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I feel like people are uncomfortable around me =( - December 24th 2009, 01:49 AM

OK, i'm naturally a very quiet person.

I've accepted that...

I try to be as outgoing and friendly as possible but i've found that when other people initiate conversations with me they usually go better than when I start them.

But nobody talks to me!!!

I don't know... I get the impression people are uncomfortable around me or something and it's not too great

I think some people misinterpret my quietness for me being stuck-up and mean or something. But REALLY i'm like the least judgemental person in the world!!

Like at work i'll always say hi to people but that's really it. (I don't really know what else to say) and i'll be as nice and friendly as i can but i don't know... I still feel like they maybe avoid me or are just uncomfortable around me =/

I'll also have days where my self-esteem is really hurt and I can't really muster up much enthusiasm when talking to people so those probably hurt my friendly-outgoing image and make me seem anti-social... but I cant help it! Honestly I still try to smile and all but it's hard =(

I don't knoww..... I just feel like everyone fits in better with each other and i'm struggling to fit in...

Anytime I get the impression someone feels awkward around me and makes me think "what am I doing wrong?" and then i'll begin to doubt myself, argggghhh.

Then again i've only been at my current job for just over 4 months so it could be possible they just don't know me yet?? (But i still feel really comfortable around them)

Any advice would really help!

How can I make people feel more comfortable around me?? Or make me seem more approachable?

Thx!
   
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Re: I feel like people are uncomfortable around me =( - December 24th 2009, 02:06 AM

If you feel awkward around yourself, which it sounds like you do, other people will feel awkward around you too. Ever notice that people who look confident, draw confident people in?
If you show you love yourself and are confident in yourself, other people will feel more comfortable around you.
I'm quite a 'loud' person, and I feel uncomfortable around quiet people, because I feel like they're hiding something. I know its a stupid thing to think but its just how my head works.



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Re: I feel like people are uncomfortable around me =( - December 24th 2009, 02:34 AM

I understand how you feel completely. All during high school, I had the same problem as you. When I got to college, I thought that if I talked to everyone and made myself really approachable and friendly things would be better...but for some reason they're not. I acted confident and amiable and yet I still was left "out of the loop." I'm not sure what it is about me that people just aren't interested in. If you ever find out an answer to this problem, please let me know!



   
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Re: I feel like people are uncomfortable around me =( - December 24th 2009, 02:47 AM

I wish I could always be confident in myself... but it's hard sometimes :/
I still try and make myself seem that way even when i'm quiet though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sitting on the speaker View Post
I'm quite a 'loud' person, and I feel uncomfortable around quiet people, because I feel like they're hiding something. I know its a stupid thing to think but its just how my head works.
Could you elaborate a bit on that? Hiding what?
Sorry I just want to get an idea of how other people may view me so I can maybe do things differently.
   
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Re: I feel like people are uncomfortable around me =( - December 24th 2009, 02:51 AM

You don't have to be confident in yourself, you've just got to fake it.

When I say hiding something, I mean, I'm very...out there, if I think something, a few seconds I've said it, even the least trivial thing. Quiet people hardly talk, so I wonder what they're thinking, and silence can, in general make things really awkward as it is.

It sounds like you find it really hard to make conversation. If you get worked up about it, then other people will too. If you're relaxed about talking to other people, they will be relaxed too.

Its like when you go into someones home and they're really uptight about things being tidy, clean, dust free, using coasters etc, you feel really uptight too. Whereas if you walk into the home of someone a bit more relaxed, and the home looks 'lived in', then you feel a lot more relaxed.



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Re: I feel like people are uncomfortable around me =( - December 24th 2009, 03:32 AM

well i think that you need to talk more to other people. try to make new friends at least. talk to others and ask if they would like to hang out with you. at least go to the movies or hang out in your house. have a merry christmas and a happy new year.
   
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Re: I feel like people are uncomfortable around me =( - December 25th 2009, 05:48 AM

I understand completely, I,m a very anti social person, i always liket to be alone, Im just used to it. I talk ALOT sometimes & im really loud jump and random (People like me more then) I fake confidence alot, fake smiles. Inside I really just want to be alone, There are lots and lots of different parts to me but the main one inside is quiet antsocial and lonley - I like to think alot about things, I like to observe and learn things.

I usually come of as 'mysterious' to those who meet me, They can just tell by my actions and my eyes and stuff.

Recently my behavior has became a massive problem, and now I have to fake everything. I dont even feel me anymore...
Try to be more enthusiastic, & confident, put a smile every now & then, people tend to gravitate towards happy enthusiastic jump confident people which you can sort of be.
   
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