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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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bethechange Offline
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Is it Sexual Abuse? - December 11th 2011, 03:52 AM

The other night I was at a party and when the party was over I spent the night because I didn't have a safe way of getting home. I usually don't drink very much, but I had accidentally taken a shot that affected me more than I was expecting. There was this one guy who I had just met and he had kind of been flirting with me all night. When most everyone had left, we ended up on the couch and we kind of started making out. Then I guess he asked me to go downstairs (where we could be alone), though I don't really remember how I got down there at all.
We were on the couch downstairs and he took off my shoes and jacket. At this point I wasn't resisting at all, but then he started to try to take off my pants. He wasn't being very forceful and I was able to keep them on. When he realized I was struggling with him, he said something like "Just tell me to stop and I will." So I told him I wanted him to stop. He did for a minute and started to ask me questions about my virginity and things like "didn't I want to know what it felt like?" But after I said that I didn't he started touching me again and basically the whole thing repeated itself.
I was really sleepy and I was kind of fading in and out the whole time but it seemed like this happened 5 or 6 times and each time I told him no. Eventually he did get my pants off and at some point he took his pants off too. He definitely touched me a lot but we never actually had sex. I really thought that it might end up at that, but he got up to get something and I snuck out of the room.
He was also pretty drunk, and I think this may have been majorly responsible for his behavior. Also there was no real violence, just a little bit of struggle between the two of us. I'm not really sure if I resisted enough for it to be considered sexual abuse. I guess I just wanted to share my story with someone and ask if it really was sexual abuse?
   
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Re: Is it Sexual Abuse? - December 11th 2011, 04:09 AM

Was all you had was that one shot? You were probably drugged.

If you said stop and he kept trying it can be considered assault. Just because he was drunk doesn't make what he did excusable.

Sexual abuse is where someone forces another person to commit sexual acts against their will. Simply saying "no" is enough to turn sex into rape.


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Re: Is it Sexual Abuse? - December 11th 2011, 04:20 AM

I'm sure I wasn't drugged. My friend made the shot and I watched her do it. I had had another drink before then.
Thank you for your feedback.
   
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Re: Is it Sexual Abuse? - December 11th 2011, 05:02 AM

Yes this could be sexual assault since that is when you are touched sexually against your will. By what you said above it also seems clear that you told him no multiple times and he seemed to disregard them.

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Re: Is it Sexual Abuse? - December 12th 2011, 02:48 AM

If you were under the influence, legally you cannot consent to sexual intercourse. It was sexual assault, but it's murky because he was drunk as well.


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Re: Is it Sexual Abuse? - December 20th 2011, 11:00 PM

Yes, it as assult. You said no, you were "drunk" Under the law, (in NC anyway) If you are not legally able to sigh anything, you cant consent to anything. The way they tought us in school, if you couldnt drive a car (for what ever reason) you probly can consent to anything.

You have to also remember, he was drunk. More than likely really drunk. he only wanted one thing, and probly doesnt even remember what happend. Does this mean he can get away with it, NO.


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