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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

View Poll Results: Do you tell your friends/family/boyfriends about your mental health?
Yes, they all know 7 14.89%
My boyfriend/family/a few friends know 22 46.81%
No, I don't tell anyone 11 23.40%
I wish I told them 7 14.89%
Voters: 47. This poll is closed

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Alexx Offline
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Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 29th 2009, 02:52 PM

I never thought I'd be making a thread like this - although you should tell friends and family, I didn't think boyfriends would come into the equation.

I'm just wondering if you talk about your mental heath to your friends? Mental health being if you suffer with any disorders, are unhappy, and so on.


I've been unhappy for a long time, recently started to seek help for it, and am now seeing a counsellor for a few weeks. Whether it helps, I don't know.
She thinks I may have depression.
However, there is a boy I've come to like quite a lot. We aren't going out or anything, but if something was to happen, I'm unsure whether to tell him.

I'm just wondering if I should or not? I've never been out with anyone because I've always been afraid too, as it's such a personal thing. I'm scared they won't like me if they find out the deeper details, I guess.

So yes. Do you tell your friends/family/boyfriends about your mental health?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 29th 2009, 03:00 PM

My brother and my parents know, my girlfriend knows, too. I have told a few friends, only trusted ones. I don't tell many people because I'm worried of them judging me.
I think that you should talk to him, perhaps not right now. Wait until you're ready. :] Good luck.
If you need anything drop me a pm.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 29th 2009, 03:06 PM

Hey there Alex,

I honestly think that this is a decision that you should make yourself, as it's a very personal thing. If you want to tell people about your mental health then you should feel able to do that, if not, then that's okay too. No one has to know anything that you don't want them to know.

Personally, I talk to basically everyone about my mental health. I struggle a lot with it and I figured that it's easier that they just know and that i'm open with them about it instead of me having to make up excuses as to why I'm not at school/always at appointments/acting differently. With me speaking so openly, it also lets my friends ask questions about mental health and therefore [hopefully!] remove some of the stigma surrounding it. I have one friend in particular that I've talked to about mental illness and helped her to understand it more.

I haven't had any bad reactions to my friends knowing what's going on and I don't see why I should. I'm able to explain certain things to them that they may think 'why' or be shocked at. I'm the same person I would be if I didn't tell them about my mental health. Other than that, people are pretty understanding.

Overall it is your choice.
Take care.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 29th 2009, 03:26 PM

Thankyou both for your imput

I'm a little nervous about people judging me too. My friends know about the panic attacks, because it's easier that way, but as for everything else, only 2 of them know.
I think I'll talk to him though.. if anything happens.

I admire you Stephanie for being so open about it xD It must be very, very helpful having people know the situation.. and not having to hide and keep it.

My family don't even know the situation - although they know I suffer with panic attacks. One of my friends knows about the counselling, depression and anxiety, then another knows just about the anxiety, but that's as far as it goes.

It's the boyfriend thing that troubles me. I don't mind so much that my friends don't know, but if a boyfriend who I was really serious and commited to had troubles, I would want to know so I could help.
I know that's a long way off, but if we were to go out, should I tell him about the depression before? He could escape before it got to serious.

Gah, I don't know, I'm thinking too much about the situation.
   
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 29th 2009, 04:16 PM

my friends know about my problems but i didnt tell then,we dont talk bout that kinda shit but after hangin with the same group for years we all pretty much know whats wrong with each other


“Chaos is the score upon which reality is written.”
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 29th 2009, 04:22 PM

Family, yes, they pretty much know it all. So do close friends. Don't have a boyfriend, so none on that part.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 29th 2009, 04:22 PM

Alex,
I agree with Stephanie. You have to make that decision for yourself.
Family, I don't really tell about depression or anything. I can't get myself to.
Friends, most of mine know. I hang out with three guys almost all the time now. One of them can all me on being upset before I even realize what's going on. Another one can call me on it when I'm hiding it and almost no one else can tell. The third, we're too worried about to let him have to deal with our stuff too, but he knows, none the less.
You have to decide for yourself whether you feel comfortable telling them or not.
Emily


This is how it ends
We believe every lie & say we'll still be friends
How long will it last
Before we scratch all the scripts & rework the casts
*Hourglass by the Hush Sound*


PM me =]

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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 29th 2009, 10:20 PM

Always do what feels best for you (:
If you feel like it would help for him to know, then tell him. But if you think that it might be too hard or are unsure about it, then you don't have to.

My whole family know, but thats because i've ended up in hospital so many times that they've needed to know. My boyfriend knows as it's pretty hard not to see scars on me, and being as open as I can about it makes us feel closer.
My friends on the other hand... Well from when I was at school, basically everyone knew as one friend told everyone else. So everyone ignored the 'depressed one'. But now i'm at college, I wanted a new start. So only one of my friends know. I didn't mean for them to find out but I had a panic attack and she told me how she got them too. It's nice knowing there's someone that understands.

xx
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 30th 2009, 06:44 AM

I discuss my mental health with all my close friends, because honestly it'd be almost impossible to keep it a secret for very long. Them knowing also helps them stop me from making bad or impulsive decisions.
The way I see it, if you tell somebody and they react badly to it or alienate you then they weren't worth your time anyways. A true friend will accept you regardless of what may or may not be wrong with you.

