everyone told me tlaking will make it better.
dont get me wrong i feel some sort of relief and actually trust someone for once. but still my mind is all over the place, i constantly dont feel alive and most of the time just want to die.
hense why i know i need to go to counselling. but as i say im very scared. and what if it doesnt work what then.

also i have been reffered to this emdr therapy. for my flashbacks.
eye movement desensitization and reprocessing.
has anyone had it? can they say if it was effective. and what they ahd to do?

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luvflamingos Offline
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Re: counselling and emdr therapy - October 9th 2010, 12:31 AM

I am glad you are able to get counseling. This is something that will take time. With the right counselor, things should get better for you. I stress the right counselor though. It is important that you and your counselor are a match so that you open up and convey your feelings fully. If this counselor doesnt work for you, please do not give up. You will need someone to talk with. As for the flashbacks, over time they have diminished for me. I hope they will for you too. I do not have any information on emdr therapy. I hope someone else on here may be able to help. Again, I am glad you are accepting of counseling. They can give you so many tools to help you.
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Philomath Offline
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Re: counselling and emdr therapy - October 9th 2010, 12:05 PM


It's okay to be scared to go to counseling, I was and am a little bit nervos about going back. I've only gone to one session of counseling, but I know it will be worth it and as time goes on, you'll begin to trust and get to know your therapist so that will help you with getting out your feelings and learning how to deal with them.
I don't know what EMDR is like, sorry, I hope someone else here can help you with that part.
If you ever need anything though, you can PM me, I'm always glad and willing to help as best as I can.

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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Re: counselling and emdr therapy - October 9th 2010, 04:53 PM

Hey. I have done EMDR/ am currently doing it. EMDR may help... The first few sessions will cause some flashbacks... but once you have started they wont have as much affect on you. I would say try it. See if the after affects are manageable. If not let your counselor know. You can always stop it once you have started. Good luck. If you have anymore questions feel free to ask me.

If you ever need somebody to talk to pm/vm me.

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ForeverAutumn* Offline
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Re: counselling and emdr therapy - October 10th 2010, 01:22 AM

Hey Amy -

I'm really proud of you for giving counseling a try. It's such a scary step to take, isn't it? It means confronting all those thoughts, memories, and emotions you've bottled up, locked away in the back of your head, and tried hard not to remember. It also means admitting that you were hurt, and it means fully accepting that something bad happened to you. Seeing a counselor is a very big step to take, and it's completely normal to be nervous or afraid. Very, very normal.

What you need to remember is that your counselor is there to help you recover from the abuse. That means s/he's gong to ask you to talk about what happened in your past. Which, I know, is a very scary thing to think about doing. You mentioned you've been having more flashbacks and nightmares since you started speaking to your friend about your past - and that's probably because you're allowing yourself to think about it for the first time. You're opening up about your past and trying to work through it.. which means you're a bit more vulnerable right now, more susceptible to triggers and flashbacks and such. Again, it's a big adjustment to make - going from not talking to suddenly opening up.

Talking does help, honest. I know right now it may not seem like it helps. But over time, you're going to come to realize the flashbacks aren't happening as often, they're not as strong, etc. When you talk about something, you're allowing yourself to process it. You're allowing yourself to feel all those thoughts and feelings and then eventually.. they're not as strong or scary because you've confronted them and learned how to cope in healthy ways. And that's why counseling is such a huge help, and such an important step to take when you're trying to recover from abuse. It's a safe environment in which you're able to speak about what happened to you. To let out those thoughts and feelings and heal.

Stick with it, okay? It really is worth it. You're not going to notice results overnight - it takes time for things to change. Time, and hard work, and (above all) patience and dedication. And remember that your counselor can only meet you halfway! You're going to have to put in a lot of the work yourself if you want things to change, and the more honest you are with your counselor the more she'll be able to help. I haven't heard of EMDR therapy - but if it's been recommended to you, it's probably worth a try.

Hang in there and take really good care of yourself, you're so brave for giving counseling a try. My PM box is always open if you need anything.

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