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She made me cry - August 30th 2012, 10:56 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My new mental health nurse actually made me cry. I was telling her how I'm anxious about catching busses on my own and whatnot. She started telling me how at one point I may need to catch a bus to London on my own to have a meeting. She was just overwhelming me SO much. She was making everything seem a million times bigger than what it should be. I told her I'm into making my own soap and she started talking about turning it into this MASSIVE business.

I know enough about psychology to know people should be taking small steps. Don't let me think about being in London on my own.

I actually started to cry. Don't overwhelm me like that :| You shouldn't make clients cry. You should make me feel better about myself, not a million times worse. I feel so overwhelmed and shit right now. I actually wanted to cut myself when I got home, I haven't felt like that in years.

I have another appointment with her in a month. Should I complain about her? I know she was doing her job but making me feel like that is AWFUL. I was obviously overwhelmed, she seen me crying.

I haven't felt like this in years.


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Re: She made me cry - August 30th 2012, 11:28 AM

Hi Ceilidh!

I'm sorry you had such a stressful 'visit' with the new health nurse. But as upsetting as it was.... let me tell you something. Having been 'around the block' a few times AND having gone through exactly what you went through - I've learned something. SOMETIMES 'things' happen for a reason. And based on your experience - or more specifically - on how you RESPONDED to that experience - I can tell you - YOU just had yourself a 'good old fashioned' mental and emotional 'workout! [In a good way!] They say 'no pain - no gain' for weight lifting. Well... the same is true [sometimes] when it comes to our mental and emotional growth. Trouble is - you're not used to interpreting feelings like 'resolve' and 'standing up for yourself'' so you're internalizing them as something negative and awful. But REALLY - what you are going through is a GOOD thing. Now don't get me wrong. The health nurse should have known better. But she didn't. Fact is - you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. And you experienced a feeling that you need to give yourself more permission to feel. And that feeling [In addition to the two I already mentioned] is ANGER!! And I think that's GREAT! Anger can be a wonderful thing. Anger is often what encourages us to [Finally?] take better care of ourselves. Something really good can come from all of this. Just do yourself a big favour and see it for what it is. It was just another 'life lesson'. [As I call it] Another little 'push' to get YOU to be more supportive of YOU! In fact - that anger IS you standing up for YOU!! Imagine that!

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Re: She made me cry - August 30th 2012, 12:11 PM

Thanks Craig <333 I know what you mean. Me complaining about her shows that I'm improving in general. I wouldn't have had the balls to complain a few months ago.

My dad agrees with me. We're going to complain to the mental health team.

Rule number one when working with people with mental health problems should be, don't make them cry.


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Re: She made me cry - August 30th 2012, 06:18 PM

That's great that you've gotten to a place where you can stand up for yourself. I'm sorry the session was so overwhelming for you. I've definitely been to therapists that made me feel worse than when I walked in there. I think that it's just like any other relationship and sometimes a certain person just isn't the right fit. I've been seeing the same psychologist on and off for four years now and I've never had a problem with her. Sometimes it just takes a bit to find the right person.
If you go to another appointment with her, maybe you could tell her how it made you feel? If you're stuck with the same person, it couldn't hurt to communicate your feelings. That way she is better able to help you.
Also, if you ever feel triggered to cut again, make sure you check out the alternatives thread here.
Hang in there!
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Re: She made me cry - August 30th 2012, 07:02 PM

Thanks sweetie <3 Luckily I have the self-control not to self-harm anymore. I've decided to stop therapy in general. I've never found it helpful. I feel better with self-help techniques.

The only person who can sort myself out is myself. I need to sort my own head out. I'm a stronger person than this and I know I am, I've proven it today when I didn't cut myself.


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Re: She made me cry - August 30th 2012, 07:08 PM

I usually suggest therapy because that was the biggest thing that helped me, but you know yourself best and what you need. I don't know you, but I can tell that you're a pretty damn strong person just from this post. I believe you can do it.
Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk!


