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(Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 19th 2010, 05:21 PM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

OK, So...some background. I met this wonderful young woman and fell in love with her. While i knew that she has had some (ok, alot) sexual abuse as a child...but i have been helping her though it and loving her all the way. She has become really comfortable with me, comfortable enough that she wants to have sex with me.

Well, earlier this week...we fooled around in her room while her mom was at work . we were getting physical but things weren't...working like they should :P and she suggested that we roleplay rape...I seriously raised an eyebrow but she assured me that she wanted to do it and that she trust me. About three minutes into it...she snapped. She flipped and suddenly got very timid and very scared and didn't know or remember who i was or how she got there. She then flipped again got all cynical and shit...trying to trick me into letting her try to self harm herself. Me, not having any of it, pinned her down and held her there.

That is when i notice that her eyes were different... She went slack and had dead eyes..but was still talking to me. She then said in the dead voice "**** is not safe" (**** being my GF's name...) Me, being a religious and guilbie person thought it was a demon possession and lit a plasmid to banish it and gave it a heavy threat to get out. ( :P hah...funny on my part)

She then flipped to a little girl form, a 10 year old version of herself back in 2003. She didn't know who I was or why we were both naked in her bed I started to understand what was going on...got us both dressed and tried to get the main alt back up to the surface. Once there, she didn't remember us even coming into the bedroom and getting undressed, let alone the rest of the events of the afternoon. We talked, I told her what happened and I told her I think she has Dissociative Identity disorder from her abuse. My Girlfriend said she wanted to know more...and wanted me to help her. So I spent five hours with her yesterday playing Russian roulette with her personalities, identifying some and getting a handle on it now.

Together...we have caught the little girl up to 2010 and kinda told her what has happened, and she has a trust with me and is now talking with the main alt inside the mind. I have also talked with an antagonist alt inside her, which is a male. He knows I exist and is still trying to scare me off...unsuccessfully. We have also started a technique to bring her main personality back to the surface in case of an emergency, essentially rub her clit and kiss her until she comes back up. I can also identify which alt is up by just kissing them :P .

However, The main alt...my girlfriend, doesn't want to see a professional about this. She wants ME to work with her on this. All the psych training I have is psychobabble with my mother, one semester of Psych 101 in college, and anything i have done on here. And yet...I am impressed with the progress we have made together. But I'm scared that I will, mess up and make it worse or something. I'm flying blind here! I want to help her, I believe I can help her just like this...but I think I need some back up or a plan here. I am NOT going to leave her over this. not a chance in hell. But i think we need a professional. What can i do? Should i still just work her though this? or should i push her for more professional help?


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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 19th 2010, 05:29 PM

I think you should absolutely try to get her to go to a professional. DID is really serious, and I don't think its something that an untrained person should try to figure out.
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 19th 2010, 06:41 PM

Hey there,

I think you should definitely try and persuade her to seek professional help. I know it would be really scary for her but a professional could help her in ways that you cannot. Did you girlfriend express the reasons behind her not wanting to go to a therapist?


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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 19th 2010, 10:13 PM

Hey everyone~
I am the girlfriend and there are many reasons to me not wanting to go to a professional because i have bad excperince. I am trying to fix this with my boyfriends help


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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 19th 2010, 11:06 PM

Angela,
I'm very sorry that you had a bad experience with a counselor in the past. But unfortunately, your boyfriend does not have the experience or the knowledge to help you. There are other counselors out there, and I'm sure you will be able to find one that you like.
Best of luck
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 20th 2010, 09:03 AM

I'm a bit puzzled here, since the person in question refuses to see a professional for treatment, has she ever been officially diagnosed with DID or is it a self or amateur diagnosis? It could also be a severe form of PTSD as individuals can hallucinate vividly the events that took place when the rapes and sexual abuses occurred. There is an informal diagnosis of rape trauma syndrome, which although is not in the DSM nor ICD to my knowledge but is acknowledged as a sub-type of PTSD and is generally recognized by law. So if you bring her to a clinician, then they would likely turn to PTSD unless she has already been diagnosed and her medical record states DID, in which case the clinician may or may not accept the DID anyways.

