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Question What do I call this-still confused and freaked about it - August 2nd 2011, 05:29 AM

I was in the 9th grade (now going to 11th), and two of my best friends were dating a 12th grader and it kind of tore them a bit, but he was interested in my long haired friend the most.
The whole entire class took P.E around the same time, but the water fountain is located in the back of the gym behind some double doors and the teachers were all the way at the front near the entrance, so nobody really paid attention to him when he came in.
My friend wanted to go to the water fountain, and I tagged along since she didn't want to go alone, and he followed us. Because he was a playful person we were exchanging jokes back and forth and we were having fun.
Then, my friend went to the fountain and I went and stood next to it, right beside her, and he came over to where we were.
We were still playing around, so when he pinned me up against the cold wall, i didn't take it as such a big deal at first. Soon, I stopped laughing and told him to let me go. He didn't. As a matter of fact his playfulness had totally disappeared. He had no smile on his face..only this blank look.
He was ten times stronger than me, so I couldn't just get loose, and my friend only stood there and looked. She was near the exit at the time.

But, I told him a second time to let me go. and again he refused. I started to panic, because he wasn't saying anything, he was just standing there with me pinned against the wall..and he didn't let go. So, I demanded he let me go a third time, and he refused again.

I started to panic. I started yelling at him to let me go, and I soon begin to struggle. He knew I wasn't playing, and I knew I wasn't playing. I was completely terrified by then. I struggled and yelled for quite a bit, but he didn't let me go. He just had me pinned...with that blank expression. I tried to kick him and even stab him with the pencil in my hand, but he was ten times stronger than me and he had me by the wrists.

My wrists on opposite sides of my head pinned against the cold wall. I struggled harder than ever...screamed and yelled out of terror but he didn't let go...

finally, i stopped struggling and he gave me something like a lustful look and told me that he would rape me. He didn't have a smile on his face-i didn't have one on mine-nobody was laughing-and i was scared.
But thats when he let me go...i was shook up for the rest of the day. I was shaky with every step i took and i couldn't understand why. I kept telling myself that he was just playing, but it just wouldn't stick because i know that he knew i was terrified. he had to.

A few weeks later we had a seminar about sexual harrassment and the whole while the principals talked i felt pale. i was frozen, and i felt wierd and hurt in a way. then, a few days later, the 12th grader beat a girl. that day i was beyond terrified. I was trembling and very shaky..and very disturbed. when he beat her, it brought back the memory of what he did to me.

the thing is i don't know exactly what he did to me. i don't know what to call the incident or whether or not i should stil be a little frightened. i can't forget what happened. i'll never forget because I'll always remember the terror i felt at that very moment. i still can't decide whether he was playing or not. i just don't know. my friends had said i shouldn't worry because it was just a joke...but i just don't know anymore.
   
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Re: What do I call this-still confused and freaked about it - August 2nd 2011, 06:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deedra View Post
I was in the 9th grade (now going to 11th), and two of my best friends were dating a 12th grader and it kind of tore them a bit, but he was interested in my long haired friend the most.
The whole entire class took P.E around the same time, but the water fountain is located in the back of the gym behind some double doors and the teachers were all the way at the front near the entrance, so nobody really paid attention to him when he came in.
My friend wanted to go to the water fountain, and I tagged along since she didn't want to go alone, and he followed us. Because he was a playful person we were exchanging jokes back and forth and we were having fun.
Then, my friend went to the fountain and I went and stood next to it, right beside her, and he came over to where we were.
We were still playing around, so when he pinned me up against the cold wall, i didn't take it as such a big deal at first. Soon, I stopped laughing and told him to let me go. He didn't. As a matter of fact his playfulness had totally disappeared. He had no smile on his face..only this blank look.
He was ten times stronger than me, so I couldn't just get loose, and my friend only stood there and looked. She was near the exit at the time.

But, I told him a second time to let me go. and again he refused. I started to panic, because he wasn't saying anything, he was just standing there with me pinned against the wall..and he didn't let go. So, I demanded he let me go a third time, and he refused again.

I started to panic. I started yelling at him to let me go, and I soon begin to struggle. He knew I wasn't playing, and I knew I wasn't playing. I was completely terrified by then. I struggled and yelled for quite a bit, but he didn't let me go. He just had me pinned...with that blank expression. I tried to kick him and even stab him with the pencil in my hand, but he was ten times stronger than me and he had me by the wrists.

My wrists on opposite sides of my head pinned against the cold wall. I struggled harder than ever...screamed and yelled out of terror but he didn't let go...

finally, i stopped struggling and he gave me something like a lustful look and told me that he would rape me. He didn't have a smile on his face-i didn't have one on mine-nobody was laughing-and i was scared.
But thats when he let me go...i was shook up for the rest of the day. I was shaky with every step i took and i couldn't understand why. I kept telling myself that he was just playing, but it just wouldn't stick because i know that he knew i was terrified. he had to.

A few weeks later we had a seminar about sexual harrassment and the whole while the principals talked i felt pale. i was frozen, and i felt wierd and hurt in a way. then, a few days later, the 12th grader beat a girl. that day i was beyond terrified. I was trembling and very shaky..and very disturbed. when he beat her, it brought back the memory of what he did to me.

the thing is i don't know exactly what he did to me. i don't know what to call the incident or whether or not i should stil be a little frightened. i can't forget what happened. i'll never forget because I'll always remember the terror i felt at that very moment. i still can't decide whether he was playing or not. i just don't know. my friends had said i shouldn't worry because it was just a joke...but i just don't know anymore.
Have you told anyone? Cus I would. Guy sounds like a nutjob, and could just as easily do it again, and maybe worse next time. Even if he was kidding that is incredibly out of line. I would personally not risk it.


Self pity will not rescue you.
Sometimes we have to save our own lives,
not because no one else cares, but because no one else can.

Life for you has been less than kind
So take a number, stand in line
We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt
But how we survive is what makes us who we are.

Dreamed up the maps, give me the charcoal and the paper
We invent paths they cannot see, and they're too scared to walk


Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
   
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Re: What do I call this-still confused and freaked about it - August 2nd 2011, 06:50 AM

Tell an adult as soon as possible. He threatened you & he can technically be kicked out of school for that. Tell a teacher or counselor or even your parents & you have a witness (your friend). This should be taken seriously.
   
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Re: What do I call this-still confused and freaked about it - August 3rd 2011, 11:21 AM

I would say he threatened you, and I tell the school. That is very scary, I'm so sorry this had to happen!


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& the sun said “it hurts to become."
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Re: What do I call this-still confused and freaked about it - August 4th 2011, 05:55 AM

I would call it a close call. But definitely report him.
   
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Re: What do I call this-still confused and freaked about it - August 4th 2011, 06:25 AM

Hey,

It's obvious that he wasn't playing. You said yourself that the joking look left his face and he threatened to rape you. I would call that a valid threat. The fact that he beat a girl soon after that shows that he was not playing around when he threatened you. You need to report this immediately. Your are friends are wrong to say that he was just playing.

Take care,
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Re: What do I call this-still confused and freaked about it - August 5th 2011, 05:58 PM

thanks guys...thanks a lot..i really feel better knowing that somebody understands my situation
   
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