TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts


Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr Hotlines

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Dyingtolive Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Dyingtolive's Avatar
 
Age: 19

Posts: 41
Join Date: December 23rd 2010

Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - April 28th 2011, 07:09 AM

I was sexually abused as a kid... but I still say that I'm a virgin... but just out of curiousity.... if you havent lost your virginity otherwise do you still consider yourself a virgin or not.. cuz i'm not really sure if i should...?


Sometimes we hurt, sometimes we cry, and sometimes we fall, but what I also know is that sometimes were happy, sometimes we laugh, and we can always get back up when we fall. I know that help is real and hope is real. I know that in falling we learn to fly. And I know that it takes more courage to live than it does to die, so be strong because you can do it.

~"At least we live tonight"~
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Make Believe Offline
makes everything 20% cooler.
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Make Believe's Avatar
 
Name: Ceilidh ("Kay-Lee")
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 5,887
Join Date: August 31st 2009

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - April 28th 2011, 09:47 AM

This is actually a tough question. Personally I would say no if the person raped you as you've had sex physically (consensually or not) Emotionally I suppose you are a virgin. It depends what you want to call yourself really


  Send a message via MSN to Make Believe  
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Porcelain Child Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Porcelain Child's Avatar
 
Name: Claire
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 77
Join Date: April 24th 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - April 28th 2011, 04:36 PM

I was sexually abused a kid too.. He has sex with me and i would say i was not a virgin cos he had sex with me.. BUt it depends on what people think and whether they see thereself as a virgin or not..
  Send a message via MSN to Porcelain Child Send a message via Skype™ to Porcelain Child 
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
ARTPOP Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
ARTPOP's Avatar
 
Name: :)
Gender: Female
Location: Everywhere

Posts: 1,329
Join Date: September 9th 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 10th 2011, 01:28 PM

Not physically no. But I think untill you do it willingly, you could call yourself a virgin




I'm a superstar because I do pageants!
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Peppermint. Offline
Normality, my friends.
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Peppermint.'s Avatar
 
Age: 22
Gender: Alll gurl :)

Posts: 7,336
Join Date: February 19th 2009

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 10th 2011, 01:43 PM

I would say that physically you're not, but emotionally you still are.
I think it's up to the person to decide. :]


Not all those who wander are lost.
  Send a message via AIM to Peppermint. Send a message via MSN to Peppermint.  
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Magical Forest. Offline
3 Years Cut Free!
I can't get enough
*********
 
Magical Forest.'s Avatar
 
Name: Hannah
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 3,372
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 10th 2011, 08:55 PM

I think that yes, you can still be a virgin. It was abuse that happened, not anything you wanted at all.
But it's completely up to you how you see it, there is no right or wrong answer unless you want to be extremely technical.
x





   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
NevermindMe Offline
The Straight Edge Sniper
I've been here a while
********
 
NevermindMe's Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 1,818
Join Date: March 8th 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 10th 2011, 09:00 PM

Technically no, but really if you want to be, you still are.

- Justin



"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
Technologic
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Sythan Offline
Our life is what we make it
I've been here a while
********
 
Sythan's Avatar
 
Name: Nick (Or Nico)
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Location: East Bay Area, California

Posts: 1,126
Join Date: December 25th 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 10th 2011, 11:00 PM

Virginity is more than one thing.

You have vaginal virginity, anal virginity, oral virginity, and handjob virginity.

Even if you lost one you still have the others. However I would agree with the others, physically no, but psychologically, that's your choice.


When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

GAY PRIDE!!!!!!
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Tigerlily. Offline
Rawr
I can't get enough
*********
 
Tigerlily.'s Avatar
 
Name: Cheye
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Location: Nevada

Posts: 2,057
Join Date: August 22nd 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 10th 2011, 11:04 PM

Honestly I would say no, but that's just me because I take virginity as a physical thing, it is emotional but to me I consider the fact that is was sex, consensual or not it was. But honestly if you want to consider yourself a virgin you have all the right to especially taking into account the emotional part of it.


You are worth it keep-holdin-on.tumblr.com

"It's all well and good to apologize to me but if at the end of the day I still mean so little to you, then treat me like a puppy and leave me on the street you dumped me on, don't come back to pick me up just so you can drop me on the concrete again." -Cheye Masters

HelpLINK Mentor(1/28/11)Live Help Operator(5/28/11)Social Networking Team(2/9/12)Rape and Abuse Forum Moderator(2/11/12)Articles Team(7/17/12)Sex and Puberty Forum Moderator(7/28/12)Fashion and Style Forum Moderator(9/23/12)Chat Mod(10/13/12)Buddy(11/18/12)



  Send a message via MSN to Tigerlily. Send a message via Yahoo to Tigerlily. Send a message via Skype™ to Tigerlily. 
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Redhead_Angel Offline
Your Future Is Unwritten
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Redhead_Angel's Avatar
 
Name: Corrina or coco
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: torrance,california

Posts: 990
Join Date: August 31st 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 10th 2011, 11:12 PM

I say i am i was raped before but i only say because i never talked about it also it helps me block out the memory of that night




dont give up just hold me now
Sometimes giving up is the last thing we do.
Never look down you will miss opportunities ahead
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
fullofsecrets Offline
Witness
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
fullofsecrets's Avatar
 
Name: Kristin
Gender: Female
Location: In my own world

Posts: 337
Join Date: December 23rd 2009

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 10th 2011, 11:43 PM

I went through the same question and it was truly a struggle for me. I finally had sex with my boyfriend of three months just so I could assure myself I was definitely not a virgin. I do regret it now. Now, in my opinion, you're a virgin until you emotionally give it away, but it varies from person to person.



