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TheQuietKid Offline
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Confused With My Mind - July 31st 2014, 12:23 AM

To begin Iíd like to mention that what Iím about to formulate is just my head sifting through its useless cycle of thinking. I want to put my thoughts into words because it sounds funÖHaha, thatís it. It sounds like a good idea to express the way I think through a vocabulary given to me by a government-run education. Thatís allÖ

Iím the kind of person who canít focus on a single thing for longer than forty minutesÖA single period in school. I like to just think deeply as if Iím some sort of prodigy of a philosopher. I cannot find a single interest in this life because of this and it irritates me to no end. Although, learning of unknown things is very intriguing to me and I love music. Altogether though, I truly donít know what I want to do with my life. Sure I have interests like everybody else on this planet, but Iím an anti-social, narcissistic fuck who canít come up with a solid thought. It makes me loath every part of life because I canít think straight. I also donít have any hope for humanity at this point due to the way technology is growing. Combine those two together and this is what you getÖMe.

I at this point have absolutely no idea as to how my life will pan out. Whether or not Iíll find that one girl that is just incredibly cute in my mind, or get stuck with one that is just fucking ugly. Whether Iíll find the job that my entire life has led up to, or the one that has me flipping burgers for our incredibly un-intelligent society. If Iíll produce a child that makes my parents happy, or one that will be kept hanging on by medicine. This scares me to no end by even thinking about itÖ

Music makes me happy though. And that is one thing that my mind can agree onÖ
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Philomath Offline
Love is > your mistakes
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Name: Christina
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Re: Confused With My Mind - July 31st 2014, 09:51 PM

Hi There!
Welcome to TeenHelp!
I think it is not unusual for some people to be very pensive. I am this way myself; I love thinking about things very critically and in depth.
I am sorry you are unsure what you want to do and that you cannot find your niche in the world with others or in terms of where you want to go but where you are now is a place many people are. There is a vast amount of opportunity and it takes a lot to decide what is best: college, trade/technical school, getting a job and making other choices. Many people get frustrated because what if what they choose sucks and is pathetic to those around them, what if they think they like some area and go to trade school and realize "oh crap, that is not for me" or what if they disappoint family or themselves by spending copious amounts of time/finance trying to plan and find where they fit in?
This is all normal and it does not point to you being weird or different in any way.
I really believe it would be best for you to talk to someone that can help you see the things you are really good at and that can help you gain a more positive outlook on things. This can be your parents, a guidance counselor, psychologist or other mental health professional. If you talk to a counselor or psychologist, they can help you with finding strategies you can use to organize your thoughts and figure out what you are good at.
You mentioned you like music and that is all you really know. That is a start: you are not completely lost. If you like music, there is a vast amount of things you can do: teaching, conducting, writing, performing, editing, DJ or many other things. Some will depend on if you are a people person and others will depend on other strengths: if you are not a people person maybe writing would be better than teaching or performing but if you like people, those options are available.
I hope this post is useful and that things improve for you soon.

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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confused, mental health, mind

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