If you bring her for professional help, then do not be surprised if it does not come or if it rejects the idea of DID because many researchers and clinicians do not consider DID as a mental disorder, thus they may treat it differently or not at all.
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 20th 2010, 12:53 PM

She said above that she's had a bad experience with counselors before, so I'm assuming she's been diagnosed.
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 20th 2010, 09:04 PM

to clear things up i am diganosis with PTSD and DID i am not going to a professional yet for i am scared. The reason why i want my bf to help me is because a.) i have major trust issues B.) he listens and c.) i love him i want to work things out when it comes to DID and PTSD and the more i think about it the more willing i may be to see a professional


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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 20th 2010, 11:44 PM

You really should go to a professional. I understand it may be scary, but wouldn't it be more scary for you to not be able to ever potentially get it under control?
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 21st 2010, 07:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by strength_to_surrive_si View Post
to clear things up i am diganosis with PTSD and DID i am not going to a professional yet for i am scared. The reason why i want my bf to help me is because a.) i have major trust issues B.) he listens and c.) i love him i want to work things out when it comes to DID and PTSD and the more i think about it the more willing i may be to see a professional
But your boyfriend said that he told you that he thought you had DID and that you didn't know that you had it. So you can't have been diagnosed by a professional. And you can't know for sure that you have DID or PTSD unless you are diagnosed by a professional.

Honestly, I think it is a really bad idea for your boyfriend to be helping you work through this. No offence to him, but he isn't qualified enough to help you and he might accidently make things worse. Also, dealing with this by yourselves is not going to bring you closer together. If anything, it will drive you further apart. Dealing with something like this is incredibly stressful, and loving each other is not enough to deal with something like that. You are young, and someone who has been working with people who have DID for the past twenty years is going to be much more help than someone who doesn't even have a degree in the area. I don't mean to insult your boyfriend or say that he is stupid by any means, he is just not qualified to do this. And you aren't going to get better until you can admit that you need professional help.

Kyeto - You know that you need a professional to help you and her get through this. Please get someone involved. I know you mightn't want to do that because your girlfriend doesn't want you to, but it is the best option for her and you would be helping her more by finding a professional.

Good luck.



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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 21st 2010, 08:04 AM

I'm finding the same thing that ShimmeringFaerie did and that is, Kyeto-X stated he thought the girlfriend may have DID and she admitted to not knowing about it. This doesn't make any sense if the girlfriend was previously diagnosed unless she was pretending to be clueless on the subject. I'm not believing this bit of the story that the girlfriend was previously diagnosed with DID and PTSD.

As for the rest, although I'm more skeptic now for the reason above, I'll believe the story and the only answer is get help from a professional. Kyeto-X and the girlfriend, you two may like to try and work together, perhaps Kyeto can help her a bit but the symptoms of PTSD do not go away easily. Some studies have shown that roughly 16% or so of patients exhibit the symptoms and qualify for the PTSD diagnosis 16 years or so after the initial event occurred, although this number is presumed to be a bit higher in more recent studies. As intelligent as Kyeto may be, he's not adequate for this.
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 22nd 2010, 06:34 PM

No i never told him was digonisied i was digonasised with PTSd at age 12 after 6 years of abuse and no DID i have and been diagonsised just dont get help


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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 23rd 2010, 04:03 AM

Ignoring anything and everything that doesn't add-up, I'm going to post a one-line of a response and say, would you feel comfortable making an appointment to see a professional if your boyfriend accompanied you at least to your initial session? Sometimes it can help bringing a friend, or in this case, a partner, in order to help you ease into the session, feel more comfortable and have that emotional support that I've found mental health professionals have never been able to offer me. It's an idea, if nothing else.
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 24th 2010, 02:54 AM

I don't understand how you could have been diagnosed with DID and not gotten help... It's a very serious disorder
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 25th 2010, 12:08 AM

I was diagonise at a time when i was also diganosied with having cancer again so they decided it wasnt that impomant


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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 25th 2010, 06:18 AM

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I was diagonise at a time when i was also diganosied with having cancer again so they decided it wasnt that impomant
Even if it isn't as important, the very fact that you were diagnosed and display the symptoms of DID would affect the treatment for your cancer. I'm sure that the symptoms of the DID as well as PTSD would have affected your academic performance and social functioning, so it seems a bit odd to me that no teacher, other parent or friend would have noticed your DID symptoms and get the school to intervene for your safety and health.

At this time though, it's clear that regardless of your cancer which you may or may not still have, hopefully don't still have, the DID and/or PTSD symptoms are beyond your control. If you feel very comfortable with your boyfriend, then take him along for the psychotherapy because if he is this devoted and integrated with you, he should know what the treatment procedure will be so he may use it on you to further help you. If nothing else, he'll get a very interesting learning experience.
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 29th 2010, 08:15 AM

I think you're a liar. Any doctor, no matter how stupid they are wouldn't have just diagnosed you with DID and sent you on your way.

Especially if you also have cancer. This whole story from the time you got on just seems a bit off.

What treatments did you undergo for the PTSD? Or did that doctor send you on your way too?
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 30th 2010, 09:09 PM

I am NOT A LIAR you have no rite to call me tat plz I hate it no oone underrstabds me


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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 30th 2010, 09:19 PM

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I am NOT A LIAR you have no rite to call me tat plz I hate it no oone underrstabds me
I'm afraid House does have a right to call you that given the right of freedom of speech. They may get in trouble for doing so but no promises on that.

