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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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uhohmykokoro Offline
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Unhappy Insecure about my illness? - September 2nd 2017, 11:35 PM

For the past year (or maybe, since I entered high school), I've been extremely overwhelmed and stressed out. I, and I'm sure a professional, would say that I'm depressed, but none of my family seems to think so. My parents have made no move to help me, and my sister had the nerve to tell me I was just exaggerating. My grandparents ask me if I'm okay, only to turn around and tell me that nothing is wrong with me.

Besides that, whenever I tell people about my problems, they seem very insignificant. I don't know how to describe it, but whenever I verbally express my feelings, they sound so stupid and fake. That makes me feel even worse.

I'm a senior now, and I thought that knowing this is my last year would motivate me to make it to graduation. It's getting harder and harder to want to keep going, and I have a feeling college won't be any better.

Any help is appreciated
   
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Re: Insecure about my illness? - September 3rd 2017, 12:33 AM

Hey there! I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through - I think I went through something very similar when I was in high school, and I know that it can make you feel even worse when the people around you are invalidating your feelings. It's also very confusing to realize that your problems don't sound so terrible once you express them out loud - but that's kind of what depression is, a lot of the time. Depression can make "normal" stressors feel much, much worse, and it's easy to fall into a cycle of feeling bad because you feel bad, but remember that this isn't your fault. When you're depressed, a lot of things are just harder to manage, and that's okay.

With that in mind, please know that stress is a very valid reason to be feeling terrible, whether you are depressed or not! And long-term, high-level stress can definitely have negative effects on your mental health, especially if you are sleep-deprived and/or not giving yourself time to calm down and take a step back from everything once in a while.

Might you be able to talk with someone outside of your family (preferably an adult) about what's going on? Someone like a teacher, coach, religious leader, school counselor, etc. could be a good choice. You could also ask a parent if you can go to the doctor, and then spend some time alone with them without your parent in the room so you can discuss what's been happening. And something to keep in mind: It's possible that your family really can't tell how terrible you're actually feeling if you're not showing any obvious signs of this on the outside. I went through the worst years of my life right in front of my whole family, my coach and team who I was close very to, my friends, everyone...and even though I think I did fairly frequently show signs of being very stressed and unhappy, I don't think any of them ever knew just how bad it was. My mom still thinks I handled high school well. So because your family can't see how you're feeling with their own eyes, they may have a hard time comprehending how difficult things are for you right now. It may take some more communicating and explaining before they're ready to understand.

Remember, you've already made it to your senior year. You only have 8-9 months left and then you're done. It'll all finally be over. And you have every reason to believe that college will be better! I struggled with mental illness all the way through high school graduation, and then I left home for my freshman year of college, and it ended up being the best year of my life. I truly can't wait to go back to school in a few weeks, and my entire life is different now than it was in high school. College is honestly so much fun, and it's an amazing fresh start; you get to choose your major, all of your classes, what clubs you want to join, which people you want to be friends with, whether you want to go to class at 8 a.m. or 6 p.m. People genuinely want to be there. It's completely different from high school. And yes, depression might follow you to college, but every university I know of has great health and counseling resources, and they're often very affordable for students or even free. I was able to see a therapist on campus for about 4 months this past year without paying anything, and my parents never had to know about it! So remember - this isn't permanent, and you may have much better things right around the corner.

Hang in there. I hope this helps, and feel free to message me if you want to talk any more.


"Chase your stars, fool. Life is short."

   
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Red face Re: Insecure about my illness? - September 3rd 2017, 06:29 AM

Concinnity, thank you so much for your kind words. I already feel better than I did earlier

I think if I reach one of my mental plateaus again, I will actively seek some help. It won't be easy, but I'm going to push myself to make it through the year. I've worked too long and too hard to give up on myself.

Referring back to college, I'm actually very excited for it, but the application process is stressful (it's like I'm the only one who cares about getting stuff sent on time ). Hopefully, it will all be worth it in the end.

Again, thank you, and I hope you enjoy your school year!
   
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Re: Insecure about my illness? - September 3rd 2017, 11:57 PM

I'm so glad my response was helpful. And if you end up reaching out for help, I hope that it goes smoothly! I've been through that process before (multiple times haha), so if you want any advice or have any questions about how to go about it, feel free to message me!

And good luck on your college applications. They're definitely stressful, but worth it in the end!

I hope you enjoy your school year also! Congrats on being a senior!


"Chase your stars, fool. Life is short."

   
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