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I'm scared - June 21st 2010, 01:17 PM

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I think I might suffer some form of depression, but i'm too embarrassed and scared to get it checked out.
I know that depression and bipolar run on my dad's side of the family, and neurosis on my mum's but neither of my parents have any problems. I just seem to suffer total highs and devastating lows all the time. I can swing from a gloriously ecstatic mood to a suicidal self hating one in the space of a couple of hours, and its impacting on my personal life - my boyfriend doesn't understand it at all. When I'm in a good mood I'm high as I thing I could be - I can easily cry of happiness for no specific reason, and it's great because everything seems so perfect. But when I'm on a low I feel horrific. I break things, I get angry, I sob uncontrollably for hours, I dont eat or sleep, it makes me physically ill. I can't stand for my partner to touch me and the thought of sex repulses me because I feel disgusted with myself. I've noticed I pull at my hair in my sleep and grind my teeth even on good days.

I've looked all this up and it supposedly points to depression but I don't want to admit that it's right. Someone please tell me I'm ok?? It can just be stress, right?
   
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Re: I'm scared - June 21st 2010, 02:31 PM

We can't tell really, you have enough symptoms that it *may* just be anything. Perhaps it might be best to see your doctor about it.
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Re: I'm scared - June 21st 2010, 02:45 PM

It sounds like a form of depression, but why would you be scared or disgusted at yourself because of it? Clinical depressions aren't your fault at all in any way at all and can easily be treated. It would be worse if you were "ok" but still having huge mood swings, than if you had depression which would explain everything.

Get it checked by a professional, chances are you can find out exactly what's wrong, get it treated and get back to living a normal life and being happy


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Re: I'm scared - June 21st 2010, 04:35 PM

I don't want anyone to know - my parents, my colleagues etc...and I'm scared to tell y doctor about it, I'm worried he'll tell me I'm just a teenager and laugh at me for being daft
   
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Re: I'm scared - June 21st 2010, 04:54 PM

If your doctor ever laughs at you find a new doctor.

The largest issue doctors have nowadays is patients not going to them about "unimportant" issues, only to suddenly appear when those issues become dangerous medical conditions. Getting anything checked out by your doctor will always do more good than harm.
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Re: I'm scared - June 21st 2010, 05:01 PM

Doctors are trained to deal with these sort of things and have hundreds of teenagers who suffer depression coming to them for help, I can promise you that. Quite a few people here on TH are receiving treatment for depression and I'm sure a lot of them can tell you it's more than worth it and can really change things for the better. You most definitely aren't being daft. And if depression is something that has run in your family, then chances are they'll be able to relate to your issues and help you. Don't be ashamed, depression isn't something in your head that you're being silly about, it's an actual condition that isn't your fault whatsoever and can be easily treated.

At least get it checked by your doctor, you can decide on who to tell or not and what to do, after that.


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Re: I'm scared - June 21st 2010, 05:50 PM

Ok, I'll get it checked. Thanks guys
   
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Re: I'm scared - June 21st 2010, 07:20 PM

It sounds like Bipolar to me, but I'm not a doctor and can't diagnose you. You really need to see someone. I wouldn't worry about your parents or friends, you only have to tell them as much as you want and they'll probably be more understanding than you think. I know it can be hard to talk to people about these types of problems but keep in mind that it doesn't make you a bad person to have a problem like this, and there's nothing wrong with getting help at all. Good luck:]
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