Telling people is always something that is a decision to be made by you. If you don't feel comfortable telling someone then don't sweat it.


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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 30th 2009, 03:26 PM

Not really, I used to, but now I kind of just feel like I'm repeating myself.


Who do you carry that torch for, my young man?
Do you believe in anything?
Or do you carry it around just to burn things down?

Meet me tonight on the turnpike my darling,
where we believe in everything.
If we sweat all these debts then we're sure to drown,
so let's strap ourselves up to this engine now
with our God who we found laying under the back seat.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 30th 2009, 04:52 PM

I hide it from my family but tell my friends.
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - November 30th 2009, 05:17 PM

I think it's great that you're seeing a counselor Alex, and I do hope that it helps you deal with the problems you're struggling with. I agree with what has been said, though, that only you can decide whether or not you have reached the point in your relationship with someone where you feel comfortable telling them about your mental health issues. I think the best time to tell someone is when you have formed the right amount of trust with the person, and you can feel comfortable revealing this part of yourself.

As for me, my whole family knows about my depression and some about the self harm, simply because we're an extremely close family and it is close to impossible to keep things from each other. If it were to have been my decision they would more than likely know about the depression, but not the self harm. As for friends, I had one friend I confided in a lot last year, and she knew about it all. Unfortunately, that friendship didn't work out so well for a few reasons, so she's not as close of a friend any longer, but still someone I occasionally speak with. I am more open about my depression now, and if someone were to bring it up, I would have no problem telling them about it. The way I figure, it's better to reveal a part of yourself that you're not sure will be accepted, then trying to accept the pain and the loneliness you feel when no one does know.





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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - December 12th 2009, 03:18 PM

Thankyou everyone for you replies I really do appreciate them, they've all helped so much.

Thankyou. ♥
   
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - December 12th 2009, 03:32 PM

Well, I have borderline personality disorder, so my friends/family/boyfriends need to know that I have it in case anything happens.

I do tell them and talk to them about it, however, I don't tell new friends unless I desperately need some distance.

I understand, you don't want to be judged, but people tend to understand more if they know what's going on.

Just yesterday I was with my partner and my BPD kicked in and suddenly, I just went really uquiet and turned over in his bed so he couldn't see me, thats the way I deal with it, however, even though he knows, he doesn't really understand how to deal with it yet.

If ever, you feel like you need that distance from someone, don't hesitate. More likely than not they will understand if they know about your mental health issues. I noticed that before I told my boyfriend, we got into continuous arguments and when I finally told him and explained it all, he understood completely and was extremely supportive.

If this boy isn't supportive of it, then he really isn't worth it, as is the same with friends. If they're not willing to share your heartaches with you, its not worth getting too close to them as you'll just end up being let down.

I must admit it did take me a very long time to open up to my boyfriend and let him know about all this but it's made us stronger as a couple.

It is up to you how you deal with this. If you don't want to tell anyone then don't, but you will have to try and control it when you are around them as they will eventually realise something is wrong.

Personally, I find it easier that people know so that if I do have an "episode" or whatever, they can know how to deal with it rather then think that its something they've done wrong.

It's never easy opening up and telling someone one of the most impotant things to you, that can affect your life in such a way but from personal experience, I do not for one minute regret that I've told anyone.

As said before, it is your own decision. If you ever feel like you need to talk about it then feel free to PM me.

Hope this has helped x


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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - December 12th 2009, 05:20 PM

I usually joke about it with a few friends because one of them in particular also has some mental disorders. I don't tell them about any "struggles" because in all fairness, every person is going through some issues and I figured might as well not burden them since I can tell one of my friends is far worse than I am to a point where people questioned about hospitalizing him.

Usually I don't bother though simply because nobody has ever approached me about it as it blends in. My parents know of it though, although they don't mention it to anyone else, however, my father at least said he would if I was the kind where people would clearly notice something is very off and ask if it's a mental disorder or if it's some funny stuff. But since it's concealed very well and since I have very good control over it, he doesn't.

Some of my friends know that I'm studying psychology and physiology, so they'll come to ask me perhaps about someone else. I'll get asked about my well-being if it's clear as day that I'm acting very unusual but I've been able to control that so it no longer happens.

It's not something I divulge to anyone in public because it's against social norms and it makes the interaction very unusual and strained.
   
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Re: Do you talk to your friends about your mental health? - December 12th 2009, 06:00 PM

My family and good friends do know about it.

My family knows more, and my friends pretty much know the bare minimum of whats going on. I try not to talk about it alot, and sometimes we even joke about it. I don't tell any random person though because I feel that this is very personal information.
   
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