As said before, your story is something I don't buy but the only you will get other than that is, see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and referral for suitable therapy by a professional. Take your boyfriend along if you're both comfortable with it but either way, see a doctor.
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - May 31st 2010, 10:46 PM

Whatever u need to shut it cus im not a liar


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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - June 4th 2010, 04:44 AM

Then go see a doctor. DID is hard to live with, and you'll fall to pieces doing it on your own. Don't be an idiot. Your oncologist should have noticed something.

What type of cancer do you have?
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - June 4th 2010, 12:09 PM

How ridiculous. I call BS. If this is even real, go see a counsellor. That's it. We've given the best answer possible- I think this thread should be closed, personally, as it's contradictory and conflicting.
   
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Angry Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - June 6th 2010, 07:25 PM

First of i say that your saying BS u just joined teen help and ur making accusing me and other people of lying well i am not lying and u need to stp acting like u know every god damn thing in the world. And for house i have falling to peices i dont see professsionals due to the past of them not believing me with the abuse


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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - June 6th 2010, 07:52 PM

Hey Angela, it seems like you've been through a lot. I know you just want the help of your boyfriend, but at the same time, I think he needs help in order to help you. Why not go and see a councellor BUT have your boyfriend there to reassure you? It must be scary, but he want's to help you. He just doesn't know how to do it.
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - June 6th 2010, 09:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by strength_to_surrive_si View Post
First of i say that your saying BS u just joined teen help and ur making accusing me and other people of lying well i am not lying and u need to stp acting like u know every god damn thing in the world. And for house i have falling to peices i dont see professsionals due to the past of them not believing me with the abuse
  1. I don't see how the length of time I've had an account has anything to do with it.
  2. I have not had to accuse anybody else of lying on this website and I hope I never feel like I have to again.
  3. I don't know everything, I have never acted like I know everything and I never will know everything.
  4. If professionals don't believe you, and some of us don't believe you, maybe you really need to look at what you're hiding.
  5. I'm sorry if I offended you but there are things on this thread that make no sense and perhaps we could be able to help you more if you re-told the story in your own words.
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - June 7th 2010, 03:12 AM

Quote:
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First of i say that your saying BS u just joined teen help and ur making accusing me and other people of lying well i am not lying and u need to stp acting like u know every god damn thing in the world. And for house i have falling to peices i dont see professsionals due to the past of them not believing me with the abuse
As said already, your story makes no sense. You can keep whining that it does but from what you have typed in this one thread it does not. At least one doctor diagnosed you with PTSD and DID so clearly they do believe you, otherwise you would have gotten a different diagnosis. If therapists and counsellors have not believed you, then either you've seen some lousy ones or it was so clear to them they had to say it to your face they don't believe you. The moment you say experts don't believe you, many people on here will not believe you. You're not going to get any other answers on here other than your story making no sense and go for professional help with or without your boyfriend. Those exact answers have been given many times so I don't know what it is you expect to have happen in this thread anymore yet you keep on responding with anger to each post that is like that.

So answer this one simple question: given the consistency of the advice and responses, what else do you expect users to say in this thread to you? Tell us what it is and maybe we can get somewhere other than you telling people they know nothing because they recently joined.
   
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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - June 7th 2010, 07:49 AM

Hey Everyone

Let’s remember to please stay on topic. And the topic in this thread is responding to the original poster about his situation and giving him any advice you have. Anything other then that is not helpful to the original poster of this thread and seems to be causing arguments instead of giving advice.

If anyone would like to have side conversations with any other user in this thread then please take it to PM.

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Re: (Sex and sexual abuse) Girl Friend with DID - June 16th 2010, 05:35 PM

hey angela... chill..
you arent a liar and no one has a right to call you so...
i have a friend who's been through almost the same thing, minus cancer, so i know how your guy must be feeling.
But, as everyone is saying, it's a serious disorder and you need professional help! For your BF's sake, for so many of us who are concerned, just try once.. Like 'playing pretend' and others said, take him along and if you dont like it, you can always change. Hoping the cancer's been cured...
Best wishes.

Will, I am amazed and happy that you love her so much and are so devoted... Man.. there are a lotta things ppl could learn from you..
listen, when you love her so much, i guess you should be able to talk her into professional help. Try a bit more...
Best of Luck!

to others: if you can help, try to.. if you cant, then leave it to people who are trying. if you dont believe, and if ur opinion is that it's BS, save it. She knows what the truth is and how much he loves her... i dont think she'll play with his feelings.. not so drastically.
   
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