   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
specialsara Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
specialsara's Avatar
 
Name: Sara
Gender: Female
Location: Cali

Posts: 10
Join Date: March 19th 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 11th 2011, 03:01 AM

I was raped and was a virgin before that. Now I do not consider myself a virgin.
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
snakewhisperer28's Avatar
 
Name: Jayme
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: So Cal

Posts: 270
Join Date: June 14th 2009

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 11th 2011, 04:32 AM

i think you still are. Its not like you wanted to lose it...so its still yours. You havent willingly given it to anyone yet.


"One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." -Ida Scott Taylor
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
tamz Offline
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
tamz's Avatar
 
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 355
Join Date: February 20th 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 17th 2011, 05:07 PM

I wasn't actually r*ped (sorry, I still can't say or type that word) until after I'd lost my virginity willingly. However, if it had happened when I was still a virgin, I would've said I was one. Obviously physically I wouldn't be but personally unless you do it consensually, emotionally you still would be and that's the thing that counts for me.
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
Kitty. Offline
Project Advisor

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Kitty.'s Avatar
 
Name: Kitty
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 6,228
Join Date: January 23rd 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 18th 2011, 05:18 AM

I would leave it up to the individual.

Last edited by Kitty.; May 28th 2011 at 03:50 AM.
  Send a message via MSN to Kitty.  
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Madeleine.Claire's Avatar
 
Name: Madeleine Claire
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Location: If you'd like to know, ask!

Posts: 1,112
Join Date: August 19th 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 19th 2011, 01:55 AM

In my opinion, you're not a virgin until you give it away. If someone asked you if you were a virgin you could say yes. Because in your mind, you haven't had the bond of sex yet, if that makes any sense... That's the way that I've always thought of it. I don't like people saying that you can get it taken, but sadly it can happen. I would say, you're a virgin until you willingly give it away
   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
Nepenthe Offline
Snarkling
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Nepenthe's Avatar
 
Name: Stephy
Gender: Female
Location: Wild Wild West

Posts: 6
Join Date: May 19th 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 19th 2011, 03:12 AM

Depends on the person's view on what virginity is really. Personally I think yes, you're still a virgin, since you didn't make the decision to have sex.


"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
Earl Wilson
"I reserve my right to hate you, not because of your skin color or culture, but because you are an idiot."
Mike Hutchison
   
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
hey you beautiful <3
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
havehopeyourbeautiful's Avatar
 
Name: crystal stuart
Age: 17
Gender: I Am A Female Elf ;)
Location: taree nsw australia

Posts: 605
Join Date: September 6th 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 19th 2011, 05:16 AM

umm i would say u r coz i got sexualy abused by my dad i count my self as a vergin


be brave lifes to short make the most of it add me on http://www.teenhelp.org/ it will do u wonders xxx :P
who ever knows christabel add this group xxx http://www.teenhelp.org/socialgroups...%27s+stalkers/
love crystal

havent self harmed for 4 months
this is my girlfriend http://www.teenhelp.org/users/holliex/
   
  (#19 (permalink)) Old
Mellifluous Offline
Moo with me.
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Mellifluous's Avatar
 
Name: Anna, call me Rue
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Location: Minnesota, eh

Posts: 206
Join Date: October 1st 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 19th 2011, 07:59 PM

Hell yes, we're still virgins!!!!


You can find me here: http://mcrdoesmylaundry.tumblr.com/
Follow me, I'm pretty awesome


Gimme sympathy,
after all of this is gone.
Who would you rather be?
Beatles or the Rolling Stones?
Oh,seriously,
You're gonna make mistakes.
You're young.
Come on, baby.
Play me somethin'
like 'Here Comes the Sun'



   
  (#20 (permalink)) Old
hey you beautiful <3
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
havehopeyourbeautiful's Avatar
 
Name: crystal stuart
Age: 17
Gender: I Am A Female Elf ;)
Location: taree nsw australia

Posts: 605
Join Date: September 6th 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 19th 2011, 11:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FutureBroadwayStar View Post
Hell yes, we're still virgins!!!!

haha darling love the way u work xox


be brave lifes to short make the most of it add me on http://www.teenhelp.org/ it will do u wonders xxx :P
who ever knows christabel add this group xxx http://www.teenhelp.org/socialgroups...%27s+stalkers/
love crystal

havent self harmed for 4 months
this is my girlfriend http://www.teenhelp.org/users/holliex/
   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
Kendall Ann Offline
Kendall Ann
Not a n00b
**
 
Kendall Ann's Avatar
 
Name: Kendall
Gender: Female
Location: Missing in my thoughts

Posts: 74
Join Date: May 19th 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 20th 2011, 03:30 AM

I say you decide what counts as your first and what doesn't. It wasn't your schoice so no need to count it. You're a virgin.
   
