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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
savealife723 Offline
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they tell me to die. ): - September 4th 2009, 10:55 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

the voices that i hear tell me that i should die, and that i'm not worth living anymore.
they tell me ways to commit suicide, and when i close my eyes, they show me pitures of suicide that i don't want to see.
my dreams are about suicide, it's like they control me. /:
i'm scared.
i'm constantly scared.
i keep praying and pray for them to go away.
i don't want to die. /:
they tell me that god's not enough to save me now.
THOSE LIARS.
and now they won't stop telling me to die.
"you don't deserve this life, you're not good enough, the world is better without you..." ect.
gah. /:
tell them to stop!
pleasee. i just want them to stop.
they cause my anxiety and i'm going to die soon.
my medication isn't enough to shut them up. /:
please tell them to stop.
i don't want them anymore.


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
MadPoet Offline
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 5th 2009, 12:02 AM

Hey Kayla. I'm really sorry you're going through this right now, I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with. I don't know a lot about these types of things, but do you think it would be possible to talk to the doctor who prescribed you with the medication you are currently taking? I would definitely call your psychiatrist and tell them what is going on. Maybe they could up the dosage of your medication, since it obviously isn't doing much good at the time. I think talking to your doctor would be the best thing you can do for yourself.

If you feel like you're in danger of hurting yourself because of this, tell someone. If you feel unsafe because of what's going on in your head, someone needs to know about it if you cannot get a hold of your doctor just yet. Even if you may not get the voices to go away as fast as you would like, make sure that you are safe and are not in a situation where you may cause harm to yourself.

I'm here if you need to talk, PM me anytime. x





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 5th 2009, 12:10 AM

I agree that you should talk to the doctor who gave you the medication about possibly getting a change in dose or a change in medication.
I'd also like to add that I know what it's like to go through with what you're going through. I had something very very similar happen to me a couple of years ago and you can get through this. It just takes time and a good doctor who listens to you.
If at any time you feel that you can't cope on your own with this or that you need to do what the voices tell you to do then I would suggest going to the hospital emergency room. They're actually very friendly there and will understand that what you're going through is tough and help you as best they can and do as much as they can to keep you safe.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 5th 2009, 05:54 PM

Hi Kayla

Im sorry about what are going through. I can understand. I hear voices as well. Telling me negative things. I know how hard things are.

You need to be able to control the voices. Dont let them destroy you.
Although all I can say is what has been said already about you getting your medication increased or changed I felt like I needed to respond to you because I know what its like.

When I start hearing voices I usually do something to distract myself.....I watch T.V or listen to the radio or I write how Im feeling on paper. Or I just ignore. Never ever let them take control. You are in control. Do not respond. Do not let them get the satisfaction they want. The more you ignore, the better chance you have.

If you feel you are in danger, then please get help. Hearing voices is very very horrible and you dont deserve to be put through this trauma. Go to the nearest hospital. They can help. They helped me. They will not judge you, they will try and make you better.

Do not let the voices spoil your life. Get help. Please.

I believe you can get through this, it may take time, but just take things slow, no pressure and try, just try. I have faith in you.

Jaymi
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 5th 2009, 06:20 PM

hi,
i know how you feel. i hear voices like that. its very scary and confusing, isnt it?
please hang in there. dont let them controle you. dont give them the satisfaction of you listening to them. i know you can make it through.
talk to your doctor about it. he can give you better meds or just help you in other ways. but please also tell else someone about it. maybe a trusted friend or parent or something. it will feel much better when you talk about it.
if at anytime those voices tell you to commit suicide and you feel like you will, please do something. call an emergency number, a friend, a suicide hotline or something!
i know all this sounds easier said than done because the voices seem so overpowering. but you need to get help. please hang in there. just think about the peace you will feel when you get help and those voices leave you alone =)

good luck and PM me anytime
   
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savealife723 Offline
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 6th 2009, 09:24 PM

i feel like they will never leave.
i'm so vulnerable, it's like they're feeding off my weaknesses.

i want to get help, or go to an emergency room when i hear them, but they won't let me. they say that they'll never leave if i do.
they say that they're only trying to help.
but they scare me.
i don't want them.
please. help me.


