TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
sunken Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
sunken's Avatar
 
Name: anthony
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 39
Join Date: December 1st 2009

am i becoming psychotic? - December 1st 2009, 08:47 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

hello everyone,its been a while since i been on here.i forgot my old pass so made a new account.

anyway,i have these really violent thoughts,and getting worse.sounds silly but im even starting to think that maybe something dark has gotten into me, aka spirit attachment.i have thoughts that im sure arnt mine,telling me to kill myself or others.i get urges to kill,but i self harm to help get rid of these.iv cut off all my friends,and iv given up looking for work after nearly two years of searching.doesnt bother me tho becouse im thinking of suicide and it does make me feel better.

the reason i feel like something is in me is becouse i feel like somone is telling me to destroy myself and encourage me to do things that will fuck up my life. ive been to doctors and all that,im on meds.which help my paranoia.i also feel like something watches me when i sleep,so i moved back to my mums and it was ok for a while,but now i think its watching me again.i find it hard to sleep again.

iv threatend people with knives and iv hurt friends,and i get urges to kill someone who annoys me in the slightest way.its so fucking frustrating becouse i dont want to do it.but i feel i have to or i will be branded a big pussy forever.(i was picked on badly in school becouse i didnt stick up for myself)

thanks for reading if u did.just needed to get it out,got no one else to tell this crap to
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Nightblood. Offline
jus drein jus daun
I've been here a while
********
 
Nightblood.'s Avatar
 
Gender: She/Her
Location: United States

Posts: 1,820
Blog Entries: 37
Join Date: January 11th 2009

re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 1st 2009, 10:44 PM

It doesn't sound like you're psychotic. However, it sounds a little like it could be schizophrenia. But don't take my word for it, I'm not a doctor nor have I had experience with it. I think you should talk to your doctors about this though.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
SimplyComplex Offline
SimplyComplex :)
I've been here a while
********
 
SimplyComplex's Avatar
 
Name: Melissa
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Canadaland

Posts: 1,316
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 5th 2009

re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 1st 2009, 11:01 PM

Hey,

I really doubt you're 'psychotic.' A lot of people misuse that term. Really, I think that there probably is a solution to what you're feeling. It might alarm you and come across as psychotic because it's abnormal to you. The good thing is you're noticing these abnormalities. Serious or not, I couldn't say. However, violence is never something we want to occur as our reaction. Especially if we're not used to feeling such anger towards something. I can't say what it is that might be wrong, but I can say that you're noticing it, and that's good.

The next step to noticing these changes is to watch them and be able to describe them. Maybe take an hour or two to really think back and write down some descriptions on how you used to feel, when these feelings emerged and how they're affecting you today. Then, I suggest you speak with your parents or a doctor. Because these are violent thoughts, try to do it sooner rather than later. Not because you might be a danger, that I can't know, but because it can be very distressing to feel so angry all the time. And over an amount of time, it can mentally and physically take its toll on you. So, to help you sort this out as soon as possible, it's best to tell someone as soon as possible. I don't think it's something that you can't get treated. If it's something that is slowly evolving, you might only need therapy. However, at some point, medications may be suggested. Just remember that this can be treated in a way you're comfortable, but it does still take an initial jump to start the healing process.

You do have people to talk to here and it's always best to vent these strong urges than act them out. So, for now, try journaling when you want to act out in rage. This might help you calm down or post pone a reaction. However, either way, you should talk to your doctor about this. Take care of yourself.

Have hope,
-Melissa


01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
sunken Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
sunken's Avatar
 
Name: anthony
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 39
Join Date: December 1st 2009

re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 2nd 2009, 09:20 AM

thanks for the replys,thing is i dont trust my doctors anymore so i dont tell them anything.all my doctors are men and i dont trust or get on well with other men.i like the idea of keeping a journel,writing does help me vent out.

last night i heard like scraping footsteps getting closer and closer to my bedroom door,no one was up,i got up and shut my door and they stopped.dont know whether or not something is following me or its all in my head.so i didnt sleep well again.what do u think about this?
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
TheBabyEater Offline
With A Sprinkle Of Cinnamon
I've been here a while
********
 
TheBabyEater's Avatar
 
Name: Marissa
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Iraw

Posts: 1,705
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 2nd 2009, 07:49 PM

You're situation is starting to sound more and more like my boyfriend. Who was put on medication for schizophrenia after he got real bad and I forced him to get help... honestly, although I always have and always will love the guy, he scared me. Not that he'd hurt me, but that he'd hurt someone else or himself and get into trouble and be taken away from me.

So, I completely understand why you're untrusting. Opening up to people is a very hard thing to do, but it is definatly possible. So that's what I highly reccomend. Schizophrenia presents itself in many different ways, vioces, sounds, hallusinations, paranoia, depression, antisocial, and just the feeling that there's someone else inside your head. Some people have a few of the symptoms, some people have all. BUT, I cannot diagnose you. I jumped to Schizophrenia because of my experiences with it. In these kind of mental health situations, if you're looking for a certain thing, you're going to find it. You also could simply have paranoia, or maybe it's just stress or some other thing that I havn't even heard of. Wouldn't surprise me...I'm young afterall
To be diagnosed, and to get help, you need to tell a doctor or psychiatrist. You can ask for a female one if you'd like, the people are very understanding when it comes to that at psychiatrist offices. (the people at doctor offices arn't as knowledgable and might just think you're a pervert -.-)

So, what I suggest after dealing with this from my boyfriend (and to be fair, a very small amount of it myself) is that you search yellowbooks or something for a nearby psychiatrist office. Make an appointment or walk in, and talk to someone. That's the only way to get diagnosed and get help =/

In the meantime, you gotta work on stopping your violent urges and try to stop hurting yourself. Take it out in other ways. We're always here afterall.



