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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Question Was this sexual abuse? - January 2nd 2012, 02:35 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hi, I am a new member here, and I am struggling with some memories of my childhood. From the ages of 9 to 11, I believe I could have been abused, but I'm not sure if it is abuse.

-A kid a little older than me first started my touching me inappropriately. He did this for awhile, and then he started fingering me. I told him it hurt, and I asked him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. I told my mom, but she didn't believe me.

-Neighbor kids used to force me to take my clothes off. When I didn't, they locked me in their garage, and threatened to kill me. One had a baseball bat. I'm missing some big details to this story, so I don't have a clear memory of what happened.

-More recently, my pastor gave me a weird massage, and was touching my breasts. He made me extremely uncomfortable.

Sorry, I can't share anymore, but was this wrong? Is this considered abuse?
   
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Re: Was this sexual abuse? - January 2nd 2012, 03:50 AM

Hey there, I'm sorry to say but to me it does sound like you were both sexually abused and molested. It sounds to me as I understand it that you were sexually abused by the guys who would lock you in the garage and threaten to kill you if you didn't take off your clothes. The pastor and other kid molested you. I'm sorry to hear this happened to you but I know that you can pull through any problems or things that you might deal with about this. Maybe talking to a counselor or someone like that would help you.


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Re: Was this sexual abuse? - January 2nd 2012, 08:14 PM

Hey there,

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I classify this as abuse because it was unconsensual and you were threatened. I just want to tell you that you did not deserve that abuse at all, no one does. I highly suggest that you speak with someone who can help you get the justice you deserve, such as a lawyer, detective, doctor, etc. It's important that you feel safe at all times and in these instances, you don't sound safe to me at all. Even if some of these events happened years ago, you can still do something to perhaps prevent it from happening to another person. Also, instead of bottling this all up inside of you, I really hope you'd look into talking with a counselor about what's happened to you. Talking about a hurtful event is important so that you can cope easier.

I really hope this helped you and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm just a PM away.

Take care,
Brittany
   
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Re: Was this sexual abuse? - January 8th 2012, 01:23 PM

I'm sorry it sounds like it was.
   
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Re: Was this sexual abuse? - January 11th 2012, 11:02 AM

Yes, I agree with the others. All of those things sound abusive.

The question is, where are you going to go from here to find healing? And if I may ask, what made you decide to think through and ask about these things now?


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Re: Was this sexual abuse? - January 15th 2012, 03:55 AM

Yes that is sexual abuse and molestation....and also sexual harassment the fact that your mother doesn't believe you is really disturbing...but if you need someone to talk to I am here. I went though the same thing in the exact same age range and it took a toll on me, still does sometimes but it made me stronger and hope it dd for you too...stay strong and hope everything is well (:
   
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Re: Was this sexual abuse? - January 18th 2012, 09:46 PM

Hi everyone. Thank you for validating my thoughts. Lately, I've felt discouraged because I felt like because my mom didn't believe me, maybe nothing happened. So I decided to come on here and get some opinions from people who may have been through similar things. I've had a hard time dealing with this because no one in my family knows what happened, and I feel like there is more to the story (I have partial memories of other abuse). I am trying to support other members of my family at this time, so I haven't really focused on my healing. I'm considering going to therapy in the future.

Thank you everyone,

Kelsey
   
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Re: Was this sexual abuse? - January 18th 2012, 10:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by viemexis View Post
Yes, I agree with the others. All of those things sound abusive.

The question is, where are you going to go from here to find healing? And if I may ask, what made you decide to think through and ask about these things now?
Justin, I repressed many of the memories, and I recently recalled them. This has caused me to reevaluate some parts of my childhood. For awhile, I didn't think it was abusive because it was another child, but after looking into it more and getting several opinions, I am now realizing that his actions were not right.
   
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Re: Was this sexual abuse? - January 18th 2012, 10:29 PM

All of that is considered abuse. Talk to your mom again about it and be clear to her about what happened. She maybe thought that since you were so young that your imagination was running wild, but in reality she should have been a better mom to you and be there for you. The pastor needs to be reported though. You HAVE to tell the police. He cannot continue to do stuff like this to innocent girls, and he could be doing this to girls other than yourself. As for the boys who where sexually abusing you, let their parents know. And if they don't care talk to the police then too. They need to be punished by law. Stay strong


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