  (#22 (permalink)) Old
vrgtfvgt4vg Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
vrgtfvgt4vg's Avatar
 

Posts: 243
Join Date: May 26th 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 26th 2011, 06:28 AM

I think you still are because it wasn't willing and you never wanted it to happen. You're not not a virgin untill you have consensual sex.

Last edited by vrgtfvgt4vg; May 26th 2011 at 07:44 PM.
   
  (#23 (permalink)) Old
cantchillax Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
cantchillax's Avatar
 

Posts: 5
Join Date: May 26th 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 26th 2011, 09:06 PM

Physically/technichally you no longer are. But you didn't consent so emotionally you are still a virgin because you haven't agreed to it.
   
  (#24 (permalink)) Old
PlayingPretend Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
PlayingPretend's Avatar
 
Name: Elliotte
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: California

Posts: 1,384
Join Date: October 19th 2009

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 26th 2011, 11:15 PM

I disagree with the idea that the physical definition of virginity is so generalised that it applies to rape, as well. I believe that virginity is not only the act of penetration but of making the choice for that penetration to occur. For me, virginity is something that is more or less "given" away by way of a choice; it's not something that can be taken. Therefore, I see the loss of virginity as being a consensual act, and therefore, I do still see someone as begin a virgin after rape.


If you feel you'd like additional support or to speak further with me, you can contact me through my personal Tumblr, Love Like An Hourglass (click), or PM me through TH.


   
  (#25 (permalink)) Old
Jesus paid it ALL.
I've been here a while
********
 
ALLorNOTHINGforCHRIST's Avatar
 
Name: Emily
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Georgia( the U.S. state)

Posts: 1,945
Join Date: June 6th 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - May 27th 2011, 04:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ready Salted View Post
Not physically no. But I think untill you do it willingly, you could call yourself a virgin
yes this. If I were abused, but had never consented to sex( neither are the case I have never consented nor been abused but if I had been abuse but never consented I would still call myself a virgin.




url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]


PM me
All or nothing for Christ Was I love dogs

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not parish, but have everlasting life John 3:16 ( 21st century King James Viersion)
   
  (#26 (permalink)) Old
BethanyAnn Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
BethanyAnn's Avatar
 
Name: Bethany
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: Louisiana

Posts: 270
Join Date: June 1st 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - June 1st 2011, 04:31 AM

I agree with this, I always considered myself a virgin, although my medical records say my hymen was broken at 6 to me I was still a virgin, and I think nothing is wrong with at all. I think it is actually normal to consider yourself a virgin... It will be okay.
  Send a message via Yahoo to BethanyAnn Send a message via Skype™ to BethanyAnn 
  (#27 (permalink)) Old
Gidig Offline
Optimistic pessimist
I can't get enough
*********
 
Gidig's Avatar
 
Name: Maria
Age: 22
Gender: Gender Neutral
Location: Colorado

Posts: 2,095
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - June 1st 2011, 06:08 AM

No, losing your virginity is also an emotional and mental thing in my opinion. To each his/her own but honestly something that special can't be taken from you by someone who was being a moron.



The best wayout is always through~
-Robert Frost

Proud member of the LGBT community.

   
  (#28 (permalink)) Old
x_sepi_x Offline
BrokenInside
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
x_sepi_x's Avatar
 
Name: Sabah
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 709
Join Date: May 1st 2010

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - June 2nd 2011, 08:17 PM

i was also abused as a child and got raped at the age of 10. Personally i don't belive getting raped makes you lose your virginity. Losing virginity is something pure and magical that you want to happen not scary and tormenting. So until you have sex willingly with the one you love you're still a virgin my dear.
x
   
  (#29 (permalink)) Old
HealingAngel Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
HealingAngel's Avatar
 
Name: Angie (or Ang)
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Location: West Coast, US

Posts: 243
Join Date: May 27th 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - June 5th 2011, 08:35 PM

This is a personal choice.

Physically it is obvious it is a no...

But you've never had sex.
You were raped.
It is so different.


When You're At The End Of Your Rope...
Tie A Knot... and Hold On... <3
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
I think I kinda, sorta, maybe... mighttt just love him after all...
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
Settle precious, I know what you're going through,
Minutes before you got here, I was going to jump too...
   
  (#30 (permalink)) Old
Dr.heather Offline
Banned
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Dr.heather's Avatar
 
Name: Heather
Gender: Female

Posts: 22
Join Date: June 3rd 2011

Re: Are you still a virgin after sexual abuse? - June 6th 2011, 02:30 AM

You might not be physicaly.. but you havnt really experinced what sex is supposed to be like untill you give yourself to someone on purpose cause you want to. I hope your able to do that one day as getting over such a thing can be hard.

Take your time and hope you have have good support...
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
abuse, sexual, virgin

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off





All material copyright 1998-2014, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.