TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lost_Confused Offline
Wherever life takes me.
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Lost_Confused's Avatar
 
Name: Nika
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Land of corn.

Posts: 754
Join Date: January 14th 2009

Exclamation I can't love, i can't trust. - September 17th 2010, 12:33 AM

I've convinced myself that love doesn't exist, and people are only there to satisfy your needs. (Not sexually, because i'm not interested in sex, but i mean to help amuse me, and keep things interesting.)
I've been a bit bitchy lately, like i love playing around with people feelings, and manipulating them. I don't know why, i just get this feeling of excitement and accomplishment when i do.
Like when i'm about to do something dangerous, it makes me feel alive, and makes me excited.
I'm taking welding in school, and it's very dangerous and one wrong move could blow everyone up. But for some reason it give me an adrenaline rush, and it feel like things get interesting and exciting and it makes me feel ... happy almost.

If anything did happen, i don't think i'd give a damn, unfortunately.
I've shut off all my emotions, and i don't care. People leave no matter what you do or how you act, why not have some fun with them?
...That's my take anyways....

I know it's screwed, but that's just how i think right now.
Help?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Batman. Offline
Protector of Gotham
I can't get enough
*********
 
Batman.'s Avatar
 
Name: Julz
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,724
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: December 14th 2009

Re: I can't love, i can't trust. - September 17th 2010, 03:34 AM

Hey fellow Female Welder! (Heh, I've graduated college with welding certificates )

Anyways, the excitement of danger and such sounds like typical adrenaline, however, the manipulation of people could be a mental thing, or it could be based on how you were raised (I don't know your past, so I can't say). Although, I'm not sure if anyone who manipulates because of a mental illness is outright aware they're manipulative.

Either way, if it's worrying you, you may want to seek a therapist, or a psychologist. They may be able to help you, whether its an actual illness, or a product from your environment. So it would probably be worth looking into.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Lost_Confused Offline
Wherever life takes me.
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Lost_Confused's Avatar
 
Name: Nika
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Land of corn.

Posts: 754
Join Date: January 14th 2009

Re: I can't love, i can't trust. - September 17th 2010, 05:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by -ArcAngel- View Post
Hey fellow Female Welder! (Heh, I've graduated college with welding certificates )

Anyways, the excitement of danger and such sounds like typical adrenaline, however, the manipulation of people could be a mental thing, or it could be based on how you were raised (I don't know your past, so I can't say). Although, I'm not sure if anyone who manipulates because of a mental illness is outright aware they're manipulative.

Either way, if it's worrying you, you may want to seek a therapist, or a psychologist. They may be able to help you, whether its an actual illness, or a product from your environment. So it would probably be worth looking into.
Awesome!

It's probably how i was raised, i wasn't raised in a good environment. I'm in a good environment right now, but that's 16 years too late...... There aren't really any therapists or psychologists around here, there's the school counselor, but that's not really the same thing...
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Batman. Offline
Protector of Gotham
I can't get enough
*********
 
Batman.'s Avatar
 
Name: Julz
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,724
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: December 14th 2009

Re: I can't love, i can't trust. - September 17th 2010, 06:21 PM

Well the school councellor might even be able to help you, even if its something as simple as finding a therapist nearby, or having one come to the school for you. Its always worth a shot.

But yeah, could be something as simple as environment, but you should still seek someone to talk to, if its in any way possible, mainly because this seems to have an effect on your personal life.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Lost_Confused Offline
Wherever life takes me.
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Lost_Confused's Avatar
 
Name: Nika
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Land of corn.

Posts: 754
Join Date: January 14th 2009

Re: I can't love, i can't trust. - September 17th 2010, 08:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by -ArcAngel- View Post
Well the school councellor might even be able to help you, even if its something as simple as finding a therapist nearby, or having one come to the school for you. Its always worth a shot.

But yeah, could be something as simple as environment, but you should still seek someone to talk to, if its in any way possible, mainly because this seems to have an effect on your personal life.