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 6th 2009, 09:38 PM

You should go to the emergency room no matter what they say. The medication you're on doesn't seem to be working very well right now and the best way to find the right amount of the right medication is sometimes to be in a hospital. A hospital is a safe environment where there are people there all the time to help you get through this situation.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
savealife723 Offline
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 6th 2009, 09:39 PM

i'm afraid to go to the emergancy room, i don't like making them mad. /:


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
KoKoEm Offline
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 6th 2009, 09:58 PM

Kayla,
They can't harm you unless you listen to them.
So far, you are doing great not listening to them, but you don't want to wait until it's too late and that happens.
Please, go talk to a doctor or go to the ER. You need to probably have your medicine switched or something.
They won't hurt you.
If you need, you can IM me or something anytime.
<3 Em


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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Hide The Scars Offline
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 6th 2009, 11:28 PM

Yah they can only hurt you if you let them, and the longer they're around the higher the chance that it will happen. The best thing you could do for yourself is to seek help somewhere, the ER would probably be the most immediate and I'd suggest doing that especially if there's no way you can contact your doctor right at this moment.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
savealife723 Offline
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 6th 2009, 11:59 PM

my therapist is dumb and doesn't listen to anything i say.
he's a jerk and i can't stand him!
i used to talk to him about things,
but he made me feel like crap about myself.
it made me want to die.
so now i never tell him anything.


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 7th 2009, 12:31 AM

How long have you been schizophrenic?

Look, I know that it doesn't matter what anyone tells you, you're not going to believe that the voices are not real people. But if you had the complete reassurance that those voices were just the anti-consciousness of your own brain, would you feel better?

Right now you're lost in a state of mind that has you constantly focusing on the voices as if they were real thoughts coming from real people that could do physical harm to you. Honestly, no it can't. Wholeheartedly believe it. Fretting over the voices being able to inflict suicidal thoughts into your brain is just going to make it worse. You don't want to be caught it a loophole. There is no step by step process that is going to be able to guide you out of this mess but there are a few techniques that you could try which might help. First, you're going to have to be firm, really firm, and say 'stop' everytime a suicidal thought crosses your mind, and then use your energy to erase those images, literally. Meanwhile, preoccupy yourself with the meaningful things in your life, the stuff you like and enjoy. Try not to associate these happy thoughts with your voices; think of those thoughts as if you were your own separate entity and these thoughts are purely yours not the voices. You don't have to reply or explain any of these thoughts to it.

The next time it tells you that it's going to kill you if you don't reply to it. Don't listen, let it go right ahead. The key is to not be afraid of it, not to panic. If you are genuinely calm and relaxed, you'll sooner or later realize that it can't hurt you.
   
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 7th 2009, 01:09 AM

Since you're having troubles with him, see if someone can recommend you a new therapist. You don't deserve to go to one that just makes you feel worse than you already do.
Please try to get this figured out dear.
<3 Em


This is how it ends
We believe every lie & say we'll still be friends
How long will it last
Before we scratch all the scripts & rework the casts
*Hourglass by the Hush Sound*


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  (#14 (permalink)) Old
savealife723 Offline
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Re: they tell me to die. ): - September 7th 2009, 04:48 AM

To Life:: i've heard voices since i was... ten? they didn't start harassing me and being rude until a year ago. i didn't really tell anyone about it. i thought it was just puberty or something. but then i realized that it wasn't normal, and i started becoming really frightened of them.
they are just voices, and i know that. but it seems like they can hurt me if they try hard enough. because they enjoy controlling me. and i'm weak. so most of the time, i let them. i'm so used to people telling me to go die, and i always listen. it's best. it really is.

maybe i should.
thanks for the help everyone.
but i'm done.
this battle i've been fighting, i can't win.


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
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