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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Did my angry outbursts ruin our family vacation to Orlando. - December 5th 2017, 11:16 AM

Hi everyone


I am going to make this short and sweet but firstly please don't mention getting help from my local mental health services I have tried this many times and been declined because they don't think I am ill enough they do not take anger issues seriously enough.


I went on vacation to Orlando with the whole family and on occasions I got very angry like the time when I opened a drink and it started fizzing out of the bottle and going all over my new football shirt which I was wearing. I shouted and started swearing and I believe I threw the bottle on the pavement. My family get very upset when I swear I am the only one who swears and I constantly swear because of my anger issues. I feel bad because it was my nana last ever holiday. They all know I have these angry outbursts it's nothing knew I have had trouble with my anger all my life and I am not going to go in to detail about every single outburst because it will take forever but it happened probably once every 2 days or once a day over a 2 week period which we were staying over there it generally happened every time something went wrong or someone upset me. I do have ADHD which I believe contributes to me nasty and angry outburst this just doesn't happen on holiday it happens all he time at home the other day my mum upset me so I called her a bad word and shouted at her it happens all the time and often causes upset in my family.

I don't mean to be nasty to people I am a very nice and polite person but when my anger gets triggered I turn in to like this evil monster. I think everyone just ignored me when I went mental on holiday everyone seemed to have a good time but I still feel bad about my outbursts.
   
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Re: Did my angry outbursts ruin our family vacation to Orlando. - December 5th 2017, 07:19 PM

I don't think your anger outbursts ruined the family vacation...that's up to you and your family to decide. What is clear though, is that you struggle with your anger. It's good that you recognise that the anger is causing problems for you though!

How do you usually try to deal with your anger? Maybe you can try listening to your body for signs that you are getting angry such as breathing faster, clenching your fists, feeling hotter etc., and then leaving the situation to calm down. Perhaps concentrate on counting backwards from fifty, listen to relaxing music, sipping a cold drink, playing a repetitive game, or if you have to get your anger out, punch a pillow, rip up paper etc. If you are worried about lashing out at family members, then it is better to leave the situation until things have calmed down.

I understand that you don't want to be told about mental health services, but I'm wondering if you would be willing to try self-help? There may be anger management courses that you could join whether in your area or online, and there may be some apps that could also help you to manage your anger. If you can afford it, you could look into private therapy. You'll have to pay but you will get taken seriously. And if you haven't already, you may want to talk to your doctor about treating your ADHD such as with medications.


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Re: Did my angry outbursts ruin our family vacation to Orlando. - December 5th 2017, 10:54 PM

My doctor said the nhs will not fund medication for my adhd. I'm considering starting kick boxing as a way of coping. I don't have much money.
   
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Re: Did my angry outbursts ruin our family vacation to Orlando. - December 7th 2017, 08:47 AM

I think that kickboxing is a good idea, but I also encourage meditation and perhaps other activities like pool/chess/card games like magic : The gathering to focus your mind on. These games and activities help you to cultivate a calm, peaceful mindset which will go a long way towards suppressing and overcoming your outbursts. Also, remember that anger is just a reaction towards an event/ outside stimulus that is affecting you: The better you control how things affect you, the less you'll be affected by whatever's going on.

Hope that helped. Also remember that a lot of people are dealing with the same thing : We can all help each other out!

Much kindness and warmth,
Darren


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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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