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Can't make it STOP - December 18th 2017, 11:51 PM

for a month or so now I've been experiencing these extremely abrupt and obnoxious thoughts that will just enter my mind and I can't make them stop.
as a result of these thoughts I will have to do these ticks. just like random motions. it's often my hands or my feet will just fidget, move my fingers in certain patterns, or kick back and forth to deal with the thought I guess? this is all very scary for me because I have absolutely NO idea how to make it go away. it's terrifying to not be able to stop my own mind from thinking something.

most of the time these thoughts will come to me while I'm driving. it just started one day whole I was driving, and something so violent and disturbing just randomly popped into my head. like, the very thought surprised me, I didn't expect it at all and it made me jump and swerve the car. that just happened once and then nothing happened for a couple of weeks so I never thought about it again.
I never saw the Saw movies, so I watched them all on Netflix one week, and these thoughts started around then. but I've watched gore, violent YouTube videos, and horror movies for as long as I can remember, so it doesn't make sense that this would happen from gore that's just special effects and makeup.
but maybe twice a week for a few weeks this thought would come up about one of the traps in the movie, which was a blender like thing with blades in it. and I thought about being in that and having the blade specifically cut my cheek. and I could almost feel that cutting my cheek over and over just repetitive thoughts. and id rub my cheek and rock back and forth and try to make it stop but it wouldn't.

it stopped for a week. then three days ago I experienced another one. I always try to floss but it's hard because when I floss my bottom front teeth it makes a sound and feeling that makes me really uncomfortable and I can't do it. it's like one of those sounds that just gets to you, like nails on a chalkboard or something like that. I just can't deal with it.
but three days ago, I forced myself to floss there and ever since then the thought of that has randomly been entering my brain and this is actually the worst one because it just never goes away. I can always feel it and it makes me fidget the worst.

sorry for the writing errors, I'm typing this on my phone because it's finally gotten so bad that I need help right now.
I know intrusive thoughts are a part of OCD but I've never experienced it before all this. I know they can also come with anxiety but im not really under anymore stress and anxiousness that Im normally under. I did get out of that really bad relationship, but it just seems so unrelated to this.
I just want to know how to make it stop.

i don't know what i'm supposed to do
haunted by the ghost of you
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Re: Can't make it STOP - December 19th 2017, 12:14 AM

Obtrusive thoughts are hard to deal with. Most of the time, I just ride them out. When I need to get rid of them, I sing songs in my head. If you replace the thought with something that's still "catchy" but more positive, it can help. Hopefully that helps a little, sorry if it doesn't. Hugs
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Re: Can't make it STOP - December 19th 2017, 04:54 AM

It is possible that the break up has caused you to have certain emotions that could be leading to this. It might not seem like you are overly stressed or feeling emotional over it but there are so many things that come along with a break up and so many different ways to deal with it.

That being said, I will sometimes get thoughts like these at random and there really isn't any type of stressor. I know I tend to get them a bit more around the Holiday season and during the summer and I think I kind of know why but I cannot be certain.

It might be worth it to talk to a counselor about it? I know it can be really awkward to bring things like this up (I know my thoughts make me feel like an evil person) but a counselor would probably be able to tell that they are intrusive thoughts and you have no desire to act on them.

If you cannot get in with a counselor it might help to make yourself think of something a big more positive when you get the thoughts. I don't know if I am explaining it correctly but when I get thoughts like this I will sometimes force a more positive memory such as me doing something fun with family or friends or cuddling with my pets. It helps to stop obsessing about the thoughts. It doesn't always work, of course, but it has helped me to stay calm while dealing with the thoughts.

Best regards.

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make, stop

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