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Noire Offline
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Quitting IOP? - September 15th 2018, 03:33 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Triggering: ED, self-harm, suicide

I am currently in an IOP (intensive outpatient program) for my eating disorder. However, in the last several weeks, my Bipolar Disorder has gone out of whack. I was depressed, then manic due to a medication change, and now I am depressed again, worse than before. I am dealing with uncomfortable intrusive thoughts and urges that make it hard to get through the day. My psychiatrist is aware of my situation and we are making medication changes; however, as some of you may know, improvement in that area takes time.

Currently I am able to commit to safety (over three months without self harm now!), so I don't need to be hospitalized, but it's still hard to get by each day. As a result, my feelings about IOP are complicated. On the one hand, it's become a bit of a stressor; every time I arrive there I want nothing but to go home. Usually it turns out okay, and I sometimes still get stuff out of it, but it's still stressful to get myself there and to try and be present for the groups. For this reason, I am tempted to quit. However, I have to admit being in IOP gives me some extra structure, which is something I desperately need right now. I am also off my meal plan; my depression has got me emotionally eating almost every day because I can't seem to find comfort anywhere else but food. This is bad because when I eventually DO feel better (if I keep this up) I'll want to restrict again.

So, I don't know what to do. I both love and hate IOP and I don't know what's best for my mental health right now. I plan to speak to my therapist about this on Tuesday but I'd love some advice in the mean time. Thanks.

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Last edited by arepo; September 15th 2018 at 07:38 PM. Reason: Moving to Mental Health as it fits better there. :)
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Re: Quitting IOP? - September 17th 2018, 02:41 PM

Things you have to do throughout the day can be really difficult when you're struggling. You mentioned getting structure and help with your meal plan out of IOP and that is a good thing. Do you think the structure and meal plan support outweighs the struggling to get there and stay present with the groups?

It can be very challenging to do even things that are helpful to you but if you're getting support out of it, maybe you could consider hanging onto it for a little while longer and then see what happens.

You mentioned talking to your therapist about this which is a good idea. Do you think it would help to talk to anyone else in your life about it? They might have their own perspective or thoughts to offer for you to think about.

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