Take me seriously.
I dare you.



  Send a message via Skype™ to TheBabyEater 
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Hey Nikki! Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Hey Nikki!'s Avatar
 

Posts: 293
Join Date: June 11th 2009

Re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 2nd 2009, 09:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunken View Post
i dont want to do it.but i feel i have to or i will be branded a big pussy forever.(i was picked on badly in school becouse i didnt stick up for myself)
That's it right there. You're not psychotic, you're just scared. I've been bullied for a long time now, and sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, and something's really wrong with me, but there's not. We're doing this out of fear, and because we don't want to be labeled as weak. Because people who are seen as weak get picked on...I've been there...

I understand, it's stressing you out. It's perfectly normal to want to go on a murderous rampage against people that have bullied you before. Just don't act on it or cause any harm. You don't have to fight physically to look tough.

The things other people can say can REALLY affect us. I used to be a pretty happy kid, but when other people started tormenting me, it got so bad that I heard things in my head too, even in my nightmares. I feel mentally insane at times, and I want to get into fights, but I control myself.

So yeah, it's not a spirit inside you. It's a voice in the back of your mind that's afraid of failure. At this point, it may be hard to just 'drown it out.' I don't think it's Schizophrenia, but I would see a therapist- because these feelings can have an effect on everything you do.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
puala__koala Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
puala__koala's Avatar
 
Age: 27

Posts: 137
Join Date: February 28th 2009

Re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 2nd 2009, 11:34 PM

the fact that youre doing all those thing is definately not good but i dont think youre psychotic (if you were youd think your behavior and thinking is logical so you wouldnt be posting about it)
i think you just need to go to therapy. and btw dont worry too much, it just makes it worse. for about several months last year i became really stressed and i didnt know how to take it out so i stopped talking to most of my friends (i thought none of them loved me for no apparent reason), i became obsessed with this girl, and i thougth that my parents were evil and trying to control me and were paying someone to go to this room next to mine and spy on me adn that if i turned this fan on was my only protection against this spying. lol. i also thought my cat was god.
but yeah. its all just stress. youre not crazy (okay maybe a little bit). i talked about all this stuff with my psychologist and eventually i got better and now i know how to deal with my stress.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
sunken Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
sunken's Avatar
 
Name: anthony
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 39
Join Date: December 1st 2009

Re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 3rd 2009, 12:50 PM

thanks for all your replys,all good ideas =] i dont think of my cat as a god but he gets treated like one lol. thanks everyone
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Pandamonium Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Pandamonium's Avatar
 
Name: Steph
Gender: Female
Location: US

Posts: 1,613
Blog Entries: 4
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 3rd 2009, 12:55 PM

Would have a woman doctor make it any easier for you? If so, that may be something worth considering.

Also be open to trusting men, at some point in time. Not all of them are out to hurt you or are not worth trusting, some of them are good guys. Again though, that is something that will take some time to come to terms with. Yes, there are the ones out there who have done wrong but it doesn't mean that all of them will be that way.

As for the noises, it's really easy to hear one thing and make yourself paranoid about it. Whenever my house is silent, I often hear things that I think are another person or something moving, when there actually isn't anything there. Houses tend to make their own noises.
  Send a message via MSN to Pandamonium  
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
puala__koala Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
puala__koala's Avatar
 
Age: 27

Posts: 137
Join Date: February 28th 2009

Re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 3rd 2009, 09:21 PM

i think you should consider getting a cat if you dont already have one. theyre soo darned cute <3
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
sunken Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
sunken's Avatar
 
Name: anthony
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 39
Join Date: December 1st 2009

Re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 4th 2009, 07:26 PM

haha i got three cats including my mums who i look after cos shes disabled,they are cute,a pain also lol but they make me laugh. its like what nothing-but-regrets said,if i ask for a female doctor theyll probaly just think im a perv,i can only open up to women.if im talking to another man i just get the impression he isnt listening and just thinks im stupid.nikki iv thought of that,i think the bullying has made me oversensitive to negative remarks.
and another thing that annoys me is that my dad knows about all the dumb things i did when i moved out,like threatening people,kicking off in pubs and being a twat,and he still calls me names like pussyboy.it just makes me worse and makes me want to do more and more extreme things.
in febuary i robbed the newsagents across from me and took a big overdose,but i got scared and called an ambulance,spent the night in hospital,and the police did nothing but ask me afew questions and that was it.and i still feel like a coward,i feel no matter what i do i will always be the kid that never sticks up for himself.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Hey Nikki! Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Hey Nikki!'s Avatar
 

Posts: 293
Join Date: June 11th 2009

Re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 4th 2009, 08:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunken View Post
if im talking to another man i just get the impression he isnt listening and just thinks im stupid.
No offense to you or anything, since you're a guy, but I've found that most guys were clueless when it came to helping out in emotional situations. They just don't know what to say. I think it's perfectly fine to have a woman help sort out your feelings, rather than a man saying, "tough it out!" because it's not that easy.

One of these days, you'll be confident to defend yourself...I would know. Last year, a group of kids (one kid especially) tormented me so bad, I just eventually snapped and yelled right back at them. Ever since then, I've gained confidence against any enemy I ever made. With every person you stand up to, you get better at it- if it's a person who is constantly hurting you on purpose, go for it.
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
sunken Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
sunken's Avatar
 
Name: anthony
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 39
Join Date: December 1st 2009

Re: am i becoming psychotic? - December 6th 2009, 10:08 AM

thanks,i think your right.most men are clueless as to helping me out with that sort of thing.glad to hear your gaining confidence agaisnt them arseholes =]
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
psychotic, triggering

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.