Yeah, but what about my mom? Would the counselor tell my mom? Cuz i don't want her to know. She hasn't believed that i was depressed before, and she probably won't listen to me about my emotions shutting down.

And i don't really care about my feeling shutting down, that's fine with me actually at the moment because it helps me be frank with people without worrying, but i don't want to lose someone important if they come into my life.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Batman. Offline
Protector of Gotham
I can't get enough
*********
 
Batman.'s Avatar
 
Name: Julz
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,724
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: December 14th 2009

Re: I can't love, i can't trust. - September 17th 2010, 09:10 PM

Honestly, depends on where you live. But in most places, 16 is the age where you can sign a Confidentiality Agreement, so that the only thing disclosed when you see a councellor, therapist, doctor, etc. is if they're in fear that you'll hurt yourself or others.

i.e. if you said "I'm depressed, I feel life isn't worth living sometimes", etc., they won't disclose that to parents. They legally can't (depending on your laws, but 16 seems to be the age most places).

HOWEVER, if you said "I've got a plan, I'm going to kill myself", or "My mom pisses me off so bad, I'm going to beat her face bloody", or something else hinting towards harm towards yourself or others, THEN they can legally tell your parents.

You get what I mean?


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Lost_Confused Offline
Wherever life takes me.
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Lost_Confused's Avatar
 
Name: Nika
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Land of corn.

Posts: 754
Join Date: January 14th 2009

Re: I can't love, i can't trust. - September 18th 2010, 12:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by -ArcAngel- View Post
Honestly, depends on where you live. But in most places, 16 is the age where you can sign a Confidentiality Agreement, so that the only thing disclosed when you see a councellor, therapist, doctor, etc. is if they're in fear that you'll hurt yourself or others.

i.e. if you said "I'm depressed, I feel life isn't worth living sometimes", etc., they won't disclose that to parents. They legally can't (depending on your laws, but 16 seems to be the age most places).

HOWEVER, if you said "I've got a plan, I'm going to kill myself", or "My mom pisses me off so bad, I'm going to beat her face bloody", or something else hinting towards harm towards yourself or others, THEN they can legally tell your parents.

You get what I mean?

Yeah, but i don't like telling people about my personal problems, i'm not a real "open" person.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Batman. Offline
Protector of Gotham
I can't get enough
*********
 
Batman.'s Avatar
 
Name: Julz
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,724
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: December 14th 2009

Re: I can't love, i can't trust. - September 18th 2010, 01:43 AM

Me neither. Unfortunately, its something you'll have to overcome, at least somewhat, to ensure that you get the proper help, whether its a mental illness or an environmental behaviour picked up.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Opal Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Opal's Avatar
 

Posts: 60
Join Date: September 28th 2010

Re: I can't love, i can't trust. - September 29th 2010, 10:12 AM

I think a lot of people are wary of love. The thing is, love does exist, but it may not be exactly the same as what some movies and books portray it as. Think of a person you love, then you will know that love does exist.

You sound like a type eight on the enneagram. I have copy pasted the following from the Enneagram Institute webpage:

The more they attempt to make themselves impervious to hurt or pain (whether physical or emotional), the more they “shut down” emotionally to become hardened and rock-like.
When Eights are emotionally healthy, however, they have a resourceful, “can-do” attitude as well as a steady inner drive. They take the initiative and make things happen with a great passion for life. They are honorable and authoritative—natural leaders who have a solid, commanding presence. Their groundedness gives them abundant “common sense” as well as the ability to be decisive. Eights are willing to “take the heat,” knowing that any decision cannot please everyone. But as much as possible, they want to look after the interests of the people in their charge without playing favorites. They use their talents and fortitude to construct a better world for everyone in their lives.


**************************

If that sounds like you, think of a person you could be emotionally safe with and practice being vunerable with them. You say you now have a good environment, so let that be your safe place. Don't let your safe place be school or boyfriends, as you are obviously not comfortable with that yet.

If you want to know more about the enneagram google The Enneagram Institue and take a look. It's pretty interesting stuff.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
love, trust

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.