How to help him?

[karlyann]

A couple of months ago I found out my brother was having sex with our neighbor. He's 13 now but it started when he was 12. She's in her 30s. It went on for over a year until we moved.

He said it was consensual, but I still think she abused him. She brought him into the house one day when he was playing basketball and he said it just happened. He said he didn't even realize what was going on until it was over, and he said he didn't like it at all. Then she started buying him gifts and stuff, and she told him not to tell anybody.

He's changed a lot since then. He's so quiet all the time. I know he was using drugs for awhile but he isn't anymore. His grades have gotten really bad, he skips school all the time, and he even had to change schools because he got kicked out. All he does is sit around and play his guitar.

I don't know what to do. Is that even abuse, or am I just overreacting? She didn't really force him to do anything, but he was only 12. He begged me not to tell our parents, but I feel like I have to.

Help, please?

[CollegeStudent19]

Yes that definitely was abuse, especially if she was in her 30s. You are definitely not overreacting.
I would try talking to him about it a little more and see if he'll open up to you a little more. Maybe mention that you've seen a little bit of a change in him. Just make sure not to get mad at him even if he doesn't feel like talking about it. If you react to anything emotionally or in anger, it can cause him to close up and not talk.
Maybe suggest to him that he should tell your parents about it and if he doesn't feel like it, then suggest to him you going to your parents.
Either way, I think it is something that needs to be addressed and he would probably benefit from talking to someone like a counselor or therapist.
Best of luck.

[BethanyAnn]

Yes it is abuse, and at 13 he cannot consent to that, even if he said he did the law won't allow that he is considered to young to make that decision that consent law is 17. Maybe you should surface talk don't really bring it up at first just see whats going on in his head spend some time together ask if he wants to do things and hopefully he will open up and later on he can get help.... This cannot be rushed though, this will only make him worse.