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lauridoglover Offline
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how i have been feeling - November 8th 2017, 10:58 PM

Just need to talk and have some human interaction.

So I'm 25 and all my life always been late to everything. I hate I'm like this. A job I had like 3 years ago, I was always late to. Looking back I don't know how I wasn't fired for that.

My current job I have now. I am happy, I have improved and on time. I'm on time because I figured out a way to make sure I'm on time. I was always late in the past because time would get away from me. I would be getting ready for work in the bathroom where there is no clock and then when I would come out; I would realize oh sh it I have to leave now for work. So I now set an alarm for when I have to leave; so that time doesn't get away from me. I'm on time but barely making it though. Ugh maybe I really do have ADHD, because I know that's an ADHD thing, always being late.

Just wondering if anyone else is always late or have a hard time getting to work on time? I just don't get why it's so hard for me to be on time for work, why its such a struggle for me. Maybe because I really don't want to get to work. I just wonder why im like this. I think easy answer maybe, that im tired and don't want to get up or that I don't want to go. I just wish getting places on time was not a struggle for me.

So I usually only have one day off work not 2 days off straight. I have so much to do but instead, I decide to sleep, eat and watch tv. I hate that I'm lazy and no im seriously not depressed. I just hate my laziness. I just love to sleep and no im not depressed. This irritates me too . There has got to be a lazy gene because i got it. I hate my laziness soo much and it hasn't been easy at all to snap out of it. I have always been lazy my whole life. Anyone else like this and hate it ?? I seriously hate how lazy i am, I have so much cleaning to do around the house and I haven't done it }:

Life is just going by way too fast and that scares me how fast its going. I feel im runing out of time to get things done that need to be done. I just feel stuck in a way. I know I need to stop being lazy but its hard not to. One therapist told me its avoidance not laziness but in some situations, I would sya yes it is really lazy ness. Maybe lack of motivation but thats still laziness. Im lazy I don't like any thing that takes too much mental effort and thats not really fun to me. I want to be a therapist, go for my masters but at the same time I hate school work and studying and don't know how i managed to get a bachelor's but I did.

Even if i take Vyvanse a stimulant, it doesn't help get things done. I can sleep on vyvanse. I really hate my laziness and everyday things that need to get done are on my mind but I still refuse to do them or put them off for a long time.

Has any one ever felt this that there bored with life? Like wanting something more but not sure what . its a weird feeling. Like im single and all i do is work home and repeat and I feel so just empty and bored. When I have days off im like what the hell is the meaning of life. Eat, sleep , watch tv. I guess I crave adventure and I don't have thta which sucks. I feel amaizng when im in love and wish I had love , a bf.
   
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Re: how i have been feeling - November 10th 2017, 02:51 PM

I've struggled with lateness too. Oddly enough, I never used to, but since I started feeling low and struggling with things in general, I have found myself late and rushing for things. I think there is a link between being on time and your mental state, but maybe not necessarily an ADHD thing. It's good that you've tried to find ways of being on time and using an alarm clock. I think it's also possible that perhaps when we aren't looking forward to wherever we are supposed to be going, we may end up being late as we may be trying to avoid being there. I don't know if it'll help you but I find that telling myself that I'll be late if I don't leave by a certain time and I'll be rushing to get there helps me to leave on time, since I hate rushing as it increases my anxiety.

I don't think your lazy. It just sounds like you put off/procrastinate things that need to be done in favour of doing things that you enjoy doing. I'm sure most of us have done that many times, though I understand that chronic procrastinating can make chores pile up. Again, not sure if it'll help you, but it can help to break tasks up and make them smaller e.g. rather than trying to clean an entire room in one go, perhaps split the room into areas and designate 5-10 minutes on an area each day. Not only that but you may find that once you start cleaning, you'll get into it and may do more than what you originally set out to get done. Sometimes, I think starting is the hardest part!

Laziness, avoidance, procrastination...these are just terms to label behaviour. I imagine that telling yourself that you are lazy probably isn't helping much either. Even though you don't like school work or studying, you've proved to yourself that you can achieve things- your bachelor's for one. I'm sure that if you want to be a therapist, you can achieve your masters too.

Unless you have been prescribed vyvanse, I wouldn't advise taking it. I know it's hard when everyday things need to be done and you put them off, but it can help you to feel more productive trying to get things done sooner, rather than having them weigh on your mind when you keep putting them off.

It's understandable that you feel restless with life if you crave adventure but feel stuck in a cycle of work and home. Can you think of any safe ways to get adventure? Being in love can definitely feel amazing, but it's good to have interests outside of relationships too.


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Re: how i have been feeling - November 15th 2017, 04:57 AM

Yes, I agree starting is the hardest part. Glad someone i can relate to. I hate rushing too but still a late person or barely making it. Yes, looking at everything i have to clean is overwhelming even though I know once its clean it will feel good. im prescribed Vyvanse and only take it as needed. I can sleep on vyvanse so it's really not that amazing.

For some reason when Im in a relationship like with a guy I get this amazing high feeling, natural high. Like over the top happy and it feels good. Adventure and doing silly things with people that play along also gives me that amazing high feeling. So for now i have no friends or bf so no I can't really get that amazing natural high feeling from just being with myself. adventure with your self is just boring.
   
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