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Re: She made me cry - August 30th 2012, 09:58 PM

Hi there.

I'm not fully understanding what your mental health nurse actually did wrong? Can you explain this a little?

I'm glad you managed to beat the urges. Well done

Jessie


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Re: She made me cry - August 30th 2012, 10:26 PM

Talking about things obviously out of my comfort zone. She knew I was anxious about catching busses on my own and started saying how one day I may need to go to London on my own.

She also said that most people my age don't have their dad's driving them everywhere. She was just making me feel bad about every little thing.


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Re: She made me cry - August 31st 2012, 04:21 PM

Hi again.

I can understand its hard for you but sometimes when we're going through counselling etc, we have to talk to about things out of our comfort zones to beat those situations. Talking to people about things which bother and upset you or even make you anxious can help us learn ways to cope and deal with those things so that in the future, when we're put in those situations which lead to negative feelings, we know how to handle it and we can manage it. I doubt very much she was trying to upset you, but that she was trying to help you.

I can't see a complaint going far either because in my opinion, she didn't as such do anything 'wrong' but if you're no comfortable with the way you're both working together, why don't you try talking to her about that to plan on how you're going to work together in the future so she can help you overcome these fears and anxiety? I often think communication is they key to a lot of things. I know it might be hard but it might be well worth it.

Life starts when you step out of your comfort zone. I know that's scary in itself, but if you never talk about whats going on and how things upset you and make you anxious, you'll never learn how to deal with them and therefore never over come it.

You can do this, keep smiling
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Re: She made me cry - September 6th 2012, 12:50 AM

Hey there!

I just wanted to echo some of the things Jessie said, as well as provide a little more input (given my experience as a marriage and family therapist trainee). First of all, you said this was a new mental health nurse. She may have had a file on you, she may have known about your anxiety, and she may have known about your difficulties with busses... but that does not mean she knew what your "breaking point" was, or that she intentionally pushed you to that point. If that is actually what she did (purposefully made you cry and then failed to offer empathy), then a report is certainly justified! I'm guessing she didn't actually MEAN to make you cry, though.

When you started crying, what did she say and do? What did you say and do? I'm sure you've heard this before, but communication is key. I've had clients tell me what does and doesn't work for them, and I have always been SO THANKFUL when they've spoken up, because it allows me to adjust my approach according to their needs. It also opens up a discussion between us, where we can talk about their concerns/fears and how we can address them in therapy.

Believe it or not, therapy is NOT always going to feel "good." In fact, things often get worse in therapy before they get better, because you're finally digging into some difficult issues (and that often triggers people, tempting them to stop therapy altogether). If you truly believe that self-help books are going to be more useful to you than therapy, and/or if you're not ready for therapy at this point in time, then by all means, do what is best for you. With that being said, I hope you will AT LEAST meet with the mental health nurse one last time so you can tell her how that experience made you feel. Process the experience and gain some closure with her.






   
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Re: She made me cry - September 8th 2012, 10:18 PM

At some point in your life, you're going to use public transportation, regardless if the destination is London or elsewhere. Additionally, if you're making your own soaps, then I would also suggest that you should look into making your own business or join another soap-making business.

I'm in the same boat as Jessie and Robin since there is information missing regarding what your therapist did/said and background information.

Addressing the issues through psychotherapy or self-therapy is meant to have productive outcomes but the process isn't going to be pleasant or easy. You're 21 years old, you're a legal adult and you should face reality, at least some of it. If not, then every time someone gives you an ounce of it, you'll break down in tears. Your therapist was trying to help you, so you should continue seeing her a few more times before calling it quits.


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Re: She made me cry - September 9th 2012, 09:37 PM

Actually, could someone close this please? I was just hormonal that day and was upset about everything going on.

I feel much better now. I'm sorting my head out and I feel much happier.


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Re: She made me cry - September 10th 2012, 12:13 AM

Since the issue has been resolved, I am closing this thread.






   
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