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Confused. - August 5th 2010, 01:58 PM

I dont think i have an official mental illness. But.. the other day, my boyfriend passed away. Being only 15 i have taken it really hard. But my head is so messed up. I breakdown every 5 minutes, i think horrible thoughts, i cant even think straight, im going insane. I even got made to speak to a psyciatrist but i acted completely normal infront of her.. and completely broke down at home. Its so hard i dont know what to do but i feel like i have no one and i mean it my head is messed up! No one has been able to help me i dont know what to do :\
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Re: Confused. - August 5th 2010, 04:02 PM

Hey again,
It's Ok to feel like this after such a huge shock, I don't think you need to worry about having anything wrong. It might help to talk to a councillor to stop it from damaging you too much, but for now it's perfectly acceptable to be feeling this way, it'll take a while to calm down. Like I said in the other thread, make sure you've got someone close to talk to, and look after yourself. No one will be expecting miracles from you.

Take care
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Re: Confused. - August 5th 2010, 08:01 PM

thanks, I know some people have actually asked me to cheer up. cheer up!? how can they even ask that.. its obvious if this happened u wouldnt cheer up for a long time.
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Re: Confused. - August 6th 2010, 02:03 AM

Hey love, what you're gonig through is perfectly normal. I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you, that's really awful But it's only been a short time, and despite what you see on Home and Away, people don't get over loss within a few days. Please don't feel bad about it. I think it might be worth maybe going to counselling sessions for a bit longer?? I wouldn't worry about the fact that you acted 'completely normal in front of her and then broke down at home' ~ I used to go o therapy and it took me a little while to be able to open up in front of my counsellor. Sometimes I'd feel I'd wasted a session if I pretended to be ok in front of her and get upset afterwards. But I promise you, it gets easier and I think it might help.
No one is gonig to expect you to forget aboutt his straight away. Anyone who told you to cheer up probably just doesn't like seeing you upset and doesn't really understand that this isn't something you should say to someone in your situation.
Please just hold on hon and take each day at a time. I promise you'll start to feel better.xxx

Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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Re: Confused. - August 6th 2010, 07:04 AM

Grieving and being distraught over the death of a loved one or great friend is normal. Others may take less time to show they're mourning but since it happened one day ago, it's absurd people would tell you to cheer up and to get a psychiatrist to see you. The only reason I would encourage someone to see a psychiatrist if their loved one died a day or so ago is if the death occurred in rather brutal circumstances, such as a person killing your boyfriend in front of you. To me, that's a legit reason to send you to the psychiatrist because you may have PTSD and to help you cope in ways that are least harmful. But if no similar circumstances for his death occurred, then it's absurd people are telling you to cheer up.

When my first dog died (we had an incredibly strong bond, stronger than I have with many friends and some family), I was distraught with a mix of sadness and anger as to why the emergency vets couldn't save him in time and why there was so much traffic we took too much time getting there. I'll be honest, the few days after it happened, I was pissed off that there was so much traffic in the way, when someone told me to "cheer up", "it's just a dog" or "not the fault of others", I'd want to tear them apart and for several people, I did do that. However, my sadness was normal and perhaps not all the anger was justified but I got over it after about a month or so. If someone makes enough fun of my past dog to my face, it's pretty much the only thing gives me a hair trigger to break their jaw and I'm never much of a violent person.
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