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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
JustSoCasual Offline
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Question Help figuring the real me out? - October 12th 2014, 10:36 PM

Hi,
Okay so I'm writing this because I seriously have nowhere else to go and I feel as if I have something seriously wrong with me.

I am very antisocial. In school I despise almost everybody, maybe aside for the two or three whom are nice to me. If I'm spoken to or asked to speak, I get really warm and nervous and I just can't and everybody thinks it absolutely hilarious. Some of my teachers have hurt my feelings and joked about me in front of classes and spoken to me outside where even then I find it impossible. It's also been joked by my ex best friend than I was emotionless. And I can understand that. I don't understand how people can be happy when I'm sad and upset and isolated. Strangely, I want to be alone around people but when I'm alone I want people? Explain that?
Another weird thing, I've looked this up but found nothing, when I get emotionally hurt by words, I feel pain and not just in my heart, chest, or stomach, but almost everywhere, my back, legs, arms, head ect. And when I get physically hurt, I feel it in my heart and chest, not really where I was hurt.
Before I have had whst could be explained as a panic attack, I freaked out and I felt like I was drowning and I was crying and and it went on for about 20 minutes.
I may also want to mention I self-harm.

Thanks in advance, x


my head is screaming

my heart is bleeding


Last edited by JustSoCasual; October 12th 2014 at 11:07 PM.
   
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Re: Help figuring the real me out? - October 12th 2014, 11:36 PM

Hi there,

When I was like 12 I was on almost the same boat.. I was REALLY quiet and a little antisocial and I was made fun of because of it. (Not a lot but occasionally) and to this day I prefer to go solo and stuff.. But yea... I totally understand where you are coming from

But I really recommend you don't self harm cause it gets worse and stuff and you might be fully aware of that, but still don't... There is alternatives to self harm thread if you want to see

Maybe you want to see a professonal as they may help you because teenhelp can only get so far.. None of us (maybe a few) are professionals ! They may help you go through whatever your going through and maybe help find out what's "wrong" with you. They can help a lot if you let them

I hope I helped! Feel free to PM/VM me





   
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Re: Help figuring the real me out? - October 13th 2014, 10:15 AM

The problem about seeking professionals is that my parents would question me going out too much and they are the last people I want to tell right now. My guidance teacher at school would maybe understand, but she'd want to tell my parents..
I was thinking about waiting until my school reports come out then talking to my guidance teacher and begging her not to tell until we find a conclusion.
Any ideas to add?


my head is screaming

my heart is bleeding

   
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Re: Help figuring the real me out? - October 13th 2014, 11:14 AM

Hi Aimee,

Iím not a professional, but from what you have described it does sound like you may have some anxiety and panic attacks.

I have always been quiet, even as a child, but like Angie, when I was 12, I felt the same as you. I never felt happy and I never had any friends- instead I disliked everyone, because I thought they disliked me. When I felt upset, even by a Ďsimpleí comment, my chest would hurt so badly. I hated talking to people, and only did when I had to, but even then I felt my face burning up and my voice shaking. I started having panic attacks, when I was 13. It was a really scary experience because I didnít know what it was and had no one to talk to. I thought I was going insane.

To deal with anxiety and panic attacks, try some deep breathing exercises to help calm you down. Remind yourself of where you are, and that you are safe. When it comes to talking to people, try to remind yourself that they wonít judge you. Also, Iím wondering how your self-esteem is? If you feel negative about yourself, try writing down you positive qualities and read them every day. This will help to boost your self-esteem, and may help when you talk to other people.

I want to assure you that you donít have something seriously wrong with you. Some people are just naturally introverted and prefer being on their own. But even they might get lonely and want some people around them. Sometimes, anxiety gets the better of you, and you would prefer being on your own, but then you may feel low about being on your own. This is very common in people with anxiety.

Iím sorry that your teachers and ex best friend have joked about you. Perhaps they didnít realise you got hurt by what they said?

Even though you may feel sad, lonely and isolated, it may be difficult for others to pick up on this. Unfortunately, people make wrong assumptions about quiet people, so that adds to the problem as well. I think that if you started telling people how you feel, then they may be more understanding of your feelings. Perhaps you could talk to your family or a teacher first and then maybe friends, just letting them know how you feel?

As for self-harm, here is the link that Angie suggested: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t9418-alternatives-self-harm/ Self harm may be a coping strategy, but it is unhealthy and you should try to use the alternatives instead of self-harming.

I definitely agree with Angie about talking to a professional such as a counsellor. Do you have a school counsellor? You could talk to them, without your parents being suspicious of you going out. As far as Iím aware, counsellors will only tell your parents if you are a danger to yourself or others. Iím not sure if they would class self-harm as a danger. Perhaps you could ask? Your guidance teacher sounds very understanding, so you could talk to her too.

Is there any particular reason you wouldnít want your parents to know? Parents are supposed to support you, and Iím sure they would want to know whatís wrong and how to help you.

You could also check out our hotlines: http://www.teenhelp.org/hotlines/ for advice on mental health and self-harm, and how best to get support.

Take care and feel free to P.M me anytime


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Re: Help figuring the real me out? - October 15th 2014, 09:40 AM

Yeah parents are the most important person in someone's life. So I suggest that you should open it up to them. I know it is hard, but once you get used to it, it will be better. Communication is the key to a good relationship with your family. I know that they are willing to support you. Help them help you.

And try to talk to a professional for your self harm so that they can figure out how to help you.
   
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