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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Fishermanmax Offline
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Loneliness - February 24th 2020, 06:34 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am 32 years old tomorrow. I have a job, higher and secondary special education, housing, a stable income, an airbag from cash accumulations, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink alcohol at all, I’m of average height and weight, I’m a little pumped up, but I am so disgusted by loneliness. I feel that I live my life in vain. Old hobbies do not please me, and they don’t attract a new one. Recently, suicidal thoughts have plagued me more and more. I am very lonely. Every day I feel gnawing sadness and sadness because of my loneliness. I never had a girlfriend, I never had a relationship with girls. My circle of acquaintances is traditionally small, but in recent years I have moved to the other end of the country, I can’t build friendships. In my youth I tried to get acquainted, but the girls rejected me all the time. I met on the streets to no avail. I tried to get acquainted on dating sites and on social networks, but also everything is useless - ignoring and refusing. I tried to use pickup things - it did not help. When I lived there where I was born, studied and grew up and asked that they help me and introduce me to a girl, then I never was free. I tried to communicate with different, and with beautiful, and ugly, and divorced, with girls younger, older and with peers - the result is one - failures. At one time he tried to beg his wife from God, or at least that he would save me from moral suffering, but in vain, God does not hear me at all or does not want to help me. Several times a day I get into a very depressed mood. I have already developed a strong impression that I will never have a girl, that loneliness is my eternal companion, every year there will be less chance. Although why less? And now, in principle, they are not. I'm desperate. I also had girls with whom I fell in love, but they also always rejected me. I do not know what it means to be a loved and desired person. And I will never know. Reciprocal love is not for me. It’s so bitter for me, my soul suffers so much that it’s beyond words, sometimes there’s a lump in my throat and my eyes are moistened with tears. I am tired of this life. I'm tired of suffering loneliness. I'm tired of being on my own. Women always choose anyone, but not me. More and more often I think about how (methods of suicide) I don’t know how to withstand all this. The realization that the prospects for my personal life I have is about zero, really hurts me in the psyche. I feel bad, I feel very bad, I am very bitter, death seems to me the only sure way out of mental suffering. It remains only to choose a method so that for sure and a minimum of physical suffering was before death and everything, further I will be free from this sad life.

Last edited by Celyn; February 27th 2020 at 08:20 PM. Reason: Moved post to it's own thread :)
   
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Re: Loneliness - February 27th 2020, 08:45 PM

Hey there,

I moved your post into it's own thread as I feel you'll get more responses this way.

I'm sorry to hear how lonely you are and that your hobbies no longer satisfy you. It's understandable that frequently feeling lonely may cause you to feel suicidal. But it doesn't have to be this way.

You mention that your old hobbies no longer interest...what about taking up new ones? Or maybe learning a new skill, or volunteering? These are great ways of keeping busy and you'll get the chance to meet new people too.

It's also understandable that you would feel down if you've never had a relationship with a girl, and this seems important to you. It's good that you've tried dating sites and other options, though I'm sorry to hear this hasn't worked out for you. Try not to be too discouraged though- dating sites are often inundated with problems like fake accounts, or people not using such sites regularly. I understand you try to learn and use pick ups, but it can be best to just be yourself, as cliched as that is. Rather than trying to meet all sorts of different girls, it might help to look for people who are interested in similar things as you or who share similar values. This may mean it is easier to get to know each other and have more of a potential for a relationship.

It is hard if you have wanted a loving relationship and have not found this yet. But it might help to realise that despite not being in a relationship, there are other people who love you. Friends and family can be good sources of love and support. You might also want to try focusing on developing more friendships, if you feel you have a small social circle, rather than focusing specifically on finding a relationship. As the saying goes, don't put all your eggs in one basket!

As difficult as loneliness is, it shouldn't lead you to feeling suicidal. Have you spoken to anyone about these suicidal feelings? You might find it helpful to talk to your doctor about how you have been feeling (you don't have to say that you are lonely without a relationship, if you don't want to, but it is worth talking about the suicidal thoughts). You may be able to get medication and counselling, which can help improve your outlook on life. You don't deserve to suffer


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