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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Stained Dreamer Offline
I will not be treated that way
Average Joe
Stained Dreamer's Avatar
Name: Nicole
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: i don't have a location- i wander

Posts: 172
Join Date: August 5th 2009

I want to make friends but seriously can't - October 10th 2009, 02:09 PM

So I'm at a new school and I need to make friends. I have some problems though-

a) I shut people out
No joke. I really do shut people out. I don't tell a whole lot and make them want to leave (because I'm being such a pain) when they try and help me.

b) I have a fear of getting attached
Ever since I moved three years ago, I've been really depressed about leaving the one place that I knew so well and I knew people and everything. I was sooo attached and then we had to leave. That really hurt, and so I haven't gotten attached to anything since- except for things I can bring with me (books, knowledge, music...). The only time that I ever let myself get attached was when I was at a summer camp where people really understood me, and so I got soooo attached to that place. The last time I can ever go back is this summer, and I have to go because I need to be there at least one more time.

c) I don't fit
I feel like I don't fit anywhere- around here especially. It's a small redneck-y town and it's pathetic. I can't relate to anyone because the only thing that people relate to here is...here. They've all been here their whole lives and I haven't (I moved from 500 miles away in a big city- and we're in a SMALL town). People don't care as much about their grades, and school is literally my LIFE (I want to be a college professor and open up my own school).

Do I need to see a psychologist or something to solve these problems? I'm starting to be like House (before therapy) minus the vicotin addiction (if you've seen the show, you know what I mean).

I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Want to hold on, and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me, but I'm still here
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friends, make

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