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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
metalFireHorse Offline
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Question Can't handle all these emotions anymore. - March 3rd 2014, 06:06 PM

I need someone to talk to, I can't trust any of my "friends" I tend to not talk to anyone especially on facebook. But I get depressed because no one talks to me, that I don't have a lot a friends.
I want to do things like go out and hang with people, but then I don't want to be bothered, I don't want to be any were with anyone.
I want to love and trust my boyfriend again and there are days that I feel like my old self...but then there are days were I become so distrustful and distant to protect myself from getting hurt.
There are days were I find myself feeling great about how I look, then I begin to feel like crap.
Then there are days were I just cry...for no reason, it just comes out.

I'm just so mixed and all these things can happen in just a few hours, there is a way to suppress these but I gave my word I would no longer self-harm..

I don't know whats wrong with me, I was fine before "lets try open-relationship" back in 2011....and then all hell broke lose in the next two years...Cheating, back-stabbing, lying, losing a so called friend, becoming a parent to my nephew, smoking, drinking, cutting, having sex with multiple men, getting no-where in my life, more back-stabbing from my own blood, and trying to rekindle what me and him had....

I truthfully don't think its working...he flirts with so many women online, I feel inferior. like he only wants sex with me because the others are unobtainable. I feel like he might do it again. One side of me does not want that pain again, the other side doesn't care and just lays in wait...

What is wrong with me?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Can't handle all these emotions anymore. - March 4th 2014, 09:57 PM

Quote:
I don't know whats wrong with me, I was fine before "lets try open-relationship" back in 2011....and then all hell broke lose in the next two years...Cheating, back-stabbing, lying, losing a so called friend, becoming a parent to my nephew, smoking, drinking, cutting, having sex with multiple men, getting no-where in my life, more back-stabbing from my own blood, and trying to rekindle what me and him had....

[...]

What is wrong with me?
It seems like you already know what's wrong. You've dealt with a number of difficult situations over the past 2-3 years. Most people would feel emotional and overwhelmed. I'd say that what you're feeling is pretty "normal" given the circumstances, and there's nothing "wrong" with feeling the way that you do!

If you want to start healing and rebuilding your life, then you'll need to break away from these destructive patterns of behavior. There may be some things you can't help (e.g., raising your nephew), but there are many other things you DO have control over (e.g., your sexual and drug/alcohol-using habits). Start taking steps in the right direction, and as you begin to leave those old patterns of behavior behind, I'm sure you'll begin to find some joy in your life again. It will take time and effort on your part, though, so please be patient with yourself! =)

The Alternatives to Self Harm thread would be a good place to start. We also have the Relationships and Dating forum, if you want to post more detailed information about the relationship (since that seems to have a huge influence on your mental well-being).

Please know that you're NOT alone! Feel free to keep us updated on your situation, and to ask for support/advice whenever you need it! =)





   
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Its.Just.Angie Offline
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Re: Can't handle all these emotions anymore. - March 4th 2014, 10:12 PM

hey there,
First off there is absolutely NOTHING is wrong with you! I hope you are doing alittle bit better I just wanna say nothing is your fault either.

About your boyfriend, you have to go with your heart. If you think if it will work out in the end. I'm not gonna tell u to break up or anything. But I'm saying is you shouldn't let him do that to you, without your permission. And don't be afraid to say no. It the first and hardest step is to say no.

The emotions there is options you can handle it. One is you can try counseling or someone to talk to who can help you overcome with these emotions. You don't need to suffer them alone I understand it can be really hard to ask for help, but it helps a lot in the long run. Or you can try medication... But I hate taking mine so I understand that you don't want to try that route

For friends and stuff. If they aren't good friends, just don't bother them you don't need that in your life. You will find some good friends who actually respect you and stuff. And then you won't have to protect yourself and stuff. Then you have people to talk to. You can try a hobby or something so you guys have a common interest

I hope it gets better feel free to PM/VM me anytime
   
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Re: Can't handle all these emotions anymore. - March 8th 2014, 11:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by metalFireHorse View Post
I need someone to talk to, I can't trust any of my "friends" I tend to not talk to anyone especially on facebook. But I get depressed because no one talks to me, that I don't have a lot a friends.
You got the teenhelp community to, as new as I am, find one of the most welcoming out of the dozens of forums I've joined.

Quote:
Originally Posted by metalFireHorse View Post
I want to do things like go out and hang with people, but then I don't want to be bothered, I don't want to be any were with anyone.
This is just scattered ambivalence; gently monitor and see how you feel that very day and determine if you want to do things. Why not deviate the day. 3/4 at home, 1/4 going out? Or stay out as long as you want until you feel the need to go home. If you can't be bothered but you want to, force yourself or you won't feel too good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by metalFireHorse View Post
I want to love and trust my boyfriend again and there are days that I feel like my old self...but then there are days were I become so distrustful and distant to protect myself from getting hurt.
There are days were I find myself feeling great about how I look, then I begin to feel like crap
Then there are days were I just cry...for no reason, it just comes out.
This is where you have to build a tough and upholding rapport with your boyfriend to fix and revolve around your personal issues and how to keep them suppressed so they don't interfere with your relationship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by metalFireHorse View Post
I'm just so mixed and all these things can happen in just a few hours, there is a way to suppress these but I gave my word I would no longer self-harm..

I don't know whats wrong with me, I was fine before "lets try open-relationship" back in 2011....and then all hell broke lose in the next two years...Cheating, back-stabbing, lying, losing a so called friend, becoming a parent to my nephew, smoking, drinking, cutting, having sex with multiple men, getting no-where in my life, more back-stabbing from my own blood, and trying to rekindle what me and him had....

I truthfully don't think its working...he flirts with so many women online, I feel inferior. like he only wants sex with me because the others are unobtainable. I feel like he might do it again. One side of me does not want that pain again, the other side doesn't care and just lays in wait...

What is wrong with me?
Well, that's certainly something.
Nothing is wrong with you, its clearly been a very unstable past. Why are you staying with your boyfriend? What positives do you see in him? Have you confronted him about him flirting with the women online?



   
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